Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.
Eggsy's Got A Plan
Harry wasn't ashamed of the fact that he'd spent over two decades acting on what was essentially a soap opera. The higher ups could call it a drama all they wanted, but Harry had no illusions about 'Kingsman'. It was a soap. And while his role as Colin Firth was far from his favorite, not to mention occasionally annoying given the differences in their personalities, Harry's time on the show had provided him with a steady income, a fanbase outside of his theater work, and the opportunity to do what he loved most.
Even if the storylines had often been about as real and believable as a crooked politician.
He'd left the show seven years before, his exit explained by his character's decision to become a teacher in another country. It had all been very last minute, as the higher up had refused to believe they couldn't convince him to stay, but Harry was just glad that they hadn't decided to make his character pay for his decision to leave the show. Because he'd made enough money and earned enough prestige that he didn't need to appear in the increasingly vulgar and distasteful drivel the writers were producing at the time, and not even for his character's integrity would he have stuck around.
But yet here he was, Harry acknowledged ruefully, on his way to speak with the main director, writers, and other big wigs associated with 'Kingsman'. The reason for the visit? To talk to them about returning in some capacity for the show's twenty fifth season.
Naturally he'd said no when originally approached about guest starring for the anniversary season. Above and beyond the obvious reasons to turn them down, he'd seen no point in revisiting his former role as Colin. Especially since his ending, however bad it had been, had at least been tolerable, which was more than could be said for the exits made by plenty of his former colleagues. Frankly he didn't even want to think about what new horrors the writers could visit on poor Colin if given the chance. Hell, he'd bet a thousand pounds that at some point one of the writers had suggested having his character come back after a sex change if he refused the role, just so that they could send a woman back in his place and really shake things up a bit.
It was a thought that put a smile on his face, since one did have to have a sense of humor about these sorts of things when one lived part of their life in a soap opera.
In the end it had been a combination of emotional blackmail from friends and colleagues associated with the show combined with the lure of a promised better ending for Colin that had made him agree to at least hear them out properly. Because the chance to play Colin as a stronger man than when he'd left the show, a better man, did appeal to him since he did owe much of his current success to that character. And so Harry found himself willing to at least speak to them about coming back in some capacity.
Hearing his name called by a voice he'd know anywhere, Harry smiled, shook his head, and then turned around to face one of the blackmailing friends who'd gotten him into this situation.
Eggsy Unwin was young enough to be his son, but Harry still counted the younger man as one of his closest friends. They'd met once when Eggsy was no more than a boy, Eggsy's father a talented young actor who'd tragically passed away when the boy was only five, but they had truly gotten to know each other during the last two seasons Harry had been on 'Kingsman'. Colin was an English teacher who had had Taron, Eggsy's character, as a student.
Eggsy had joined their cast with plenty of cocky bravado, Harry recalled with rueful fondness, but it hadn't taken long for all of them to see that Eggsy was a sweet boy underneath his swagger, the chip on his shoulder nothing in comparison to the size of Eggsy's overly generous heart.
"Hello, Eggsy."
Returning the warm hug Eggsy gave him as soon as they were in reach of each other, Harry took a moment to appreciate the fact that Eggsy was wearing the cologne he'd given him a couple Christmases ago. It was always nice to have a gift appreciated.
The chav look Eggsy clung so stubbornly to though, that he was still working on, Harry silently mused when they parted and Harry had to resist the urge to remind the boy that with the money he was making these days Eggsy really could afford to dress so much better than he did. It would probably only encourage the boy to waste more money on Adidas anyway.
"Come to make sure I showed?"
"Nah. At worst ya'd just be late. Like always."
Smirking in agreement, he did have the reputation of always being late for things he didn't want to do, Harry fell into step with Eggsy since the boy had taken his arm and was steering them towards his ultimate destination. "So what are you doing here, then? Not that it's not lovely to see you…but it is rather suspicious."
"Harry. Ya wound me."
"Nice try. What ARE you doing here?"
A quick pout, but Eggsy knew better than to think he could manipulate Harry that way. And they'd hardly taken more than a couple steps before Eggsy was back to his usual impish smile.
"I am here cause of your meetin, but not how you're thinkin. I ain't here ta make sure ya show up or browbeat ya in ta returning no matter what they wanna do ta ya. Swear down." Eggsy even put his free hand over his heart for emphasis. "In fact, ya should be thankin me."
"Oh really? And why is that, exactly?"
"Cause I came up with a totally brilliant idea for what they should do with your character this season. It will improve ratings, make your fans happy, AND mean that ya get ta spend plenty of screen time with your favorite person on the show. Me."
