Chapter 1
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? I didn't even think that it was possible. Until last
night..
I was on AIM talking to my best guy friend, Andrew, around 10:30pm having a great
time. We were laughing about how he acted like a cow today in school. It was right after a test
when he accidentally bumped into somebody and the jerk called him a cow. He made a face, and mooed. Everyone was laughing, even Mrs. Blakey, the teacher. Then I took one of my sticky
notes and wrote "I Am Cow" and put it on his grass-green shirt. That made my day.
Andrew knows everything about me. I've only known him for about two months,
considering I just moved to Atlanta. It's crazy, but a good kind of crazy. He knows about how
my dad drinks. How my bi-polar brother is in the Marines. How I've lost respect for my dad.
How my mom is dying as we speak. How my parents are continuously fighting. Like I said, he's
my best guy friend.
I know stuff about him too, like why he's shy, and that he's made fun of a lot. How he
has scars from three years ago from a guy kicking him. He's my only friend in Atlanta that knows
about my life. Him, and his twin sister, Ally. But I feel like I can trust Andrew more, I don't
know why.
So, as I was saying. We were talking on AIM when my mom and dad started fighting
again. He was drunk, no surprise there. But he's been getting drunk more often lately. I've only
cried about family crap once, when I was six and my dad slapped my mom and started cursing in
front of me. My brother took me to my room and calmed me down, but I was six, but I couldn't
stop crying. I didn't know any better. So with my parents fighting daily, it scares me. I don't want
to be like every other family, their parents being divorced.
Stephiexoxo: their fighting again andrew :(
ANitsDrew: :( im sorry
ANitsDrew: this is how I felt when my parents were fighting
Stephiexoxo: cant I make them stop??
ANitsDrew: I wish
stephiexoxo: :'(
ANintsDrew: don't cry! Don't make me be cow again
stephiexoxo: lol, its hard not to. They've never fought much, it scares me
ANitsDrew: OMG look! I'm a cow :D
ANitsDrew: but I drink milk...
ANitsDrew: so I guess I'm a cannibalistic cow?
Stephiexoxo: lol :) this is why you're my best friend
ANitsDrew: why
ANitsDrew: cause im so awesome? Lol
stephiexoxo: sure, lets go with that ;)
I logged off AIM happy after the cow bit. I went downstairs to get a glass of milk, and I
started chuckling to myself. "Milk...cow... I'm about to drink Andrew! Ahh!"
"Stephanie, don't drink the milk!" my dad slurred at me while coming inside, stumbling. "Why can't I?"
"Cause its for me not you!" he screamed at me. I put the milk down on the counter.
"She can have the milk if she wants, Lucas!" my mom yelled at my defense.
I picked up the milk again. My dad glared at me and I put it back down and backed away.
The next few minutes flew by. All I remember was a lot of cursing from my dad. I ran upstairs after five minutes of watching them fight. I instantly logged on AIM to see if Andrew was on. He wasn't, of course it was getting late. He's probably asleep.
Crash.
I ran outside my room and half way down the stairs. The family picture that my mom's family has passed down when my great-great-great-great grandmother was alive was on the wood floor, the glass spread everywhere. My mom's eyes were filled with tears. She went to grab it but dad pushed mom back. He picked the picture up and tore it. Little squares were falling to the floor, along with my mom's tears. That was the only picture left of it, no copies. "Why, Lucas? Why did you do that?" she asked my dad, scared what might happen. I felt my eyes fill up like mom's.
"Cause I wanted to. We don't need that shit in my house."
My mom went to the stairs, so I backed up to where she wouldn't see me. My dad pushed
her, and she fell. It's bad enough she would've fallen because of her Arthritis, but this was just
uncanny. She started crying even harder, it sounded like her knee went out of place.
I ran to my room and locked the door. I ran to my bed, and passed the picture of my older brother, who was over in Iraq. Thinking of who to call, I thought of my other brother, who's 19 and lives with his fiancé in South Carolina, where I used to live. I took my cell phone, and dialed the number. My eyes were so filled with tears, and I couldn't even see what I was typing in. I ended up calling the wrong number twice, but I finally got it.
"Matt? It's dad. He just pushed mom on the stairs, and she's screaming.... I know, but it's
scaring me.... Mkay... I love you." I hung up, and wiped my tears from my eyes, and from my
phone. I glanced at the clock. 11:07pm. I silently crept outside of my room. My mom was laying
on the couch with an ice pack on her knee. I started going downstairs.
"Steph?" Crap, she saw me.
"Yeah?" I sniffed.
"Are you okay?"
"Um, yeah. What about you?"
"I'll be okay. Dad's in the room, hopefully asleep soon. I'm sleeping down here tonight.
You need to go to sleep, darling. You have school tomorrow. I love you," she shooed me off.
I went upstairs, still sniffling, trying not to cry. I slipped in my pj's and went to my
window seat. I looked at the time, 11:10pm. I thought of a wish for 11:11. Yes, I wish on 11:11.
I looked at the clock until it turned to 11:11. I looked at the first star I could find for extra luck.
They were beautiful tonight.
I closed my eyes. I wish my life would get better. I don't care how, just please, please
make my life better. I crawled into bed, starting to cry a bit, looking back at today. Tonight was
the worst night since I was six. Either that, or when I moved. Nah, when I was six.