Nollaig Chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
(Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!) xx Alexis

If I was a Christmas present, where would I be?

Would you have me on display, or placed there beneath your tree.

If I was a Christmas present, what could I be?

Would you rip off the paper quickly, just so you could see?

If I was a Christmas present, who should I be?

Would you peel me open slowly, to look lovingly at me?

Yes, I am your Christmas present, how can that be?

Well, I'm your Christmas kiss from (_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _); you've gotten him and me for eternity.

If you wish to redeem this. Please call out my name on Christmas day and I will come to you.

I don't know when it happened when I realised I was irrevocably in love with her. We weren't close really, we barely knew each other. Alice and Edward made sure of that, keeping her on the edge of our family. It took me a while to see what was right in front of my face. I blame them for it, they knew, I know they knew! Because Isabella was meant for me, she was only ever meant to be mine.

I'd been keeping myself isolated and insular since the debacle that was her birthday party, not able to stand their company or lies anymore. From the day Isabella Marie Swan stepped into our lives, a change was in the air. Alice obviously saw it and decided it wasn't what was best for her. What should have been the start of my future with Isabella, became (excuse my language) a cluster fuck of epic proportions!

Like spoiled children, they played with her, their new, shiny and breakable toy. Keeping her apart from us and glamoured. Not giving me the chance to see her for what she was, my eternal mate. We had all been together for many years and they, it seems did not want things to change. I was their cash cow, even though I didn't see it at the time.

So Edward set about convincing me, what I felt just a normal attraction to her sweet, glorious scent. Just like the others also did, she was universally appealing he said. I should have known better, I should have seen it then. But I made an assumption that nearly cost me dear; I thought he wouldn't lie to me?

My wife, well we were never mates, merely companions and they all knew this. We never lied to them, hell we weren't really married. We just let others link us together over the years; it benefitted us both at the time. She was loath to let me go it seems, not if it meant she would be left alone, she should have known I was not like them and would have seen her right.

I care not anymore; they all made their beds, let them rot in them. Alice and Edward may never have said the word mate, but still! Esme, it appears also knew Isabella was mine and she turned a blind eye. So my dislike for them all grew bigger. After everything I've done for them, and this is my thanks, to be stabbed in the back by the very people I called family.

CP

So here I stand outside Isabella's window and the sight I see is a terrible one. She's a shell of her former self; his glamour has done untold damage to her frail human body and mind. I watch as she sits there, her stare sees little on the outside. She's lost in her memories of what should have been a perfect future for her, but I will make it a better one, eventually. I wait for her to move, use the facilities, eat or even sleep, but she sits immobile until her body finally gives into sleep.

I slip into her room and hang one of my jackets on the back of her chair amongst all the other things there. She needs my scent now if she's ever to resurface whole. The scent of your mate can fracture the glamour of another, thank god, because he laid it down far too thick. Selfish bastard, I may yet seek our vengeance, once Isabella is out from under his control, I know he expected her to die.

I should have come back sooner, but so much had to be done first. All those years had accumulated untold wealth and possessions and I needed to get it all sorted out before we got together, god I hope she accepts me, humans are lucky they actually get the choice without recourse. I, of course, will have to stay near or end up like poor Marcus Volturi.

If I'd known Edward had been so underhand and cruel, I might have come back sooner, but once again he had me fooled, my hate for him was now a tangible thing. But my priority was Isabella now. As she awoke several hours later and took in a deep breath, I heard her heart speed up. She had caught my scent, it would take time but it would free her slowly. With every breath she took came a reaction of some kind.

She fidgeted in her seat, ran a hand through her lank hair, her eyes moved about the room and for once saw the world outside. Awareness began to settle upon her, a hidden strength of that elusive self-preservation, at last, has appeared. Much as I wanted to rush in there, this had to be done slowly, very slowly. She had to break free by herself in her mind.

