Voldy the Explorer, a harry potter fanfic

Possibly the weirdest fic ever. This is a parody of Dora the Explorer. No, I don't own Harry Potter.

Voldy skipped happily down the smooth orange path, dotted with happy pink and yellow flowers. Skipping beside him was his best friend, Snape the monkey. On his back was the best backpack in the world, Nagini.

"Can you get the map out, Nagini?" asked Voldy happily. In his hands he held a small package of dragon dung.

"Sure, Voldy," a few second later, Voldy had in his hands a map. It was not just any map – it was a really complicated one, with three locations on it. Three!

"Now, according to this, we have to go past the Terrible Terrible Chamber of Secrets. Where is the Terrible Terrible Chamber of Secrets?" Voldy suddenly looked somewhere ahead of him, "can you find the Terrible Terrible Chamber of Secrets?"

Behind Voldy was a large blue arrow, pointing to hole in the ground. After a few moments, Voldy turned and there it was; the Terrible Terrible Chamber of Secrets.

Soon, Voldy, Snape, and Nagini were on their way again.

"Now the map says to go to the Beautiful Beautiful castle," said Voldy, frowning in confusion, "where is the Beautiful Beautiful Castle? Can you find the Beautiful Beautiful Castle?"

He chose to ignore the big blue arrow behind him.

"I think it might be…" Snape murmured, "over THERE!"

There it was; the Beautiful Beautiful Castle. Voldy grinned and soon he, the monkey, and the backpack were off again.

They were just nearing the Shadowy Shadowy Lake when a rustling sound came from the bushes. A large red fox in a maroon jumper emerged.

"Oh no!" cried Voldy, "it's Ronnie the Fox! He's come to steal our dragon dung!"

Ronnie the Fox slowly walked towards Voldy, grinning and cackling.

"Quickly!" Voldy turned to look at some point in front of him, "we need to get our magic wands and repel this terrible creature!"

Voldy got out his magic wand and gave it a little flick, "Repeat after me," he cried, "CRUCIO!"

"It's really ticklish," Voldy explained, "again! CRUCIO!"

"Aaaaand… CRUCIO!"

Ron the Fox got up from the ground, where he had been screaming for mercy, it was SO ticklish.

"Aw, man," he said disappointedly, before running off into the forest.

After finding the Mountain of Dragon Dung, they gave their gift to the old man who was living there and screamed in delight.

"Come on, let's sing!" said Voldy.

"Ssssss, ssssss, HISS!"

Voldy began to sing in Parseltongue.

"Hiss hiss hiss hiss ssssssssssss hiss hiss hiss, hiss ss, hiss ss, hiss SSSSS!"

Now Voldy sang alone, switching for Parseltongue to Normaltongue.

"Ronnie the Fox tried to sweep our precious dragon dung, so we cried "CRUCIO!" and gave the man the dragon dung! YEAH! Ooooooh, ohh, YEAH! WE DIT IT!"

Then Voldy, Snape, and Nagini ran all the way home for dinner.