A/N: The letter was inspired by, and meant to go with, the song "With You In Your Dreams" by Hanson. I do not own this song or the lyrics.
Shortly after Sirius Black fell through the Veil, the specifications of his will were carried out. One of the bequests was a letter, never dated, that was delivered to Remus Lupin. Lupin never shared the contents of this letter with anyone.
Dearest Remmie,
If you're reading this, I'm no longer with you, among the living. Hopefully, we were able to grow old and grey together. However, knowing us and all the horrible things we've been through and have yet to see, it was probably much sooner than that. And knowing me, it was probably in some amazingly heroic feat of bravery and daring. And knowing you, you probably don't find that last sentence as funny as I meant it to be. I know you're always telling me that I need to serious sometimes. And while I'd normally reply that I'm always Sirius, I promise I'll try this time. For you.
I'm not sure what I was going to write when I started this. I don't really know what to say. What do you say in something like this? I suppose the most important thing that I want you to know is that the time that I spent with you, James, Lily and Peter – with you especially – was the best time in my life. I never thought that I would be so happy. I never could've even imagined having people that I care about so much. James may have been the brother that I'd always wanted, but you, Remus, were the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know how to thank you. You saved me so many times from so many things. Most importantly, you saved me from myself – from what I could've become. And from what I once was.
You always said that you could never thank us enough for helping you every month. I always meant it when I said that you didn't have to. I always felt – well, I still feel that nothing I could do for you would ever make up for all that you did for me. And seriously (haha Sirius-ly) very little could compare to the feeling I got from running alongside you in the moonlight, being there to hold you after you woke up, helping bandage your injuries. I hope that at some point in our lives I was able to do something to show you how much you mean to me. Maybe my heroic feat saved your life. That's all I can think of that would match my feelings. I would gladly die for you. Though, that's still selfish – I couldn't live without you, Remmie. I wouldn't even want to try.
Speaking of being selfish, there's something I wanted to ask of you. Please don't cry. I never want you to cry and I especially don't want you to cry when I'm not there to comfort you. This isn't goodbye, Rem. Remember me. I'm always with you – in your dreams, in your memories, and, even though my body is gone, I'll be by your side for the rest of your hopefully ridiculously long life.
It's arrogant of me to assume (would I be me if I wasn't a little arrogant in this letter?), but I don't want you to cry for me. It's also hypocritical of me, because I know I wouldn't be able stop crying if I ever lost you. Live your life without me and be happy. I want to see smiles when I check in on you. I know you won't disappoint me – you never have.
Remmie, please remember me. Remember that nothing can keep us apart for long, not even death.
And remember that I love you and I always will.
All the love I have to give is yours,
Sirius
After reading this letter, and surely disappointing Sirius with his tears, he put the letter away, only to take it out and reread it many times throughout the rest of his life. Sirius was truly with him until the day he died, through his sadness and his joy, in his memories and in his dreams.
A/N: I tried to put the letter text in something that would look like Sirius's handwriting (Monotype Corsiva or Mistral), but wouldn't transfer it. It did look really cool though... I hope you liked it!
