Disclaimer: JK ROWLING'S, NOT MINE!
Hope you enjoy this one!
THE SWITCH
JAMES
Lily stared at me with the most intense and seething look she could muster. Her eyes seemed to be alight with undisguised fury and there seemed to be a certain flame in her irises, one which could rival the Transfiguration teacher's any day. Hell, to be honest, the hair on the nape of my neck stood on end, and an involuntary shiver ran down my spine.
I took two instinctual steps backwards as I raised my hands up in surrender, and flashed the most charming smile I could muster at the fuming red-head.
Her unwavering scowl didn't help the situation at all.
"Oh come on Evans, it's just a stupid detention," I stuttered, trying desperately to put out the fire in her eyes. "You got one, big deal! I get them at least a dozen times every month and look at me. I'm doing just fine!"
"Doing just fine? Are you serious?" She cried, her copper hair bounced on her shoulders, tumbling down her black school robes as she threw her head back in disbelief, exhaling in an angry puff of air. "You have to be the most ill-reputed boy at Hogwarts, no one takes you seriously, and all the teachers are fed up of you and your lot. You have to be the most insufferable, immature imbecile this world has ever seen. So, I think 'doing just fine', is something that should not be coming out of your infectious mouth!" she shrieked, pointing an accusatory finger at me.
"A boy?" I scoffed, my eyes widening in disbelief "A boy? Is that seriously how I look like to you? Well dear, I'm offended." I shrieked, placing my hands on my hips in mock horror.
"Ugh!" she cried, throwing her hands up in frustration, as she stormed out of the corridor we were in, making her way to the Dungeons where our detention was to take place. I smirked as I followed her down the corridor. She was too cute when she was angry, it was hard not to be smitten by her.
Lily and I had been assigned as partners in Potions class by Professor Slughorn, much to her dismay and to my approval. It was like I won the muggle lottery or something.
The partnership started out quite peaceful and uneventful, except for the occasional perverted jokes on my part, and the occasional use of colorful words and exaggerated grunts on hers. The trouble broke out much later when we had an argument over how the Hungarian Horntail Scales were to be grated for the potion. She insisted on doing it with slow deliberate strokes, while I argued that it was an instinctual 'guy' thing, and the only way it could be properly grated was to start scrubbing it like a 'house-elf doing the laundry while he was high on Firewhiskey'.
My refusal to listen to her, and reference to her beloved house elves seemed to offend her, which is why we both ended up with detention, a ruined potion, and a hysterical me, who was held captive by Madame Pomfrey as she tried desperately to remove the entire Bubotuber puss out of my nose and ears. Sirius found it absolutely hilarious. He and Peter even took some pictures for their Christmas Postcards, just like the good friends they were.
I was not amused.
My thoughts were shattered when the booming laughter of my Potions' Professor met my ears. The oh, so charming Lily Evans must have said something. I rolled my eyes at that, and finally entered the dungeons, only to find Lily and Slughorn in a fit of giggles, their bodies trembling as they shook with mirth.
Lily stopped laughing immediately, her scowl firmly in place, and I waited patiently for the obese professor to contain himself.
It was not long before Professor Slughorn wiped away his tears and seemed to notice my presence.
"Oh why hello dear boy! It seems like you made it just in time!" he chirped, clapping his hands together in delight. "I was just telling Miss Evans here a story about myself, when I was 'bout your age. We had a good laugh over it," He chortled lightly, before checking the time and composing himself. "I see that it is already quarter past eight, so I'm afraid I can't afford to spend more time and tell you the tale tonight, ma boy. Perhaps some other time?" he said, clapping his hands on my shoulder, while I wheezed and spluttered, masking my obvious discomfort by a cough and tried to avoid Lily's smirk.
"And now," continued Slughorn, "I must leave both of you. Hopefully there won't be any fight breaking out this time." A glare was flashed in my direction and I pointedly ignored it. "I will be back in an hour, and I want my Potions cupboard to be properly alphabetically rearranged. Without magic might I add. Therefore I shall be taking your wands."
