An Edd's Work is Never Done
By: Jaha Canon
Okay, I wanted to write this story after reading some of the other stories that are being posted here. I'm seeing a lot of angst-y sockheads (well, that's not really new). Well, personally, I don't think that Edd is very angst-y. I can see where people might get the idea.
Personally, I think Edd's pretty content with his life and his friends. It might depress him a little that his parents are never home, but he seemed to have adjusted really well. Notice: he can handle Eddy's outbursts; he barely acknowledges insults anymore; and he never seems out to prove anything. No, I don't see much secret angst in Edd.
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The vacuum hummed tunelessly as it removed unidentified filth from the carpet. The vacuum's operator sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow. The sun had just set and he had yet to finish cleaning up after another day of scamming with his two best friends.
The sock-headed Ed beamed to himself as he worked. However unpleasant or disgusting every pile, puddle, or mass was- it had a story to it.
The location of Edd's house was ideal, so said Eddy that very morning. The perfect place to set up "Ed's Barnland Adventure".
This would be why hay was scattered about the floor in most of the rooms. All over the walls and ceiling, milk was dripping from sometime in the late morning when Ed decided to be a cow and the person milking the cow at the same time. He had managed to cover, not only Edd's house, but all the guests with milk which, of course, they didn't appreciate. Sarah went on a rampage with a pitchfork, but only the curtain and a few innocent pieces of future felt the wrath.
An awful smell leaked throughout the house from the kitchen. It smelled like a mixture of maple syrup, orange juice, and who knows what else. Eddy had decided early in the afternoon that since Edd had no decent drinks (sodas, in any way shape or form) at his house, he'd have to make one himself. Well, Eddy should have stuck to making omelets because he didn't exactly choose the best ingredients. -And he really should have checked the expiration date on that orange juice that Ed had so kindly brought over from his house before adding it to the concoction. When Edd returned from the bathroom he found a big stain on the floor of who knows how many ingredients and Eddy over the sink trying to squeeze the taste from his tongue.
Other than all of that, there were muddy footprints in the entrance ways, dishes left unclean, filth that Edd wouldn't know how to clean if he wasn't so used to it, and tables that were mysteriously very, very sticky.
Edd was recovering from hysterics by the end of his chores. Sure, it all started as a small giggle that he suppressed, but then it turned into laughter that he just couldn't get control of. While sweeping up the last bit from the floor of the kitchen, he wondered briefly if someday looking at messes will make him nostalgic. He toyed with the idea of going to a dump someday and finding his most valued memories there of all places!
Exhausted, he collapsed onto the couch. He looked around the room, there were no traces of anything happening that day. Suddenly remembering, he put a latex glove on his right hand and reached under the cushion. He pulled out a sub sandwich. He went to the kitchen to throw it away and then returned to the couch.
It just wouldn't have been a perfect day with his friends without a perfect mess.
End
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This story is kind of based off when I went to my dad's house a couple of days after Thanksgiving. He started talking about cleaning up after us all and I felt kind of bad for leaving all of that mess for him to clean up on his own. Then he said that he actually enjoyed cleaning because he was thinking about the fun things that happened that evening and how much he enjoyed our company. I figured that would be a sort of Edd-ish thing too.
Anyways, this is my first story as a high school graduate. So… hurrah! It's short, but you know what? I don't care! HA!
…okay, I'm done here.