Edit. June 2018
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man.
The dream's lament
Grey eyes looked at the picture of a young girl. One that appeared to be no older than 13 years old. Skinny and short, dressed in a white blouse and a purple skirt and black shoes. Her dark-greyish skin and spiky blue hair made her a rather unique little girl. With piercing golden eyes, Road Kamelot stared back at him.
Capable of creating alternate dimensions to trap people, and play with their minds, Road Kamelot was a rather dangerous individual. She wanted to see her enemies bleed, to hear them scream until their voices were gone. Cunning and sadistic, you would make the worst mistake to underestimate her young appearance and floating candles.
Yes, young in appearance, but old in human years. And so lonely.
Her dear family, who had been slaughtered by the 14th, were gone and replaced with new Apostles. She had laughed and played with them, only to have them taken away in one single night. She might have a new family now, but he was also sure Road still felt the pain losing the last generation of Noah.
Because despite of having more people like her, they were not the same ones she had interacted with all those years ago. They might be Noah, but none of them would understand what it was to live as many years as she had. The Earl probably could, but he was always busy traveling around the world searching for tragedies to create new Akumas.
She was trapped in the body of a small girl, when she was older and more mature. While it was true that she tended to act childish - sadism aside - maybe that demeanor was only a defense mechanism. Maybe she was just tired of being seen and treated as a child; no matter what she did, she would never change, she would never grow. Perhaps, after all those years, she simply stopped trying to be an adult.
He wondered how long had she been like that?
As far as the Order's archives went, she had been present for at least 35 years. All the way back to when the Earl and the Clan of Noah had been betrayed by the 14th. She was still the same, but her family and the rest of the world weren't.
He wondered if the same would happen to him with the Noah memories he was given. He wondered if he would too, be trapped in a 16-year-old body while everyone else grew old and eventually died.
Allen Walker had never thought about eternal life. He had never wanted it, never asked for and he wonder what it felt like to be immortal.
To walk around the Earth not aging as time passed by. To watch civilizations rise and fall, and see all technological advances of human kind. To see the world change around you, but stay always the same. To watched everyone, he cared about leave for Paradise while he stayed behind, forever trapped in a cage.
It seemed like a lonely life.
Yes, he had no doubt that Road Kamelot was a rather lonely individual.
Because despite being a sadist and a member of the Clan of Noah, she was still a human, no matter what everyone in the Order said about it. The Noah were humans too, and just like any other pathetic and simple human, they could still feel pain and loneliness. And Road Kamelot had no one from her old life, but the Earl and he doubted he was around much.
Allen was sure that behind that scary exterior she wore, was a lonely and sad girl. Someone that wanted to reunite with her long gone family, someone that once had been a young girl with hopes and dreams… someone who had her future taken away from her.
The Order and all its members had never taken a moment to try and understand their enemies. It was true that the Earl and Clan of Noah were always causing chaos and destruction around the world and many people had died at their hands. That they let the Akuma wander free causing terror and tragedies as they move.
But the Order didn't know anything about them, never even try to understand them.
Where do they come from? How long has it been since they walked the Earth? Why were they so bent on destroying humanity?
He wondered if maybe, Road, the Earl and the other Noah had been cursed just like him. Given memories that weren't their own. Having been gifted with the immortality they didn't asked for. To walk around the world as destroyers, just like Hevlaska had predicted for him. To cry at night, begging for freedom to a God that didn't listen to them.
Yes, Road Kamelot was cursed as well.
She had been cursed with living in immortality and seeing her family being slaughter all those years ago.
She had been cursed into becoming part of the Noah family, which were more like servants to the Earl with emotions and thoughts than actual family.
She had been cursed with that sadism and cruelty.
She had done many atrocious things in the past, slaughtering Finders, Exorcists, Akuma and most likely innocent people, with her demonic candles. She had laughed as the blood left their bodies and splattered her clothes. She had mocked those who believed in goodness and salvation. She was cruel and ruthless, and was fine with that.
And yet, Allen Walker understood her like he never thought he could.
Because he knew what rage felt like. To hate the world around you and hope that one day all of them would drown in their liquor and their richness.
To mock those around him who believed in kindness.
To scoff as people spoke about hope and God.
To feel the raging envy bubbling on his gut as he watched people with nice clothes and hot meals. As mothers kissed their children on the head, and fathers carry them on their shoulders. As kids cried because their balloon went flying, or their candy fell to the ground.
To make them want to pay for their cruelty. To swear in hatred that one day they would bend on their knees as they beg for his forgiveness, to be spared from his vengeance.
Allen wondered that if Mana hadn't found him, he would had ended up as a serial killer. As a child, he had been so angry at the world that made him an orphan with an unknown origin living in a cold place. But Mana had showed him the goodness of everything in life, and how to smile.
To see the beauty of everything surrounding him. To be grateful to be alive, even if he only had himself to live with.
He wondered if someone had done the same for Road, she would had been different.
To hear her lament and save her from her loneliness. To give her better path to walk through, one where kindness wasn't as abundant as one would like but wasn't missing either. Where you can still find happiness with other people, even though they weren't the ones you started your life with.
But that hadn't happened, and she had done a lot of bad things. Things Allen would never be able to forgive her for it, but…
He knew what if felt like to be misunderstood. He knew what it was like to be treated and seen as a monster. An abomination. A demon.
There was nothing he could do to help her, Road had been tainted enough by Dark Matter and the Earl's ideas, he doubted she would ever listen to anything he had to say. That she would betray the only survivor of her past family, for an Exorcist who carried the memories of the same man that killed everyone she loved.
Yes, there was no way to make her change, but he could see her for who she was. Just like he had wanted people to do when he still went by Red.
He could try to understand her situation, just like he wanted everyone in the Order to do so.
He would try to give her a chance of redemption, just like Cross had given him one when he had turned Mana into an Akuma.
Yes, he could try.
Because even if Road had done many cruel things to him and his fellow Exorcists, she was as lost as he had once been.
Her name was Road Kamelot. Ninth Disciple of the Noah Family. The Dreams of Noah. But she was also a human being trapped in the body of a little girl, who cried for her lost family and her cursed immortality.
Allen would never forgive her, but he hoped that one day she was able to find the freedom she was looking for.
The End.