I groaned at this revelation, while Lily just nodded at him and replied with a polite "Yes Professor."
Slughorn collected our respective wands, and then with a nod in our direction, swept out of the room dramatically.
Chortling at the crazy, old professor, I shook my head with a fond yet exasperated smile as I turned around to face my accomplice, who was staring at me intently, with narrowed eyes.
"What?" I inquired incredulously, raising my arms and flapping them to add more emphasis to my statement.
"I just want to establish some rules here." She crossed her arms, with the same contemplative expression on her face.
"What now?" I sighed, ruffling my hair exasperatedly as I waited for her to continue.
"Okay," she said, holding up her fingers at me as she paced around the room. "Rule number one. You are NOT to be within a five foot radius from me. If you fail to abide by this rule, you should not have a problem with castration, because I can make that happen."
She noted my wince with more satisfaction than that was necessary. Her smirk scared the shit out of me as she continued with her damned list of rules. But of course I couldn't let her know that.
"Rule number two," she said, pointing two fingers at me. "No perverted jokes, and you are not to call me 'Pumpkin', 'Sugar' or 'Strawberry', because I am not a dessert, especially not yours. Any food related pet names will not be tolerated."
"Okay, Flower." I said seductively, pleased to see her scowl set in place.
"Okay scratch that," she swung her hair over her shoulder. "Let's just say you're not allowed to call me anything. Hell, don't even talk to me. At all. Now, I say we organize our work. You can arrange the potions while I set it up on the shelf."
"Fine, whatever."
Lily made her way to the potion cupboard, and started to pull out the potions that were kept in it. Just then, a gust of wind blew into the dungeons. It was so pathetic; we just stood there awestruck, wondering how a breeze could venture so far into the dungeon. One particular breeze was so powerful, that it blew out all the lanterns that were lit around the dungeon.
"Shit." I swore, while Lily groaned in frustration.
We both just stood there in silence, trying to get accustomed to the darkness that had suddenly enveloped us. I couldn't even see my hand.. But hey, I'm practically blind so that doesn't count!
"JAMES!"
"Oh my Merlin!"
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
"YOU JUST CALLED ME JAMES!"
"YEAH, SO?"
"I CAN NOW DIE A HAPPY MAN!"
"..I'm just going to ignore that. Turn on the sodding lights will you! I'm holding Merlin knows how many potions, and they're all going to fall!"
"Lily, I can't."
"Out of all the things that you are, and the amount of flaws you possess, I thought that you'd at least have the decency to help out a girl in need."
"Are you saying you're my damsel in distress, eh Evans?"
"OH FOR HEAVEN SAKE JUST TURN THE LIGHTS ON!"
"I told you, I can't!"
"AND WHY THE HELL NOT?!"
"Slughorn took our wands remember?"
"Oh yeah…"
"What're we going to do now?"
"Well, why don't you somehow come over here and help me with these bottles, they're actually going to fall."
"Evans. I can't."
"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM NOW?"
"You said I can't come within a five foot radius, so technically I can't help you."
"WHAT? Those rules were shit anyway! Just come here okay, we'll get into so much trouble if something happens to these bottles."
"Nope, sorry Evans. Rules are rules, they are meant to be followed and obeyed."
"Since when did you start giving a damn about rules, huh?"
"Since now."
"Okay fine! You win Potter. Forget the stupid rules and just come help me before I spill Merlin knows what all over the both of us."
"How would it land on me exactly?"
"Oh I'll make sure I come and rub the entire spilt potion on your face after we're done with here. Don't blame me if you end up with pimples and boils all over your face. Girls wouldn't really like that, would they now?"
I could practically feel the triumph radiating out of Lily as I groped around the classroom, trying to find my way to her.
After a few moments, I felt something that felt like hair. I tugged at it on purpose, and smirked into the darkness as I heard an angry shriek pierce through the darkness.
