I quite enjoy nighttime. To me, the darkness is calming. The day is over, and I made it through. The last rays of sunshine fall below the ground, hiding away until tomorrow, and with it goes all of the bad experiences from the day. With the darkness comes the ability to prepare for the next day. Within hours, a new day will begin, signaled by the sun showing its beautiful face to the world. All events of the last day mean nothing in comparison to the events to come.
In order to keep my sanity, I've made myself think this about the sunrise and the sunset. I'm still not fully convinced. The day with new opportunities has supposedly been on its way for about three years and there's still no sign that it's on its way. That day could be in a few weeks, it could be three more years down the line, or it could never come at all. So far, though, it's been the same routine every day with no significant changes. I don't know how to feel about that.
While I can find comfort in the darkness of the night, I also find many unanswered questions. These can range anywhere from "How late is it?" to "Do I even want to get up tomorrow?" Of course, tonight is much of the same. Since tomorrow is the first day back to school for the semester, I was also thinking about other school-related topics. "Who would my teachers be? What classes am I going to have? Who's going to be in my classes? Is anyone going to try to hurt me?"
School in general has always been somewhat uncomfortable for me. As much as I love learning new material whenever it comes up, I never really cared for the structure that school creates. In a classroom setting, I can't learn as well because I'm always thinking about some standard I have to conform to. My feelings of dread about the learning environment are amplified when everyone in the room hates my guts, which has been the case for every single class I've been in for the last three years. If I'm honestly stuck on a concept, I can only really ask the teacher after class is over. I can't rely on my peers to help, and the teachers aren't usually willing to help out other students until the lecture is over, which lasts from bell to bell. Even if other toons didn't absolutely despise me, I probably still wouldn't go to them for help because I can't trust very many of them myself. Is it normal? Maybe a little. Is it healthy? Absolutely not.
I head over to my writing desk, which is just a normal wooden desk you would expect to see in a lot of homes. The top drawer in the front is where I keep a few notebooks, a lot of pencils, two erasers, a sharpener, and assorted pens in black, red, and blue ink. I open this drawer and pull out the green notebook, which I tend to use as a thought dump. Since I can't really talk to anybody about my feelings, I prefer to write them down rather than bottle it up. I sit down in the wooden chair, which is already pulled away from the desk for me. I sharpen one of the many pencils I have rolling around inside the desk, open to a clean sheet in the back of the notebook, and begin writing.
I go back to hell tomorrow. There's no doubt that they still believe her lies after three years. And why wouldn't they? Everyone knows her and loves her. Nobody ever really knew me. Of course they would take her word over mine. If anyone doubted her, they would have at least made an effort to talk to me by now. Will anyone ever doubt her? I doubt it. She knew what she was doing.
I put the pencil down and close the notebook, putting it back into the top compartment. Upon turning off all of the lights, I walk over to my bed and get comfortable. The time is 01:28AM. It's far too early to be trying to stay up, so I make sure my alarms are set and doze off.
…
The alarm did its job, as I open my eyes and see "06:02AM" on the clock. I'm awake with not a lot of time to spare, but I still don't want to get up. If I shut off the alarms, I'll be here a while. The bed is better than any classroom desk or chair, though. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I'd certainly feel less lonely because I won't be expected to talk to anyone, but it's the first day of the new semester. I can't really afford to skip now. Reluctantly, I shut off the alarm, sit up, stretch, and get out from under the covers.
After getting done with the absolute essentials, I locate my bookbag. It's what you'd expect from a typical high school student: a bag that's able to hold the necessary supplies, but not necessarily attractive. It's a light blue bag with some yellow surrounding the zippers. There's nothing in the bag currently, but after today, it will likely have two or three textbooks, four folders, and two reams of paper. Luckily, no homework, since it will be the first day.
I go ahead and pick the bag up and put it on my back. I grab the red notebook from my desk along with another pencil that's already been sharpened. It's already almost 06:30, so I don't waste any more time. I head for the front door and walk outside.
Although it's early January, it actually feels quite nice outside. It's not too cold, thankfully, and I'm just in time to catch the first rays of sunshine strike the ground beneath my feet. As I walk down the steps to the stone walkway, a slight breeze blows in my face. I take in the delightful weather as I walk to the end of the walkway, where I wait for my bus yet again.
Before long, I see the familiar yellow vehicle making its way toward me. It makes its normal turn into the street before my stop, where it picks up all of the toons from the apartments. Unfortunately for me, this means that I can no longer focus on any sort of writing, which requires all of my attention. Just another minor inconvenience that I have to put up with.
In just another minute or two, the bus turns back onto the main road and makes its way back to my house. As soon as it stops, the driver opens the door and allows me in, although those inside wish he wouldn't. Come on, Loopy, I think to myself. You'll be fine. It's only the first day. I take my seat, not stopping to acknowledge the numerous glares from a significant portion of those currently seated. I don't know who half of them are, so why should I care?