On the 3rd of December, I leave a note propped on the window ledge, after swapping out my jacket. I saw her eyes rest on my note but she did not lean forward and take it though it was now the focus of her stare. She rises after several hours and snagged the note as she staggered to the bed, a thin pale imitation of her former self.

Still, it remained unopened but clutched to her chest, where she could sniff it surreptitiously. It took her another couple of hours, without sleep I might add, but it gave me a sign of hope; she pulled out my note and scanned the page.

If I was a Christmas present, where would I be?

Would you have me on display, or placed there beneath your tree.

"Here, with me, in my arms" I heard her whisper sadly and my heart aches for her.

I know she'll think it's from him at first, but once sanity returns she'll see the writing is different. My aim is to get her back on her feet by Christmas. So she can celebrate with her father, I refuse to let this also be a casualty of Edward's twisted game. We left on September 14th and I came back December 1st, nine weeks, I was gone for only nine weeks and for every one of them she's lost a pound or two.

She was 125 when she arrived here in Forks, now I'd say 110 or so. That's too much too quickly and needs to be addressed, sooner rather than later. The next couple of days see a change in Isabella; she rises early once again and drags herself to the bathroom. To have long revitalising baths and now change her clothes on a daily basis. I was well aware she had been in the others for a while before I arrived back in her life.

While she was out of the room on the 10th of December, I had lain another note, this time on her bed along with an apple, it was not much, but it was a start, her stomach will have shrunk with her self-enforced starvation. I also swapped out my jacket as I have done daily, for the one I wore yesterday, keeping my scent strong around her.

Charlie has also been leaving snacks and drinks by her bedside, making sure she had something even though it wasn't really enough, but she is eating and drinking it slowly. She didn't wait so long to open this note and as she munched on the apple I left she scanned the contents.

If I was a Christmas present, what could I be?

Would you rip off the paper quickly, just so you could see?

Once more sniffing the envelope, before a search of her room began. My jacket was found and as she returned to the bed to lie down wearing it and read the note again.

"Hope, you would be hope," she said quietly to the early morning air. I hope she realises it is not him, but someone else trying to help her.

CP

I retreated to my car as I heard her breathing change, Isabella was asleep. So I let my thoughts wander to the recent past. At first, I didn't know that I'd been played until five of those long weeks had gone by. I was desolate and depressed, unable to understand what was wrong with me. Could our flight from Forks have affected me this badly?

I had been trying to hunt when I heard them, Alice and Edward gloating and bragging to each other how they had gotten rid of Isabella so easily and I, the old fool was none the wiser. How the others were just sheep who did as they bid, believing everything they told them. Laughing about how they all knew and never told me or tried to stop them.

They let Alice and Edward get rid of my mate and did nothing to help me! I was sickened by them all; no disgusted would be a better choice of word. It took me two more weeks to cut them off at the knees financially; all of the credit was slowly revoked. All cards not in their own real names now destroyed one by one. They took me for a fool, but I'm a fast learner and I played them at their own game.

Their powers were useless in the face of my indifference; yes I knew how to get around them with ease. They forget how long I've been walking around on this earth. I worked quickly and carefully, to sell all that was in my name alone, first every house. Then all the land including the island and even the one in Forks were all now gone. Then I recouped all the things I put in their names but were bought with my money, Jenks was invaluable to me at this time.

I shipped everyone's personal belongings from each home to Chicago, they await them in Edward's only home and my own things sent to a location unknown to them. When their credit started to be declined, I up and left them. But only after I implemented the dissolution of the coven because I refuse to call them family ever again. Jenks called upon them to settle the last piece of business, the retrieval and destruction of their Cullen crests.

The threat was blatant and obvious to all of them, disband or I inform the Volturi. I would without qualm tell Aro what they had done. Because they all knew it was illegal and yet they just stood by and watched as Edward and Alice stole my life out from under me. I'm sure it will have them running for cover somewhere. I left them not a thing that wasn't bought with their own money.

