FINAL FANTASY VII
AUTHORS NOTE: WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF TIFA HAD DIED AT THE HANDS OF SEPHIROTH RATHER THAN AERIS? WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ THIS GODDAMN PIECE O' CRAP AND FIND OUT!
'A Countdown To Sleep'
"Are you actually really sure that it was her voice, Cloud?", asked Tifa.
"I'm positive!", yelled Cloud. "No one else has such a sweet heavenly voice... Uh, apart from you Tifa."
"Well, okay. I believe you Cloud. I just hope she's not in any danger."
Cloud, Tifa and... oooh, let's just say... Barrett, were on their way to the City of the Ancients. They had been searching for Aeris since early morning, and night time had now fallen. They knew it was very dangerous for her to be out wandering the world on her own, but she was convinced that she was the only one who could stop Sephiroth from destroying the planet.
"Cloud! Look, there she is!", Tifa shouted.
Aeris was praying on a stone altar which was surrounded by water.
"What the hell is she doin'?", wondered Barrett.
"It looks like she's praying to God... Maybe she's asking him for a new sports car or something...", Cloud slurred. "Anyway, it's still not safe for her to be here. I'm gonna go bring her back."
Cloud walked toward the stone altar. Barrett ran after him, but Cloud put his hand out to stop him. This was something Cloud had to do alone. He leapt up the round pillars which surfaced from the water below until he eventually reached Aeris. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over him. He drew his sword and held it high above the ancient, and prepared to strike her down.
"Cloud! Stop! What are you doing?!", screamed Tifa and Barrett from the distance.
"Ergh! What are you making me do?!", howled Cloud as he threw his sword to the ground.
Just then, Aeris opened her eyes. She smiled at Cloud, which he took as a good sign. He was sure he'd be in big trouble for messing up her prayer. But then, disaster struck...
"Cloud! Aeris! Look out!", Barrett shouted.
Cloud and Aeris stared up at the sky to see a falling shadow hurtling in their direction. As it drew closer, they could see it was Sephiroth, their sole enemy. He was directly above Aeris, and he had his huge long sword out, ready to pierce through her frail body.
"NO!", shrieked a familiar voice.
All of a sudden, Aeris was pushed aside by her best friend, Tifa Lockheart.
Aeris looked up and couldn't believe her eyes. There was Sephiroth standing in the middle of the altar with his sword embedded into Tifa's stomach. The young woman slumped to the floor, as Sephiroth removed his weapon.
"Oh my God! They killed Tifa!", screamed Aeris.
"You bastard!", yelled Cloud.
"Tifa! No, Tifa! Please, God no!", cried Barrett.
"Hahahahaha! Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of the planets energy and bla bla bla! Anyway, I have an appointment with my dentist! So I'll be seeing *you* later!"
Sephiroth flew off into the air and darted off into the night. The party crowded round Tifa's body.
"Tifa! T-This can't be happening!", Cloud wept.
"It can, and for all you know it is!", flinced Aeris. "Well, now that Sephiroth has gone, I can get on with my prayer. Excuse me, guys."
"Prayer?! Prayer?!", exclaimed Barrett. "One of our fellow party members has just died! And you expect us to just carry on as normal?!"
"Huh? Well, why the hell not?!", laughed Aeris.
"You little...! Have some goddamn respect! Tifa was the nicest, sexiest, hottest, most gorgeous-!"
"Cloud! Cloud! We get the idea!", Barrett interrupted.
"Look, I'm sorry that she's dead, but lets just try to put it all behind us, huh?"
"You-You...! I-I never would have expected this from you Aeris! She was your best friend, dammit!", squarked Cloud.
"What do you want me to do, Cloud?! Start crying and wailing?! Death happens to us all, we learn to live with it!"
"You intergalaxtic hussy, you! Go away! You don't belong here! You're no friend of mine anymore!", Cloud snapped.
"Alright, alright! I'm going!", she snarled. "Barrett, you coming?"
"...No way! Tifa was my buddy too! I ain't about to abandon her!"
"Duh! She dead! How can you abandon someone if they're dead?!", Aeris grunted. "Aw, screw you guys! I'm going home! I shoulda never agreed to come on your depressing adventure anyway!"
Cloud awoke with a start. He was safely tucked into his bed at his villa in the Costa Del Sol. His bedroom door opened and Tifa walked in.
"Cloud, did you have another Aeris nightmare?"
"...Yeah."
"Oh Cloud, I'm really worried about you. You've been having these dreams ever since she died. Maybe I should take you to see a doctor..."
"No! No, I'm okay now. Y'see, I've learned something just now... Aeris wasn't really all that great after all. I mean, you're way better than she ever was!", Cloud smiled. "Losing you... now *that* I couldn't handle."
"Aw, thanks Cloud! Would you like some hot chocolate to help you get back to sleep?"
"That does sound good.", said Cloud as Tifa began to leave the room. "But I'd rather have you help me get back to sleep, if you know what I mean..."
"Oh! Cloud!", Tifa giggled. "I know what you mean!"
She wandered back over to his bed.
"Are you ready for this?", she asked.
"Oh yeah!", Cloud drooled.
"Okay...", Tifa pulled a bedtime story book from Cloud's dresser drawer. "It's time for 'The Gold Chocobo Adventure'!"
"Yippee!", cheered Cloud.