The cocky wink Eggsy aimed at him had Harry's lips curving a little in amusement. He couldn't help it. "And would I be correct in assuming that you aren't going to tell me what mad idea you've come up with now."
"Oi! Seriously? Need I remind ya that I was the one who talked ya in ta tryin out for the role of Galahad in 'The Secret Service'? Even though everyone, including you, Bruv, said I was barmy as sodding fuck ta think ya could do an action role. And weren't ya fucking brilliant in that role? Didn't WE blow the critics and every fucking body away with that movie no one thought was gonna be much ta see? Hell, when have I ever steered ya wrong?"
Since they were only a couple minutes away from their destination Harry just raised a knowing brow.
Eggsy scowled in response.
"Exactly. Though I will hear you out, along with everyone else about their ideas. But I will not agree to come back for this season unless I'm satisfied with the planned scripts."
"So ya already said like a zillion times already."
Oh the young and their love of exaggerating, Harry thought with shake of his head.
Still, at least with Eggsy with him the younger man wouldn't be able to say he was exaggerating when it came to the no doubt horrible pitches that were going to soon be lobbied in his direction.
)
Moving to the side to allow a young woman he didn't recognize walk past them, Harry had to bite back another sigh when she gave the two of them a look he'd become very familiar with since their last movie together. Despite the fact that the most affectionate gesture between his and Eggsy's characters had been a shoulder squeeze, hundreds, possibly thousands of fans had decided that their characters were meant to be a romantic couple. And that therefore he and Eggsy had to be a couple. Which Eggsy didn't help disillusion them about in the slightest, the little shit. Unlike him, Eggsy loved the fact that artists everywhere thought it a jolly good idea to draw pictures of him and Eggsy in extremely compromising positions, which television hosts had loved to trot out the last time he'd done the rounds.
Eggsy thought they were brilliant.
"You all right, Harry?"
"Do you have any upcoming TV appearances?"
"Uhm…not off the top of me head, no. Why?"
"Then I'm fine." He did not need to wake up to a message from his agent that Eggsy had said that Harry was definitely on his list of sexiest British actors. Again.
Letting go of his arm Eggsy hurried forward to open the door for him, the bow and over the top hand gesture putting another smile on Harry's face as he stepped in to be greeting by the small group of people already seated around the room's long table.
That Eggsy hadn't mentioned his plan to drop by was made obvious as various voices asked him what he was doing here.
"Well I knew you lot was gonna be discussin your plans for bringing Harry back for this season, and I wanted ta tell ya the brilliant idea I had about that before he heard the rest of your barmy ideas." Eggsy winked at them like he wasn't serious, though of course he was. Or at least Harry hoped Eggsy realized the majority of the show was utter rubbish at this point.
"A brilliant idea, hmm?" The woman who spoke wasn't someone Harry recognized, but he'd guess she was one of the writers that had come in after he'd left.
"Yup. And not only will Harry like it, but it will properly finish off both our storylines on the show, require very little buildup or effort, AND will bring in serious viewing numbers. At least where we're concerned. Guaranteed."
"Eggsy, nothing in show business is guaranteed."
"Trust me, Harry. This is brill. Possibly the most brilliant idea I've ever come up with, actually."
If he paled a little, Harry felt it a completely justified reaction to the gleam in the boy's eyes. Shit.
With a great sigh Adam Hamilton, one of the show's producers, gestured in Eggsy's direction with an air of resignation. "Well since we all know you won't leave until you have your say, lets here it. I'll introduce everyone after, since you're obviously about to explode with it."
"Cheers."
Eggsy paused a moment, no doubt for dramatic effect, and then off he went.
"All right then, so we all know the way Colin's storyline on the show ended was shit, right? It made no bloody sense for him ta go, not given his personality and the hold his family and Jack had on him. And that's on top of im loving his job and Kingsman as well. And I know why it was the way it was, but the audiences, except for the prats, hated it. Said it was abrupt, out of character, and didn't fit with the rest of the season. Which, let's face it, is true. But what I propose would change what happened so it did fit his character and would allow us ta basically start a new storyline with him in it that fixes things so that his character gets a happy ending everyone will be happy with."
Another producer spoke up. "And you propose we…?"
"We reveal that Colin was lying ta Mac and everyone else bout his reasons for leaving Kingsman. That it wasn't cause he wanted to stretch his wings and all that rubbish, but because he was afraid of what he might do if he stayed." Eggsy flashed Harry a grin then that did not bode well for him. "Now I said that his storyline would be tied in with mine, so at this point do I need ta recap our characters' previous history together?"