I knew exactly what had been bought and by whom over the years, the vampire mind is a wondrous thing. I took perverse pleasure in the auction of Alice's vintage clothes and especially her shoes, Rose cars as well were sold; now humans owned them all. Edward's music collections and piano's from every house was sold or donated to worthy causes. All the games and consoles Emmett so dearly loved were also disposed of, it was quite the vintage collection.

I knew Alice and Jasper had plenty of money, but she liked to spend mine or his. Edward had contributed not one cent in all these years, neither had Rose. Only Emmett and Esme had monies of their own. I fear some will feel the pinch more than the others. Esme's punishment was all her hard work on the houses would now benefit random humans and not her.

This would hit them where it hurts, they never thought I'd pick her over them, but I have and I always would, she's my mate, at least this Alice should have seen. But it confirmed something I had thought and was sure of now, none of them were mates or they could never have done this, well I hope not. I have a feeling this will blow them apart, I still care not!

I instructed Jenks to tell them to vacate as soon as possible, as the house there in Ithaca had also been sold sight unseen and the new tenants wished to move in before Christmas to start renovations. If they took one thing that wasn't theirs I would phone Aro, to inform him they were covenless and therefore easy prey for his guard. This I had him tell them included my name, they are no longer entitled to be called Cullen for any reason.

The poor man had no idea what he was relaying but did as I bid, after all, I was paying him very well. In a fit of anger, I told him to tell Jasper and Rose that Alice and Emmett were playing away from home. Garrett and Kate Denali's names were dropped casually by him. I knew Edward would read his mind and find out everything was gone and they were penniless and almost homeless too. We had the foresight to have someone else set up my new accounts.

Jenks happily reported back all was not well with my former family and rifts between them were starting to show. They just didn't see why I was doing this to them, why I was being so cruel he said. Mr Jasper as he called him had told them all to suck it up, they had gotten what they deserved, and he had warned them all Isabella was my soul mate! Still, Jasper's betrayal stung almost more than Edward's.

CP

I was roused from my thoughts by the movements of Isabella; she was descending the stairs in her home. Charlie was down there watching TV and his shock was evident in his voice.

"Bells? Is everything okay?" he quizzed her with some trepidation,

"Fine Dad, Lunch?" she replied in a husky unused voice.

An hour later they had both eaten, Isabella's portion a third of the size of Charlie's but she had voluntarily eaten something. I was up a tree across the street now getting an unobstructed view of the kitchen. Charlie was unfortunately buoyed up by this new turn of events and wanted her to accompany him to La Push,

"No dad, I'm not ready for a bunch of hormonal teenagers and Jake's crush is beyond annoying. I'm not interested in him that way and I just can't cope with his incessant badgering at the moment! He just refuses to let it go like a grown up, I'd most likely use your gun to shoot him, just for the peace and quiet" she told him and he had the sense to drop the subject.

Seeing things from her point of view for once. That was good; she didn't need that kind of distress at present. Isabella wandered back up the stairs and once more slept and I was glad, her body needed to repair itself. I changed my position to the rear of the house; I'd never sit in the tree Edward constantly watched her from. Emmett joked he was a Peeping Tom or a stalker, he was right. I at least stayed back to give her some privacy.

This now became the norm for Isabella. I kept swapping out my jackets and each day she seemed to be more clear headed and responsive, soon she would be returning to school. She even showed some signs of wanting to move on, be her old self again and her weight was slowly increasing thank goodness.

When she awoke later the night before her return to Forks high on the 17th, for the last few days of the term. It was to another note and an energy bar. She would need to eat these kinds of things to help build her back up to full strength. This time she grabbed it up sniffed in and ripped it open,

If I was a Christmas present, who should I be?

Would you peel me open slowly, to look lovingly at me?

"My salvation, please be my salvation," she said in a much stronger voice than before.

