Title: Secret

Author: Vona

Rating: PG

Pairing: Not really a pairing kind of story, but it's about Jake and Haley.

Summary: Set after Life as a Glass House.  Jake's POV.  Jake thinks about his baby girl and Haley shows up after being requested to help Jake by Coach Durham.

Secret

I'll never forget the day she told me.  I hadn't seen her for a month, not since we'd broken up.  She was from Woodbury, the town over from ours.  I don't think anyone from Tree Hill even knew about her.  I don't exactly have a lot of close friends here; just people I know from the basketball team or from my classes.  Her name was Charisma.  She was absolutely stunning.  I really did fall madly, deeply in love with her.  We broke up because we were millions of miles apart, so different from each other.  It wasn't one of those dramatic break ups, just an end of a relationship.  It was easier to get over her because I never saw her.  But that day, she drove down to Tree Hill in her BMW.  I was completely shocked to find her on my front porch and even more surprised to see the seriousness on her face.  She'd always been so lighthearted.  She didn't try to fluff the news she had to give me.  She didn't even set me up for it.  She probably had no idea how to deal with it.  She blurted out to me, "I'm pregnant."

That was it.  Just two words that changed my entire life.  I stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality, was probably a few seconds.  In reality.  That's ironic.  The entire situation seemed surreal to me.  I told my parents next.  They gave me the we're-extremely-disappointed-in-your-actions speech.  I was lucky they didn't kick me out of the house.

            I don't think Charisma's parents took the news as well as mine did.  They were probably outraged at their little girl.  She came to me in tears and told me she was going to give the baby up for adoption.  She wanted to be able to go back to her normal, 'important' life.  I couldn't let her give the baby up for adoption.  This baby had two parents that were capable of caring for it.  So I told Charisma I would take the baby after it was born.  She agreed.

            She was born on September 23 at 4:31 in the morning.  She was perfect in everyway, even if she was a complete secret in my life.  We named her Breeze Alecksandra McKay.  I'd debated telling Lucas about her because I figured if anyone, he would understand.  I never did, though.  I didn't know if it would bring back these horrible memories for him or ruin our tentative friendship by this huge burden I'd be placing on him.  I did tell Coach Durham.  I wasn't going to be able to make all the practices and games now.  I had something more important in my life now, someone more important.  Breeze was the perfect baby.  She didn't cry often, mostly slept.  I couldn't understand how Charisma could let this precious person out of her sight.  I will always let Charisma visit Breeze, even be in her life if Charisma so chose.  She never even called to see if Breeze made it home okay.  Maybe Charisma wasn't as wonderful as I thought she was.  As innocently perfect Breeze was, my grades still dropped.  I focused on my daughter, not my schoolwork.  I would have quit basketball if I didn't need the scholarship for college.  I wanted to be able to go on to a college so I could get a job that would provide for Breeze.  Lucky for me, Whitey was flexible.  I think he was almost proud that I was taking responsibility for my actions.  How could I not?  I saw my baby girl and her tiny fingers wrapped around my heart and still haven't let go.

            I lay in bed this morning, shortly after my alarm blared from my nightstand.  Breeze typically slept through it, so I didn't have to get up yet.  I could hear her soft breathing and her baby cough.  I couldn't help but think about how much my life had changed.  I used to be a usual teenage boy with the usual stresses of adolescence.  One mistake-no, not a mistake- one decision changed everything.  Instead of thinking about girls in general, I thought about one girl.  She was one month old and the most important thing in my entire life.  The doorbell rang, jarring me from my thoughts and Breeze from her slumber.  I lifted her from her bassinet and cradled her in my arms.  My parents were already at work, so I was the only one home.  That meant I had to answer the door.  I couldn't leave Breeze behind, so I wrapped her in a yellow woolen blanket and walked down the stairs.  I opened the door and found Hayley James standing there.  She jumped when she heard Breeze's wail and a flicker of understanding crossed her face.

