Untitled Document
Linger
by Simone

Disclaimer: I do not own blablabla... don't sue ok? I am just having my angst party time! The song is "Linger" from The Cramberries.

This is Buffy P.O.V. of Sanctuary.
Author's note: I know... Buffy was a real bitch with Angel in Sanctuary, but have you stopped to think over the whole plot? She was really unhappy with Riley.. all she said to Angel was in self defense. Believe me: Been there, done that!
I would like to dedicate this fiction to... Nicola, who was the 1st person to say "I wish I speak portuguese to read your stories.." here you have little sister.
I would like to thank my ex... if he were still with me I would not have been doing this webstuff... so, as Kate uses to sing in Iggy Pop's "Candy" I am glad you get out, but I miss you.
Thanks to all my beta readers for their loving and support. Leticia, Joyce, Jennifer & Jonathan. Love you all.

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She was thinking... yeah, she could walk and think and walk at the same time. She could do anything she wanted. The only thing she couldn't do was to kiss Riley and miss Angel at the same time. Buffy started to walk faster as she was getting closer to Angel Investigations' building. She was not that sure about her love for Riley, and she had to see Angel one more time. The last time she was in L.A. with him still seemed confused, and once Gilles told her that Faith was in L.A. with Angel, she though that it might be a good time.

As she run down the stairs, she could see Faith... seating in Angel's bed... being holded by his arms.

If you, if you could return,
Don't let it burn,
Don't let it fade.
I'm sure I'm not being rude,
But it's just your attitude.
It's tearing me apart,
it's ruining ev'rything.


She could not believe what she saw. It was like someone crushing her only dream of eternity, smashing it with cruelty. Buffy looked at them, and even though her brains told her to stay calm she acted exactly the other way around. She could not help but letting out a small cry of surprise.

Angel: It's not what you think.

Buffy: You actually think I could form a thought right now?

I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey, so did you.
So, why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep.

In fact, she could form a lot of toughts.. they were running through her head, and for one moment she felt just like Drusilla, like voices talking to her all the time. Suddenly she heard Angel asking her about what she was doing in L.A. and she figured out that they had lost one more chance, maybe their last chance. When she finally spoke this was all she could say:

Buffy: Giles heard that...that she tried to kill you.

Angel: That's true.

Buffy: So you decided to punish her with a severe cuddling.

Angel: Is that why you're here? To punish her?

Buffy: I was worried about you.

You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger,ah ,ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to,
Do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

"Of course - she thought - what a stupid thing to say... I was worried about you. As if he cared a lot. As if he was not having a fun time in L.A. among demons and ... Faith." Buffy felt a sudden wave of rage raising in her body, she felt hot and she couldn't say if it was because Angel was near her or if it was because he had been too near to Faith. At this moment, as if she was feeling Buffy's thoughts, Faith standed up and started to talk:

Faith: Buffy. I'm so--

Buffy: You apologize to me, I will beat you to death

The heat was now all over her body. She was expecting Angel's reaction, but it was not the reaction she needed. It was so muddled, she heard Angel saying something like "Not in my city" but she was already heading in Faith's direction, she wanted to kick her ass, to beat her, smash her hands, the hands that had dared to touch her man, her soulmate, her only love. At that moment, if someone asked her about Riley, she wouldn't even remember who he were. Then, Angel got in her way, and without thinking, she hit him, eager to get to Faith. And he hit her back.

Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought that nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong.
I was wrong.

Buffy: You hit me.

Angel: Not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first. In case you've forgotten, you're a little bit stronger than I am.

These words hurted more than the punch that he gave her. Angel's words always had the power to change her life. From bad to good and vice versa. He was being ironic with her, and all because of Faith.

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you.

Angel: I know Faith did some bad things to you.

Buffy: You can't possibly know.

Angel: You can't possibly know what she's going through.

Buffy: But of course you do. I'm sorry. I can't be in your club. I've never murdered anyone.

But I'm in so deep.
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to,
Do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

Then, the Watcher's Council arrived, and Faith run to the rooftop, and the last thing Buffy could remember was that she run after her, only to protect her because Angel asked her to. Buffy was protecting the woman who had traded bodies with her, tried to kill her, to steal her boyfriend... and she was doing that only because of Angel. Always because of Angel. And then, in the middle of all the mess that was happening around them, he appeared, like a dark avenger, fast, precise, her man. And he stoped the battle, and Buffy was so absorved by him, by the love that she felt every time she was near to Angel that she could barely notice that Faith was not there anymore, and she could not define if it made her happy or sad, cause Angel was looking at her, with that interrogation look in his eyes, and she simply could not answer him. At least not with the right answer.. she could have said: yes... I love you. But he would not have listened her, just like he had not listened the million times she whispered that in her dreams, the times she was with Riley telling him the words that belonged to Angel only. No.. he would not listen to her, not anymore.

Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought that nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong.
I was wrong.
And I'm in so deep.

And then, a blond woman appeared, and she arrested Angel taking him to the LAPD, talking about giving him a beautiful place with a view to the east... to the sun. As Buffy prepared herself to defend him, they saw Faith ... she was there to talk to the police, and to get Angel free. Once again, Buffy felt mad, angry, jealous. It was Faith and not Buffy who had saved Angel's life. It doesn't matter the previous times, for Buffy this time was the more important... this last time. From out of nowhere she and Angel started to discuss, and she told him the worst thing she could think about, the worst lie she had ever told:

Buffy: I have someone in my life now. That I love. It's not what you and I had. It's very new. You know what makes it new? I trust him. I know him.

And heard back an answer that would haunt her for the rest of her life...

Angel: That's great. It's nice. You moved on. I can't. You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again, it cuts me up inside. And the person I share that with is me. You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home.

And, as happens all the times that she can not thing straight,she opened her mouth just to regret what she spoke last:

Buffy: See? Faith wins again.

Angel: Go.

You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to,
Do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

And, in a deep silence, she turned away quickly, in order to avoid Angel to see her tears. She run downstairs and headed back to Sunnydale, to Riley's arms, to her black and white so-called normal life. She had slayed her last loving demon.

+The End+