Now, Lily and I weren't enemies. Though tormenting the other is a favorite hobby for the both of us, it wasn't the same as it had been five years prior, as things were particularly violent back then. There wasn't a day when I wasn't leaving the Hospital Wing because of a hex. We'd sort of grown-up and become more mature, here in sixth year. But old habits die hard, so it was quite frequent when Lily and I were seen arguing with each other. I used to, and still do, have a massive crush on her, but because of the advice given by my friends, I decided to try to move on. So now, I have to respect Lily's boyfriend, Amos Diggory. Though that's just a show in front of her, I still have my fun. If you've ever heard of someone making Mrs. Norris trot around the Great Hall wearing Diggory's initialed underwear for an entire week, then yep. That was me. (Just don't tell Lily)
Lily handed several bottles of potions to me, which I put onto a table that I had felt earlier. We decided we'd do just that and figure out what to do next. We worked in silence for several moments, until I accidentally stepped on her foot while coming back from the table.
Lily, in her shock, accidentally dropped the bottles of potions she held, as she reached to grasp her throbbing foot.
And then, quite predictably, the contents of one particular bottle soaked the both of us, as we stood there cursing and stomping around at our luck.
It smelt just like Sirius' socks do after he comes back from Quidditch practice.
I was quite convinced our nasal, and smelling senses would be permanently damaged by the pungent odor. But Lily and I were quite pleased to find this waft of hell subside after a few moments. And it seemed like the moisture that clung to our bodies also vanished.
"James, do you feel dry?"
"Yeah, I do surprisingly.."
I felt Lily's cloak brush my hand as she moved past me.
"Evans, what the hell are you doing?"
"Shh, I smell something. It smells like gasoline. Look for it."
"Look Evans, I know you hate me, but no need to take advantage of the dark and try to burn me! I mean, I'm not that bad.." I knew what she was getting at. She was looking for the illuminating potion. One that smells like gas, but lights whatever it touches. But annoying her by acting dumb was just too much fun.
"Potter. Don't test my patience. Remember the castration option? It works for other cases too. Look for that potion and give it to me."
With a grunt of acknowledgement from my part, we began our search for the much needed potion.
About half an hour, four cries of frustration, and three hisses of pain later, I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief.
"Potter, I've got it!"
"Oh, thank Merlin. I'm sick of banging into tables. Do what you have to do quickly, okay? This is really freaking me out now."
I heard Lily stumble around the room, until finally a flicker of light gave way to an unwavering flame on one of the torches.
Turning around to the source of light, my grateful grin turned into a mask of horror, as I shrieked. The shock wouldn't let any sound come out of my throat, so I ended up sounding like a dying Walrus.
There was a flash of black hair, as the head near the fire turned around to look at me. My partner let out a high pitched yell as she, or rather he caught sight of me.
Shaking my head, I ran towards the east side of the dungeons where a full length mirror stood perched up on the wall. I could feel myself being followed. Finally reaching the mirror, I swore loudly as I touched my face and traced the unfamiliar nose. I glanced at the mop of copper hair on my head, and at the shiny emerald eyes that stared back at me in wonder. I shrugged off my robe and looked at the gentle swell of my chest. It seemed as if my button down shirt had become rather loose.
When I looked back up to the mirror, I saw someone standing next to the reflection of Lily. It looked just like me, but it was certainly not acting like me. While I was standing with my hands on my cheeks, something what the Lily in the mirror was doing, James in the mirror on the other hand had his mouth open in a pure mask of hysteria. He was hunched over in disbelief, facing the mirror, and his hands were in his hair seeming to pull the strands out of their follicles.
It was hilarious, if you asked me. Until I noticed some lose strands in his hands.
"OH HELL NO, DON'T YOU DARE PULL OUT MY HAIR" I yelped, as I rushed and pried mine-or rather Lily's hands away from the raven black hair.