Now wearing my latest jacket over her clothes, she had a small smile on her face for the first time since my return just over two weeks ago.

CP

I would be anything she wanted me to be, but first and foremost her protector. I knew he'd come sniffing around when he knew the full scope of what I had done. Edward would know why I had reacted as I had and he would want to, in his mind punish me, fool of a child. I made him and I can destroy him too.

He never really tried to understand vampire behaviour; he acted as if he was a breed apart. But as his sire, I could exert pressure upon him unlike any other. He liked to use vampire glamour on humans; I'll show him how it really works! If he dares to show his face in Forks again, he'll have to fight his own cowardice first and that gives me time to save Isabella.

I have no idea if they tried to reach me, I closed down their phone accounts, well, I was paying for them like everything else. I had the Sim cards locked; nobody would be able to use them but me. I have only received one phone call, from an unexpected quarter, today. Peter Whitlock,

"You've done the right thing, Carlisle, I can't believe they did that, and the Major backed them up! He's not welcome in Texas that's for damn sure. As long as he's with that bitch he's no brother of mine. Good luck and you have one week before the asshole shows up on Christmas Eve!" he said seething,

"Thank you, Peter, yes I'm bitterly disappointed in them all, but especially Jasper. Thanks for the heads up on Edward, I'm ready for him. He about to find out about what a vampire's sire can do!" I replied sarcastically and he laughed,

"Good for you Carlisle, I can't think of a better punishment, I once saw Maria order one of her own to rip themself to pieces and they had to comply, no matter how hard they tried not to!" he said with a bitter laugh.

"Yes, I have decided to make him pay greatly, and the freedom he so dearly loves is what it will cost him. I will also command him to feed only on animal vermin for as long as he exists.

Then order him to walk to Volterra, his days of luxury are over. Where he will confess all his sins and if Aro doesn't order his death, he will stay there and work for him for his long solitary eternity.

Even if Aro releases him he will be unable to leave, I will make sure and certain of that. He will be forbidden to take his own life; there will be no escape for Edward Masen. None of his pathetic, insincere 'I'm Sorry Carlisle' platitudes will save him this time" I said in a voice loaded with disgust and loathing.

"Ooh, devious and very Machiavellian! Remind me never to cross you in the future" he retorted laughing even harder.

CP

So I have one week before the idiot shows up. Good Isabella looks so much better and her health has improved greatly. Charlie's story for her absence was rheumatic fever, caused by the hypothermia she got after Edward dumped her in the forest; it allowed her damaged immune system to be compromised. I nearly took off after him when I heard that, his sheer callousness and cruel indifference to her life solidified my hatred of them all.

I thanked God Isabella was intelligent, she had worked through those ten weeks of homework in this last week alone. Several things stumped her and I left post-it notes, not telling her the answers, but pointing her in the direction to work it out herself. She had now caught up and would return to school able to slot right back in. Her first sign of real life was talking to Angela Webber.

Isabella called her last night, apologised for ignoring her and saying it was like having an out of body experience. She knew she should communicate but her body refused to comply and her brain wouldn't stay on anything long enough to help her. Angela was gracious and comforting about it all. She offered to pick her up the next morning and Isabella agreed. So her life was once more on track and I would soon be revealing myself.

I left a sweater for her to wear today; the jacket would have been a bit much. For the first time, she acknowledged my unseen presence in her life with a quiet,

"Thank you" and my heart soared.

I had rented a small log cabin on the outskirts of Forks, on the Port Angeles side and well away from the Quileutes. They would only find me if they came looking. I needed to be close but unseen for the last few months of Isabella's schooling. I wanted her to leave with me as if she was going off to college, but hopefully abroad.

England maybe, it would be nice to go home again. I had sold the monstrosity of a house we lived in occasionally, but I had a small one, in fact, it was once my father's home. Over the years it's changed beyond all recognition on the outside, but I keep the inside as close to the original as possible.

