Hi! I had to write this bold part twice, so I'm pissed off and I forgot what I was gonna say.
I am doing this mostly to piss off Boomeus. This is linked to his story (he doesn't know it yet) which is similarly titled, his will explain what this is if you don't know. There will be many references and inside jokes, if all goes according to my plan, so if at any point you get lost, see 3.
I awoke in front of a TV screen showing the end of a documentary about red Gyarados. I felt anxious, and for a second I forgot why. This body would take some getting used to. I quickly remembered the cause of my anxiety, though; Boomeus already had a head start.
I turned off the TV, trying shake off a wave of nausea. Letting my new body and its memories lead me, I walked down the stairs and was confronted by a woman whom I quickly discovered was my mother in this world.
She tells me that my friend (apparently named Fox) called about some kind of emergency. My body told me that this was not out of the norm; both I and it felt that this may be interesting.
Before I can make it out the door my mother warns me not to go into the tall grass. I roll my eyes, why must the tutorials of shit I've known since I was three be unskippable?
Continuing to let my body lead me through the events of importance as they were meant to play out, I arrive at Fox's house. I can't even reach the knob before the door flies open and Fox runs both of us into the ground. He was lucky my powers were taken away, or else he'd be dead.
Before I can tell him off, his mouth begins running at a million miles an hour, telling me to go to the lake, Lake Verity my body tells me, and then runs off. He doesn't make it far, though, before running back inside his house, informing me that he forgot something.
I follow him inside and talk to who I assume is Fox's mother. She informs me of his eccentric, as if I couldn't guess… I should've gone with sapphire… I thought, if this is the guy standing between me and the elite four, I might shoot myself. Wait, no guns in this world, damn.
I meat Fox again in his room, he says more words I can't comprehend without caffeine, and runs out the door.
I take my time catching up to him, though I don't know why. I could already hear the unrelenting voice of Boomeus of how I am 'so far behind him and his awesomeness'. Regardless I take a moment and walk around town. A few people comment on Fox and I's friendship, few offering more n00bish advice, and one fat guy who breaks the fourth wall.
I walk out of the town to route 201, Fox meats me right at the edge of the route and makes reference to the documentary I awoke too. Everything has a point, I guess… He explains that he hopes to find something similar in Lake Verity. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out why I chose the game with the longest fucking introduction.
We walk together to the lake and come across an old man, and a young girl. I immediately recognized them as Dawn and the professor, but didn't say anything in order to maintain appearances. The hardest thing about this, so far, is having to let things play out as they were meant to, as opposed to just killing Fox and Dawn, going home, and picking up my Pokémon tomorrow. But that's against the rules…
The duo is searching for something at the lake as well, after some idle chit-chat that I'd heard so many times I could mouth it as they said it (Shiny only play through (Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a shiny starter?))
They leave.
They ignore us.
I flip them off.
We get their bag.
Fox's NPC ignorance begins to get on my nerves…
And while contemplating whether or not to be a Good Samaritan, we are surrounded by DEADLY SMALL BIRDS!
THE HORROR!
Not being able to kill them with my bare hands, I open the briefcase while Fox wets his pants, grab the little blue one, and got to work.
The Piplup kills the weak bird in two hits, even with its attempt to weaken my strength. And Fox, amazingly, wins his battle as well.
His mouth begins to rev up to light speed again and I go back and forth between contemplating how this whiny bitch managed to even open a Pokeball, and where in this world I could find a good cup of Joe.
Dawn appears.
Takes bag.
Has a panic attack.
Runs off.
We follow.
You've all played this game before, right?
As I try to walk back to my house, the professor met up with us, stared, said words that made no sense, and ran off. Then Dawn explains that we should go to their lab. About time!
But instead, Fox tells me to go home. Before I was able to say, "Bitch, please!" I black out and come to in my house in what I guess was the equivalent of a flash forward.
I explain the day's events to my mother and she tells me that I had met Professor Rowan and I hold back the urge to yell, "No shit!" She continues to suggest that I go to his lab, although I'm pretty sure that was already established… Before I go, she gives me running shoes with their fourth wall breaking instructions.
And with that, I am off!
I somehow make it to Sandgem Town without a single Pokeman encounter, and run into Dawn again while I sulk in the lack of bloodshed. She walks me to Rowan's lab, where Fox runs us into the ground again. He explains nothing, and, like a ninja, is gone. Should've gotten a GPS chip for him… and planted somewhere painful…
Dawn urges me into the lab where the professor talks to me with a holier-than-thou attitude, molests my Pokémon, and tells me I can keep the Piplup. I decide to name him Tuiq.
Then ensues the endless conversation that ends with Rowan recruiting me for a project that, to me as a Pokémon smut aficionado, seems a little suspect. But, even if it is, that's a plus for me. So I agree, take the futuristic technology, and begin my quest after what felt like an eternity. By this point, Boomeus could either be halfway there or starting over because of some stupid mistake, and something told me the latter was more likely.
I leave the lab and see that Dawn isn't gonna leave me alone yet. She treats me like a two-bit n00b and brings me on a tour of the town while I try to figure out if having sex with her violates the rules.
I run home to tell my mother that I'm leaving and never coming back, she gives me a journal, what? No food? Tent? Nothing? ... Some mother…, and tells me to visit on occasion. I tell her I would with my fingers crossed.
Fox's mother shows up and gives me a parcel for him. Apparently he didn't say goodbye.
Jerk.
I walk out of 'my home town' for what I hope to be the last time, but knew it wouldn't...
Finally free of the annoying NPCs for the time being, I took the time to get to know my Pokémon. My Tuiq has a brave nature, with pretty balanced stats, not a bad start.
Tuiq: 'Sup?
Me: Ready to go?
Tuiq: I'm ready for anything!
Me: Good to hear, 'cause this is only the beginning.