THE END__________
AUTHORS NOTE: WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF TIFA HAD DIED AT THE HANDS OF SEPHIROTH RATHER THAN AERIS? WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ THIS GODDAMN PIECE O' CRAP AND FIND OUT!
'A Countdown To Sleep'
"Are you actually really sure that it was her voice, Cloud?", asked Tifa.
"I'm positive!", yelled Cloud. "No one else has such a sweet heavenly voice... Uh, apart from you Tifa."
"Well, okay. I believe you Cloud. I just hope she's not in any danger."
Cloud, Tifa and... oooh, let's just say... Barrett, were on their way to the City of the Ancients. They had been searching for Aeris since early morning, and night time had now fallen. They knew it was very dangerous for her to be out wandering the world on her own, but she was convinced that she was the only one who could stop Sephiroth from destroying the planet.
"Cloud! Look, there she is!", Tifa shouted.
Aeris was praying on a stone altar which was surrounded by water.
"What the hell is she doin'?", wondered Barrett.
"It looks like she's praying to God... Maybe she's asking him for a new sports car or something...", Cloud slurred. "Anyway, it's still not safe for her to be here. I'm gonna go bring her back."
Cloud walked toward the stone altar. Barrett ran after him, but Cloud put his hand out to stop him. This was something Cloud had to do alone. He leapt up the round pillars which surfaced from the water below until he eventually reached Aeris. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over him. He drew his sword and held it high above the ancient, and prepared to strike her down.
"Cloud! Stop! What are you doing?!", screamed Tifa and Barrett from the distance.
"Ergh! What are you making me do?!", howled Cloud as he threw his sword to the ground.
Just then, Aeris opened her eyes. She smiled at Cloud, which he took as a good sign. He was sure he'd be in big trouble for messing up her prayer. But then, disaster struck...
"Cloud! Aeris! Look out!", Barrett shouted.
Cloud and Aeris stared up at the sky to see a falling shadow hurtling in their direction. As it drew closer, they could see it was Sephiroth, their sole enemy. He was directly above Aeris, and he had his huge long sword out, ready to pierce through her frail body.
"NO!", shrieked a familiar voice.
All of a sudden, Aeris was pushed aside by her best friend, Tifa Lockheart.
Aeris looked up and couldn't believe her eyes. There was Sephiroth standing in the middle of the altar with his sword embedded into Tifa's stomach. The young woman slumped to the floor, as Sephiroth removed his weapon.
"Oh my God! They killed Tifa!", screamed Aeris.
"You bastard!", yelled Cloud.
"Tifa! No, Tifa! Please, God no!", cried Barrett.
"Hahahahaha! Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of the planets energy and bla bla bla! Anyway, I have an appointment with my dentist! So I'll be seeing *you* later!"
Sephiroth flew off into the air and darted off into the night. The party crowded round Tifa's body.
"Tifa! T-This can't be happening!", Cloud wept.
"It can, and for all you know it is!", flinced Aeris. "Well, now that Sephiroth has gone, I can get on with my prayer. Excuse me, guys."
"Prayer?! Prayer?!", exclaimed Barrett. "One of our fellow party members has just died! And you expect us to just carry on as normal?!"
"Huh? Well, why the hell not?!", laughed Aeris.
"You little...! Have some goddamn respect! Tifa was the nicest, sexiest, hottest, most gorgeous-!"
"Cloud! Cloud! We get the idea!", Barrett interrupted.
"Look, I'm sorry that she's dead, but lets just try to put it all behind us, huh?"
"You-You...! I-I never would have expected this from you Aeris! She was your best friend, dammit!", squarked Cloud.
"What do you want me to do, Cloud?! Start crying and wailing?! Death happens to us all, we learn to live with it!"
"You intergalaxtic hussy, you! Go away! You don't belong here! You're no friend of mine anymore!", Cloud snapped.
"Alright, alright! I'm going!", she snarled. "Barrett, you coming?"
"...No way! Tifa was my buddy too! I ain't about to abandon her!"
"Duh! She dead! How can you abandon someone if they're dead?!", Aeris grunted. "Aw, screw you guys! I'm going home! I shoulda never agreed to come on your depressing adventure anyway!"
Cloud awoke with a start. He was safely tucked into his bed at his villa in the Costa Del Sol. His bedroom door opened and Tifa walked in.
"Cloud, did you have another Aeris nightmare?"
"...Yeah."
"Oh Cloud, I'm really worried about you. You've been having these dreams ever since she died. Maybe I should take you to see a doctor..."
"No! No, I'm okay now. Y'see, I've learned something just now... Aeris wasn't really all that great after all. I mean, you're way better than she ever was!", Cloud smiled. "Losing you... now *that* I couldn't handle."
"Aw, thanks Cloud! Would you like some hot chocolate to help you get back to sleep?"
"That does sound good.", said Cloud as Tifa began to leave the room. "But I'd rather have you help me get back to sleep, if you know what I mean..."
"Oh! Cloud!", Tifa giggled. "I know what you mean!"
She wandered back over to his bed.
"Are you ready for this?", she asked.
"Oh yeah!", Cloud drooled.
"Okay...", Tifa pulled a bedtime story book from Cloud's dresser drawer. "It's time for 'The Gold Chocobo Adventure'!"
"Yippee!", cheered Cloud.
THE END__________