"Hey, Jake.  I'm Hayley James, Lucas' friend.  Some of your teachers were worried about your grades, so they asked me to tutor you.  I thought I'd stop by and see when a good time would be."

She hesitated, unsure of what to do next.

"Come on in, Hayley."

I didn't know what to say to her.  I don't have any time to study.  Hayley stepped inside, shutting the door behind her, blocking out the cold winter.  "What's her name?"

She asked it softly and by the look on her face, I could tell she thought she was prying.

"Breeze.  She's a little over a month old."

Hayley lifted her arms out for Breeze and I reluctantly gave her up.  Amazingly, Breeze cuddled right into Hayley.

"I've been taking her to my aunt's house during school.  I pick her up right after school and take care of her from there.  I don't have time to be tutored, but thanks for the offer."

"Jake, I can help you.  I can work my schedule around yours and you've got a free baby-sitter on game nights and stuff."

A bitter feeling washed over me.  Why couldn't Charisma feel that way about Breeze?  Maybe it was because Hayley can always give Breeze back to me when she was tired of her.  I hated that I was being so harsh when Hayley was being so generous.  I looked up and saw that Hayley was rocking Breeze and she seemed to enjoy it very much.

"All right.  If you really want to help me, who am I to stop you?"

Hayley grinned brightly and I realized how perfectly she smiled.  No wonder Lucas was best friends with her.

"I could get her ready while you get dressed for school."

I knew that Breeze seemed comfortable with her, so I agreed.  "Thanks."  I led her up to my room and handed her a pink jumper out of the drawer.  It looked remotely out of place in my room, only the lacey bassinet and changing table making the room look more feminine.  I left them to take a quick shower. 

When I returned, Hayley had Breeze dressed and giggling girlishly. 

"I won't tell, Jake, if you're worried."  She said it before I entered the room.  It was kind of abrupt and I wondered if she thought I'd been concerned.

"I know."

"People are going to figure out you have a child.  I know Tree Hill is slow sometimes, but come on, it's going to become kind of obvious when she's running around town."

I smiled a little.  "I'll tell people eventually.  I just…I've seen what this town has done to Lucas.  I've seen the way he's been treated and the way Ms. Roe has been treated.  I don't want that to happen to me and Breeze.  Lucas and Ms. Roe didn't deserve it and Breeze and I don't deserve it."

I paused, not even knowing why I was spilling my feelings to a complete stranger.  It felt good talking to someone, a sort of catharsis.  She didn't judge me and she wasn't angry with me, like my parents are.  To some degree, I trusted Hayley.  She won't go around town, telling everyone about this conversation.

"Well, there are a few things you left out, Jake.  Lucas and Karen have each other.  I've never seen a mother and a son as close as they are.  Karen has Keith and don't forget that Lucas has this wonderfully charming best friend, so I don't think their life turned out so badly.  I don't think they do, either.  Roll with it, Jake.  You have a beautiful little child who is going to grow up to adore her Daddy.  She has grandparents who will love her, I'm sure.  And don't forget that Breeze will have her Auntie Hayley to help her out and beat up all the people who are cruel to you."

I sent a silent thanks to the teachers that sent Hayley James my way.  Speaking of, I wondered who did.

"Which teachers sent you?"

"Did I say teachers?" She beamed charmingly.  "I meant Coach Durham sent me."

I had a feeling Coach sent Hayley to me more for my emotional stability than my academic stability.  I took Breeze from her and kissed the baby powdery scented forehead.

"I know you're right.  I'll tell Lucas first, then some of the others will find out about her.  I'm not ashamed of Breeze.  I want you to understand that."

"I do know.  I'll let you go on to your aunt's house.  I've distracted you enough.  I'll see you at school."

She stood, putting on her coat and messenger bag.

"You want a ride?"

She shrugged.  "Only if you promise to get me there on time.  I've never had detention and I don't intend to let a tardy mar my perfect record."

I couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling over.  I hadn't laughed at anything but Breeze for several months.  Maybe Hayley would be good for me.  And Breeze.

"It's a deal."