As a joke and to annoy Edward I think, Isabella had applied for the University of Roehampton, in London and I know she was accepted so it might be worth encouraging her to actually follow her dream. I have wondered if that was a subconscious move on her part. She still had time to accept and it would help with the leaving her family behind. I could also lecture there or nearby, as it wouldn't be any of her classes that would be fine.

But we need to talk, that is most important; I will not be taking her choices away from her. I also think she needs to grow a little before committing herself to this life and me. I will be acting more my own age from now on, again that was one of Edward's idea's to be seen as his father and not the competition I assume.

Why on earth was I so blind, he is nothing but a small minded immature child? Jealous of everyone and everything, changing him was my eternal mistake. I have never wanted anything that was his. He, on the other hand, coveted my wealth, my position and my mate. Now he has none because even with glamour he wasn't man enough to take what a woman had to offer. He was about to lose everything else to me, including his soul.

CP

As the next few days progressed, Isabella with Angela's help did some Christmas shopping online. She wasn't strong enough to go in person just yet. She arranged to make dinner for just her father and herself at home. Telling him he should go to La Push himself, while she cooked it. She decorated his little house and spoke to her mother on the phone. I too was shopping and setting up my cabin for the next few months.

The house here in Forks was the only one I saw the clearing out of personally. It gave me something to do and so much of my personal things were still here. I also got a sense of satisfaction from selling or destroying their things. Edward's Volvo took the brunt of my anger; it's now just a chunk of mangled metal.

I couldn't destroy Jasper's books, much as I'd like to. So I donated them to a Civil War Museum. I know they were bought with his own money, but he deserved some punishment. It had taken him years to compile and some were beyond rare and irreplaceable one-offs. Alice's real punishment was non-tangible. I took from her, my friends and contacts. I have made her persona non gratis in vampire circles. She will be ignored and ostracised, starting with the Denali's.

Her ability to see the future was disliked by many and only because of me was she accepted. Now I had disowned her, well they don't care why they too will turn their backs on her. Those two fools forgot who I was; I really do have friends in high places. I just don't use them for self-gratification and that's the difference between us. My friends like me for me and not what I can give them.

As the night turned into Christmas Eve I left my last note for Isabella, along with a Swan in flight pendant. I want her to have it even if she doesn't want me. I pray she knows it's me. I must go and await the arrival of Edward; I have no intention of allowing him near the Swan's house. I wish I could be there when she awakes.

Yes, I am your Christmas present, how can that be?

Well, I'm your Christmas kiss from (_); you've gotten him and me for eternity.

If you wish to redeem this. Please call out my name on Christmas day and I will come to you.

CP

Edward was easy to find, he was at the old house. In fact, he was standing over the remains of his Volvo, calling me all the names he could think of.

"Okay, I get it Carlisle, but this makes us even!" he had the gall to say,

"You think a car equates to a mate! Are you that immature boy?" I retort coming through the trees.

He flinches at my tone, one he has never heard from me before. I stare with loathing and disgust at him, he really is that stupid.

"There's no need to take that attitude Carlisle, I may have taken this a bit too far. But you're here now and she must be fine, since your still alive? So we can just put all this nonsense you've been doing behind us" he spouted, truly seeing himself in the right.

"On your knees before me child. I am your sire and I demand respect!" I say in a compelling and authoritative voice,

Edward struggles to stay standing, but he is and always was weak. Soon he crashes to his knees, confused and afraid.

"Better. I should have put you in your place long ago, hell I should never have ever changed you" I spat in barely concealed disgust and the fool started to see the error in his behaviour towards me.

"I..., I'm...," he started,

"Save it for one who cares child! You are about to learn a life lesson. Your eternity will be long and painful, learn to enjoy it, Edward!" I said, never letting up on the compelling tone in my speech.

