Ain't No Way
Chapter One
(Hey, You Know the Deal! I don't own Naruto and Never Will! If I did, Haku'd be Alive and Hot after Neji!)
"Come on, Hyuuga, it's Mardi Gras, you gotta come! Everyone'll be there! The best roadtrip ever!" Naruto protested across the phone. I drummed my fingers on the counter of the coffee shop I worked in, watching as an old lady lumbered towards me on a cane. "Hold on a second, Uzamaki. How may I help you?" "I don't want anything!" Naruto shouted, and I guess the lady heard him because she shook her head and mumbled about loud-mouthed imbeciles. "I wasn't talking to you!" I placed my cell phone on the counter, it on speaker since there was no one here besides the customer and two other employees. "Ma'am, how may I help you?" She smiled, "I'll like one black coffee, cream and one sugar." I smiled, "Coming right-" "No, you should want a Tequila shot on Bourbon Street! Hey, lady, shouldn't he come to New Orleans with us!?" The woman stared at the phone, placing her hand to heer bosom, "And just how old are you boys?" I rolled my eyes and turned to begin making her order as Naruto and her conversed. "I'm eighteen and so is he! We're old enough, we're ready!" "Honey, that's no place for young folk. I lived there when I was young, got all that stuff: Drinking, Black Magic, Vampires. Y'all should be somewhere studyin'!" I put her coffee onto the counter as she handed the money over. "Aw vamps dont's exist! You don't know what you're shi-" I hurried and took the phone off speaker and put it to my ear. "Don't say that to her!" I hissed. "I could be fired!" "Well, you need to learn how to have fun! Come on!" It got silent for a moment. The lady still stood in front of me as though she were waiting for my answer. "Gaara's coming." My eyes bugged, "So! What's that suppose to mean!" Naruto laughed, "I know you can't think about him without getting hot and both-" "Shutup!" The old lady shook her head and sipped her drink as though this were some episode of 'Oprah'. "The way his sea foam eyes watch you from afa-" "Knock it off!" I could feel my face blushing. "And the way his pale hands gr-" "Ok! I'll go, damn it!" "Watch your mouth,-" She scanned for my name tag. "Neji!" I clapped my hand to my forehead, defeated. "When are you all going?" "We're leaving this Saturday! It's a week long thing, so take off for next week as sick leave!" I nodded, "Ok, ok." "Alright! Now, do you have Shikamaru's number? I've got to convince him!" I gave him the sleepy Nara's number and hung up. I was surprised to still see the lady there. "You need something else?" I asked. She shook her head slowly and raised her hand to rub her wrinkled temples. "Son, I aint's trying to stop you and your pals from ya fun, but New Orleans ain't gone leave ya'll even when ya'll leave it. It's a place that sticks with ya like a shadow from a street lamp. Be careful. And," her voice changed from a warning tone to that of flustered granny, "watch out for those girlies who flash themselves, oh, and pick pocketers and carpet baggers at the hotel you stay at!" I nodded, "Yes,er, ma'am." She smiled,"Have fun!"
"Hyuuga, come on! I called shotgun and Hinata's driving 'cause she knows the way better than any of us! So you got to get in the back with the other's, and Chouji just at a bean burrito!" Saturday morning had come quick, and it was way to early (Seven o'clock early) for Naruto to be yelling. "I'm coming, dang it," I mumbled lugging my suitcase downstairs and out the door. I got to the mini-van rented and threw my luggage into the trunk, slamming it shut. "I-is everything unplugged, N-neji?" Hinata stammered behind the steering wheel as I squeezed into the backseat. "Yeah," I replied. "Woohoo! Let's get going! Here we come, Louisiana!" "Shutup, Uzamaki!" Shikamaru drawled, face stuck on the window. Chouji sat, straining to keep his gas in, Ino kept texting,Gaara glared out the window because he kept getting vexed by a hyper-active Lee, Hinata looks nervous and Naruto kept babbling. And I- thougt about how I'd be in this van with them from Virginia to New Orleans for the next how-ever-many-hours. Yippee. "We are off!" Naruto shouted, Hinata revved the engine, and we were, indeed, off down the road.
About eight hours later, we were in a town somewhere in Alabama asking for directions at a gas station. "No! New Orleans! Where is it from Birmingham!" Naruto was yelling through his cell phone, it lacking on good reception. "Iruka, you need a hearing-aid!" He flipped his phone closed and pouted, "What if we're stranded here and kidnapped by dirty truckers?" Gaara grumbled, "You first." "Hey!" the blonde yelled. Gaara smirked as Ino hit his arm and told him how that was a good one. I rolled my eyes, "Guys, come on. Let's go inside, it's cold out here!" I zipped my jacket up to my neck. "Yeah, I need to buy a few snacks and a roll of tums," Chouji agreed and began to waddled towards the entrance of the small gas station. Shikamaru had never gotten out of the van, mumbling on how gas stations were 'troublesome'. I would've stayed in with him, but I really had to use the bathroom. We all filed into the small filler station, it smelling of pork rines, beer, smoke and water. An old man stood behind the counter, a mask over his face. I could've sworn the robber should have one on, not the clerk. "How are ya'll kids? Headin' down to New Orleans, ain't ya?" the gray man asked. "Yeah!" Naruto nodded quickly. "You know the way?" "Lemme see..." the others, besides Chouji and I, gathered around the counter, listening for the clerks directions. I went towards the back, looking to see if a restroom was here. It was, and, surpirsingly, it had stalls, only two, which was amazing for such a small place. I went to one stall, but it seemed to be jammed, and the other had someones feet showing, so I waited by the sinks. The toliet flushed, and a-guy?- a few inches shorter than me walked out. He had large brown eyes and hair that stopped at his mid-back, not beating mines, though, and his dark jeans adorned with various chains dragged against the tile. He looked at me and quirked a brow. "I didn't blow it up in there, if that's what ya lookin' at me fo'." I was surprised at his accent because it sounded-different, I'd never heard it before. "Sorry, but I didn't catch that." I moved over so he could wash his hands. "Oh, ya don't understand, what do ya'll call it: "slang"?" "No, I know what you meant, but, your accent-" "Accent? Well, it ain't much of an accent, but I'm from New Orleans. Just came from Manhattan from business. Name's Haku." Ok, there were a few things I felt seemed- odd: (1)Haku? That's more Japanese than...Lousianian?(2)Business? This guy had to be about six or seventeen. And (3)Ain't? Fo'? What the Hell? "Hey? Ya heard me? We ya headin' at?" 'Haku' seemed to be closer now. "Er, well my friends and I are heading to New Orleans. You know, for Mardi Gras?" A smile spread across his face and showed perfect white teeth. Two seemed a bit longer, but maybe he had to get them shaved down. (A/N: My aunt did that to her teeth, so yeah,I know what I'm talking about even if you don't! :P) "Well, of course I know where 'dat at. Just go ahead and take a piss, and I'll give ya friends some directions." I nodded, "Thanks." He shrugged, "No problem." He went to the door but stopped with his hand on the handle, "But..." He turned to me as I was going into the stall, "Could you and ya friends help me wit' somethin'?" "Sure...?" I said. "Well, out there, my ca' broke down. Could ya'll gimme a ride? I won't be no trouble." He smirked. "I shrugged, "Sure." He tilted his head, "Thanks." He left out, and I went in to "take a piss". You meet some weird people at gas stations.