Given that all but one of the writers was new since Harry's departure, and there had been a great many plotlines and such since he'd left, Harry settled in for a few minutes of boredom as Hamilton stated that he'd tell them the relevant points, the man foolishly thinking he could take back control of this meeting from Eggsy before the boy was good and read to relinquish it.
The just of it was that Eggsy's character had been a troubled teenager when he'd entered the show, angry with the world and his single mother for dragging him out of the city and his gang to live a quieter life in her former hometown. Taron had been a troublemaking bad influence from the first, and as punishment for his latest prank on the schoolmaster Taron had been ordered to participate in the drama club's annual play, which Harry's character had been in charge of. Through many trials and tribulations Colin had managed to get through to and bond with the boy, and under his influence Taron had started to try harder in school and tone down his wildness. For a while Taron had reverted to his old ways after Colin had had to stay away from him due to untrue accusations regarding the nature of their relationship, but in the end Taron had blackmailed the headmaster into leaving them alone and Colin had tutored and nurtured Taron's interest in becoming a writer up until he left the show a term before Taron was due to graduate from Kingsman Academy.
"That covers most of it, yeah." Eggsy's agreed, once Hamilton was done with his summarizing. "And so here's what I'm proposin. What if the real reason Colin left was Taron?"
Harry didn't follow. "Because of you? Why?"
"Because what if Miss. Splinch, Taron's mum and friends, and some of the others weren't wrong when they thought that there was more to their relationship than just teacher and student? What if Colin was in love with im and left ta make sure he didn't act on those feelings? And what if Taron felt the same way…and that's why he's never had a long lasting relationship or said those three little words birds love so much? Cause all this time he's been waitin for Colin ta come back or him ta be successful enough ta be worthy of going after him? And now we've got Colin comin home for the summer in reaction ta his mum's murder…so what if Taron comes home as well, knowin Colin was comin back? Both our storylines need ta end at the end of this season, right? What better way than Taron goin off ta wherever Colin is livin now as a couple?"
)
Harry was fairly sure that his jaw was in danger of dropping to the floor, but couldn't bring himself to care as he stared at Eggsy like he'd grown another head. A look that Harry was reassured to see was mirrored on the rest of the faces in the room, proving that he wasn't alone in thinking that Eggsy had lost his mind. Because how could anyone think that this was a good idea? How had Eggsy come up with this idea? Had the boy been pissed out of his mind? Was Eggsy taking drugs? Oh dear God, that had to be it. All the boy's recent fame had proven to be too much, too quickly, and they were going to fight tooth and nail over it but he'd make his friend go into rehab before Eggsy ruined his life. After he put the little idiot over his knee and tanned his arse bright red for being so stupid and-
"Quit looking at me like I'm high, Harry."
"Eggsy…"
The younger man rolled his eyes. "I ain't on drugs, Harry! Just think about it for a minute, okay?"
And to emphasis his point Eggsy started counting them off on his fingers. "One, ya can't argue that aside from age he's exactly Colin's type. And second, they're exactly what the other needs in a lover. They're perfect for each other, really, aside from the age thing. And third, no one at this table can say that Harry and I don't have serious chemistry. I mean fuck, look at all the fanfics, artwork, and videos out there of us as a couple! Even though we ain't ever done more than hug onscreen!"
"There are VIDEOS?" He'd known about the other two mediums, unfortunately, but how could there be videos?
"Yeah, sure. I'll show ya on YouTube sometime. But the point is that there's a serious fanbase out there that already want us to be a couple. AO3 alone has nearly four thousand stories with us paired from 'Secret Service'. And those fans will tune in ta see im and I as a real couple."
"He's right." The girl who spoke up hardly looked more than twenty, and had a gleam in her eyes very similar to Eggsy's. "And at the end of Colin's storyline he gave Taron his favorite book as a keepsake when he came to say goodbye…what if there was a letter inside it explaining the real reason he was leaving, so that Taron knew all this time? Hell, we could even had them being pen pals of sorts, with Colin having imposed some sort of age limit Taron had to reach before they could be a couple, to make sure Taron was sure Colin was who he wanted? Oh! We could have this scene in the first episode with Taron's talking all romantic like on the phone about picking someone up from the airport…and it's Colin. Imagine the reactions!"
Like her words were a match thrown onto dry kindling the room suddenly erupted with possible scenes and plot twists, Eggsy wading into the discussion to argue how he thought things should go while Harry…he didn't know what to say.
They'd all gone mad.