Several hours later he was a sobbing mess, curled up on the ground at my feet. I had given him his instructions and no matter how long he tried to fight it he would eventually comply. I added three more for good measure, he could never sire anyone himself and he was forbidden to seek out his own mate, she must find him in Volterra.

For I would never wish him on anyone, lastly if he tried to read anyone's mind he would feel constant pain, worse than the burning of our change. I had never wanted to use my sires compel on any of them, but maybe I should have long ago. I had now rendered Edward useless by using psychological torture. The one thing he had to offer Aro, was no more!

"Go now, the sight of you disgusts me. Remember Edward for every day you delay on getting to Volterra, you must rip off one of your fingers. If you are not there by the tenth finger, you will burn them all! Do you understand me?" I demanded and he nodded weakly getting to his feet and staggering away.

CP

I had been aware we had an audience from the beginning. But they never interfered and I didn't draw attention to them.

"Doctor Cullen?" Sam Uley said quietly behind me and they all gasped as I turned with venom running down my face,

"I never thought I would ever have to do that, that one of my children would hurt me enough to make it necessary," I said sadly.

"Yes, I to hold a similar power, which I hope never to have to use. We were surprised to pick up your scents" he said as a way of explaining their presence,

"I came to sell the house, the coven has been disbanded. I am the only member and I will be leaving Port Angeles by the summer. I hope to return to Britain permanently" I say and he nods.

"From what we heard, she's your mate? He played with her and kept you apart?" he asked and I heard Jacob clear his throat,

"Shut up Jake; don't make me do to you what Carlisle has done to Edward! She is not yours and never will be. Even if vampires didn't exist she would not pick you, accept it!" Sam growled lowly and Jacob huffed but said no more.

"Thank you, Sam, yes Isabella is my mate. I will not be forcing or pushing her to become a vampire for a few years, her early twenties would be better for her and I want her to have a life first. It won't be here, probably not even America, it all depends if she accepts me" I say and he nods wisely, they have a similar set up to us.

"Where are you staying?" he asked and I explained how it was outside of their patrol area and I should not trigger any more phasing's unless they seek me out,

"Goodbye Doctor, I won't say it was a pleasure, but it was very educational!" Sam said reaching out his hand, which I gladly shook.

CP

By the time I returned to Isabella's house she was once more asleep and tomorrow would be Christmas day. I was surprised to see a note and small parcel on her window ledge. I took the both gingerly and retreated to a tree further out.

'You know that saying; I saw this and thought of you. Well, I did and here it is. It's not as beautiful as your present, but no less special, I hope.

I'm sorry it's taken so long to shake off Edward's thrall; he had my mind warped beyond recognition. But your clothes have helped tremendously, funny how I remembered your scent above all the others.

See you tomorrow I hope'

She remembered my scent, she thinks she knows who I am, I muse on this as I open the little parcel and see a snow globe inside. She does know it's me; I smile as I shake the globe and watch the snow fall on the spires of St Pauls Cathedral in London. I was still there on the edges of human civilisation when Christopher Wren started to build it in 1675. The Old 11th Century St Pauls having succumbed to the flames of the Great Fire in 1666.

I could barely wait until Isabella called my name later today, I now knew without a shadow of a doubt she knew who I was. But did she want me as her mate, only time would tell? I watch as the new day dawned and the Swans stirred. Charlie tried to make breakfast for his daughter, but she shooed him away before he burned the house down. Every so often she would stare out the window wistfully.

About ten Charlie set off for the reservation, loaded down with presents and food Isabella had made. I waited as patiently as I could, on tenterhooks. Finally, I heard her slide the turkey into the oven and pour herself some coffee.

"You can come in now, I believe you owe me a kiss! Thank you for making this a Merry Christmas Carlisle" she said quietly, but I heard and was at the door immediately, as she opened it I smiled for the first time in weeks at the piece of mistletoe she held above her head.

"Merry Christmas, my Isabella," I said before I gathered her to me and pressed my lips to hers at last.