"James, how did this happen..?" Lily asked, her voice deep. It seemed our voices were also changing to match the respective bodies. Though she successfully removed her hands from the hair, it seemed she couldn't stop touching the face.
"I think.. I think it was maybe that potion that fell on us, considering the fact that nothing else happened." I said, staring at my reflection as I watched the Lily in the mirror copy my movements.
Just then, a pop was heard followed by something that sounded like a ricochet of a bullet from those muggle movies Sirius always watches.
"Woah, what was that?" I breathed
"My button…" came Lily's irritated reply as she pulled off the robe to show the too tight shirt she was wearing.
Wow, I really am fit.
"Well, we could exchange shirts if you want, mine is rather lose" I offered, but the reply to that was a battle cry from the red-head, followed by a death threat as Lily forbade me from ever removing her articles of clothing.
"Evans, I understand your concern, but there's very little we can do. I guess for the time being, we'll have to act like each other till the stupid potion wear's off."
Straightening herself, Lily looked back at me and then reluctantly nodded her approval. "I guess you're right, Potter. But we are not to tell anyone about this. Except for Dumbledore maybe. But he's gone to London for a week, so we'll have to stay extra quiet till them. You can't tell the Marauders, and I won't mention it to Alice and Marlene."
"You got it." I sighed in a highly feminine fashion.
Our conversation was interrupted, as we heard someone stumble into the dungeons.
"Is it just me, or was the dungeon unusually dark tonight?" Slughorn said over his shoulder, as he glanced at the corridor. "Oh never mind my dears," he continued "I see that you are done. Here take your wands, and you may go!" he boomed, passing the wands to the both of us.
Lily and I quickly exited the dungeons, and quietly made our way to Gryffindor Tower, both too tired and shocked to utter a word.
"And where are you going?" Lily asked as I stood on the foot of the boy's dormitory staircase.
"Well," I begun, a confused expression on my face "I'm going to bed."
"Potter, have you forgotten that we have recently had a switch. I'm sure Remus and the rest will have quite the fright when they see someone like me in your bed. The questions they will ask won't make this task for us any easier, now would it?" Lily asked
"I'm afraid you're right" I scratched my head "So, um, I guess you should go up there then. I'll be headed to your room."
"Yeah." Lily moved past me, and started making her way up the staircase before she stopped and turned around to look at me. "Potter, you are not to mess around with anything. Don't even talk to anyone, act like you're really tired and all you want to do is sleep. Cooperate with me just this once, okay? We'll figure something out.. How about we meet here tomorrow morning at six and figure out what to do next."
"At six?!" I cried incredulously.
"Are you telling me you have a better idea?" She asked with her eyebrow raised.
"I'm afraid not. Well, night then Evans."
"Goodnight, Potter."
I watched her-or rather him walk up the stairs before I turned around and walked to the girls' staircase, squeezing my eyes shut as I took a few steps. The expected slide never came and I smirked as I made my way up the steps with a newfound confidence.
I opened the room of their dormitory hesitantly, expecting a shoe to be chucked in my direction at the sight of me. But instead, I was greeted by warm smiles and 'Hey Lily's.
It appeared that all those girls were getting ready for bed. They were all dressed in their nighties and pajamas, and some were even pillow fighting. I stood there with my mouth hanging open as my boy hormones kicked in.
"Well come on here now" I heard Marlene call, "we're just about to have a pillow fight! You in?"
Marlene McKinnon was one of the prettiest girls in our year, and I had to admit having a pillow fight with all these girls did cause some excitement,even though I was supposed to be Lily. Sirius will be so jealous.
Though Lily had given me strict instructions to go straight to bed, I decided to stick around a while longer.
"Sure, why not." I said, smirking as I shut the door.
Well this is going to be fun.
Hope you liked it! Please read and REVIEW! I'd really appreciate it! Tell me what you think, and if I should continue it as a full fledged story. I wouldn't mind some ideas for the future chapters either.
Happy reading!
-Schaz