Love is for children.
It's not that difficult of a concept, but many people just don't seem to understand this. One person who definitely did was Natasha Romanova.
Natasha was taught many things in life. She was taught from square one to fight for those who told her to fight. She was taught how to dance for those who told her to dance; for those who wanted to hide their true intentions from the world. She was taught to steal, to kill, to obey.
But she was never taught how to love.
And why should she have been? Love wouldn't put a roof over her head, love wouldn't put food in her stomach, love wouldn't keep her alive.
It was a useless attribute that was not required in her specific skill set.
Natasha had been on duty the night everything, yet nothing, changed completely. She was on a mission to assassinate a powerful politician, and she had never failed yet. She jumped on the rooftops, carefully landing her feet on the slick shingles. The night was late, the weather was cold and rainy in Budapest that made her dark suit even darker and heavier, but it did not matter to her. Throughout the city, only few lights certain windows were lit. She finally located her target and slipped inside.
It had not been long until Natasha had realized it was a trap. She had heard an arrow whizz past her ear as she flipped away and out of the window. She had tried to lose her captor, but found herself surprisingly, evenly matched. She had been pushed into a wall by her captor and looked into his eyes, still trying to fight back. She had turned on her Widow stings, but they only whirred and died. She started to look desperate.
It was after a long fight for her life that she had been offered freedom from her life.
The offeror? Clint Barton. Codename: Hawkeye.
Natasha looked back on that night with a sly smile as she sipped her coffee, looking outside of the window of her flat in Stark Tower. It was cold and rainy, and she could see the rooftops and lights in windows just like that night.
She took another sip of her coffee when a hand was placed gently on her shoulder.
"Hey, Tasha."
Natasha had heard him coming, even with how quietly her partner could move. She lowered the cup from her lips. "Hey, Barton," she said softly back. She turned and looked into his eyes, remembering the night that they had first met. Instead of a harsh glare that was given to her when she first saw those eyes, she instead saw a soft kindness that made his brown eyes melt.
Natasha knew that Clint was a very strong man. He would act tough and business-like in front of everyone else.
But in front of her, Clint was exposed. And he couldn't help it.
Natasha knew that Clint was a genuinely kind, thoughtful gentleman. A bit of a child, but a truly endearing person nonetheless.
She only wished that she could expose herself raw to him as much as he would for her.
"How'd your last mission go?" she asked him as she walked to the coffee maker, grabbing another mug from the cabinet and refilling her cup along with his.
"Oh you know, the usual," Clint said, a look of thanks in his eyes that did not match his nonchalance in his appearance. Again, exposing himself to only her, Natasha would think. He leaned against the breakfast bar. "Well, our old kind of usual," he continued. "Not aliens from the sky."
Natasha hummed into the lip of her cup as she took another sip. She looked back out the window of the newly-named Avengers Tower at the New York skyline and they stood silently watching the rain hit the window panes.
It hadn't been long since SHIELD had fallen. Natasha and Clint shortly after joined the Avengers on a permanent basis. There hadn't been anything too serious like alien attacks, just the usual run-of-the-mill missions that SHIELD used to provide for them.
"Tonight kind of reminds me of when we first met," Clint said softly. "It's so weird how much things have changed."
"Not really," Natasha answered back, almost in a whisper.
Clint let the comment stir around in the silence for a moment before he put his mug down on the table. "Tasha…"
"Don't start, Barton," Natasha interrupted, glancing back at him with a look that meant that he should stop while he was ahead.
Clint let out a sigh, dropping his arms unceremoniously by his sides. He turned away from her and walked over to the window, leaning against the railings. They stood in silence for a few moments.
"I'm so sorry," Clint said in a hush to the window.
She could tell that Clint had fallen into a serious state. "What for?" Natasha looked up from her coffee.
"You know what for."
Natasha stood up and put her cup down, walking over to the window next to Clint. "Well, Clint. There are a lot of things you still need to apologize to me for," she said, hoping to get a laugh as she reached him and leaned on the window pane next to him.
Clint let out a chuckle and scratched his upper lip. "Well, that's not new."
Natasha bumped him in the chest with her elbow. "Talk to me, Clint."
Clint let out a sigh, his face falling into seriousness. "When SHIELD fell, I wasn't there…"
Natasha interrupted him with a firm look. "Clint, don't do this."
"I need to," he said and straightened up. "…When… when SHIELD fell, I wasn't there for you."
"You were on a mission."
"A mission that was set up by Hydra to keep me away, and I fell for it!" Clint started to raise his voice. He took in a breath, and looked away from her. "I… I don't even know who I am anymore. That… that time with Loki,"
"Clint, don't do this to yourself."
"I know, I know!" he groaned and stepped away, pacing. "It's just, I remember how I felt when you pulled me out from under his… voodoo magic. I didn't know if I was fighting for good, or for evil. And then when SHIELD fell, I realized…" he turned to look at her. "I realized that I was on a mission for the bad guys, and I couldn't be there to keep you safe."
Natasha took in a breath, looking mortified. "Clint…"
He interrupted, "And I know that you can take care of yourself; you've been able to long before I met you. I just…" he paused and scratched the back of his head. "…I just wanted to be there with you."
After a few moments, Natasha felt herself slip into a smile. She walked over to her distraught partner and placed a hand on his cheek. "Clint, I… know how you feel," she started. "I thought before that I had traded the KGB for SHIELD, but I had really traded it in for Hydra."
"Tasha…" Clint started and put his hand over hers that was on his cheek.
"But we need to move past that," Natasha interrupted with a sigh. "We can't live in the past. We have to focus on now."
They stood like that in silence for a few moments before Clint smiled. "I don't care who I work for, as long as I get to work with you."
Natasha looked back into his eyes in surprise, but it melted away when she saw his genuine sincerity in his eyes; a look that Natasha had never seen anyone else give her but him. She smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. Clint moved his hand slowly from her hand to around her waist and leaned in to accept it and give more back in return. When they went back for air, Natasha smiled slyly at him, and he couldn't help but grin back.
Natasha grabbed his hand and motioned him to her bedroom. "Come on, slow poke, or I'll make sure your new codename has something involving a sloth."
Clint followed her and laughed back, "Hey, let's just hope your codename isn't literal."
She smacked him forward into the room with a laugh and pushed him lightly onto her bed, Clint gladly looking up at her as he landed on his bottom on the foot of the bed. She couldn't help but smile at his endearing eyes as she grasped at the tie around her bathrobe and pulled it slowly and sensually off of her, letting it land with a quiet plop to the ground. She couldn't stop herself from blushing as Clint took her in with his eyes. She allowed herself to blush for him, knowing that this time was different from other times just by the look in Clint's eyes. Everyone else who had seen her in a little silk dress had looked at her greedily and with pride, but Clint looked at her with adoration and with a sense that he was unworthy of even looking at her.
Natasha lowered herself slowly onto Clint's lap, straddling him. Clint brought gentle, strong arms around her and she started kissing and nipping at his neck. He tilted his head back as he moaned in pleasure, giving her room to explore him further.
When she pulled back, Clint could do nothing but gaze at her face. He brought up a hand and moved a piece of her bangs out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "God, you're so beautiful," he whispered hoarsely. He started stroking more of her hair off of her neck, massaging her gently. He raised his head to her face and gently kissed her closed eyelids, her nose, her lips. He nipped at her ears as he let his hand trail around her curves and down to her thighs, rubbing them softly.
"Is this okay?" he whispered into her ear. Natasha nodded against his chest and slowly grabbed his hand. He allowed her to take it and she brought it down in-between her thighs, letting him inside to stroke at her clit. She took the other hand and put it to her breast, showing him that he could play with them. In return, Natasha reached over and grabbed at his, already half-erect from the foreplay. They took turns stroking each other, letting out moans that might have included each other's names until they finally let go.
Natasha rolled onto the side of the bed, looking at the nightstand on Clint's side. He followed her wordless instructions and opened the drawer, pulling out a wrapped condom. He bit the top plastic off and pulled it out, rolling it onto his ready cock. She rolled onto her back and looked up as Clint carefully placed himself over her, his hands holding him up on both sides of Natasha's head. He leaned in and gave her a kiss before she nodded, and slid into her.
Clint pumped slowly in and out of her, letting her get used to the sensation. "Hurry up," she joked hoarsely, and Clint pushed in suddenly with a shit-eating grin. While they were moving up and down on each other, Clint started to gently wrap his hand in Natasha's hair. Natasha responded by putting her arms around Clint's broad shoulders. It was only a few minutes more before Natasha had finished, Clint finishing shortly after.
He panted and tried to catch his breath, leaning his head gently on her chest. Natasha moved her arms from around his shoulders and brought her hands to his head, gently stroking his hair.
"I missed you," he said breathlessly.
Natasha stayed silent, still stroking the back of Clint's head before she whispered, surprising Clint. "I missed you too."
Love is for children,
But who said that one couldn't divulge in a guilty pleasure?