Orokid: This was something that I wrote, thinking about the moment when Minako would have to come out to the public about her relationship with a certain fire expert… as well as the backlash that might occur.
There are things said in this particular fic that are hurtful, very much so, to people who are gay- people like me, just so you know. There are things in this that I wrote, hurting myself in the process… because I've met people, I've heard them say things like what you'll read, and I've hurt and cried because of them. That's the only warning that I'll give to this fic, other than the fact that it does have, y'know… GAYness in here. Haha
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Sailor Moon, including the television series PGSM- the series in which I took some of the characters and wrote an entire plot with. I wrote this fic for fun and not for profit, and will be making none with what I've written.
Beloved
Minako gazed at the television with quiet eyes, hugging a pillow against her chest while doing her best not to let the tears fall from her eyes. Before her, upon the screen that had once caused her such fame and fortune, were images that she had once thought were meaningless, based upon others' insecurities and hatred. There had been a time where she had thought that nothing would occur, that the world was better than most gave it credit for- but, as she watched people hold up her once popular cds only to throw them hard against the concrete ground, their feet meeting her face upon the cover, she found herself cursing her naïvety. The world remained fearful of change, of things that they didn't understand- and she was nothing more than a victim of a twisted version of their religions that could only hurt her.
She should have known. She should have known just how ignorant people had gotten in their years of false security of books that spoke of nothing but love and understanding, of the pastors and preachers that taught them to hate despite what the words had said within their hands.
"Heaven help the ears that heard the devil from her songs."
The young woman felt her arms tighten around the pillow that she coddled against her form, a tear slowly drifting down her cheek. Those words bit at her, tearing away her skin until their claws scratched at the surface of her soul, hurting her more than anyone could ever know. The music that she had made over the years had been a part of her, a part that she had never spoken aloud for the fear that she'd be denied, was questioned, persecuted because of something she couldn't help- and the people that had once held her songs close to heart turned upon her, despised her heartfelt words.
"She was hoping to turn us into- into THOSE types of people! I know it!" A spit to the ground, angry eyes gazing into the camera as the crew continued to film. "Disgusting woman."
Her hands gripped at the cloth, lowering her head against the softness of what she held so tightly, wanting what comfort it could give. She could still recall the smiles she had once given to the world with her tunes, the laughter that she gave to children when they needed it the most… but it was tainted now, darkened from the revulsion that they now showed. To her, they were nothing more than a distant memory now, slowly fading away from her heart and soul with every word the world threw at her.
"How many faggots did she recruit from our children? Too many! That vile wo-"
In an instant, the screen was dark, a reflection the only thing that greeted her tear filled orbs within the walls of the rectangle television. There, she could see soft chocolate eyes watching her, silent yet all knowing of the things that weren't said aloud. The young idol could see a remote within the woman's gentle hands- the cause to the darkness that appeared before her.
Quietly, her footsteps silent as she made her way to the couch that the singer was upon, the long haired, dark eyed girl seated herself down. She didn't wait for consent, didn't care if she received it or not, as she reached over and pulled the young woman toward her- and the pillow fell aside as Minako's arms encircled her waist firmly.
"You shouldn't be watching that, Mina." The woman's words were soft, gentle, loving, and the usually cheery eyed girl could feel her lover's hands move against her back in hope to sooth the tears that were flowing. Lips pressed against the young woman's forehead, tenderly running her fingertips against the idol's lower back. "They're cruel. They just don't understand."
"I know." The girl's words were soft as a whisper, painfully quiet as she did her best to hold tight to a sob that remained within her throat. "I know, Reiko." Her body hiccupped against her lover, eyes flowing with streams against the other's shoulder. The idol held tighter to the woman that held her so peacefully with her hands, burying her beautiful features into the nook of the woman's neck. "Why do they have to say such hurtful things if they don't understand it?" Minako sobbed, her voice raspy with tears, ever hopeful that she may retain just a few of them.
Rei merely rocked the girl, hushing quietly into the night at the woes that had stricken her beloved. "I don't know," she whispered in return, her voice lost in a desperation that she couldn't escape. She was doing her best to stay strong, to be the rock that brought shelter from the storm, but she couldn't deny the feelings that coursed along through her every fiber of being- hopelessness.
Moments passed the couple by in the silence of the room, and the sobs of the girl eventually dissipated- but they remained, locked tight in each other's embrace, listening to the sound of the world pass them by just outside the room they were in. The singer looked up toward her lover, fear for their future, their love, wonder of what the world had in store for them in the morning, shining in her eyes. With a whisper, she couldn't help but ask, "Do you know I love you, Reiko-chan?"
"Yes, Mina." A rare smile graced the lips of the stern faced woman, gazing at her lover gently, adoringly- in a way that no one had ever assumed she could care for another. "With all my heart."
"Good." The idol snuggled against the bosom of her comfort, her affection, a small grin upon her face as she stealthily forced the other woman to lay back against the couch that they were upon.
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The ride to her concert had normally been fun, fans screaming as she would pull up to the curb, throwing themselves onto the hood of the vehicle in hopes to see just a hint of the idol. She had found amusement in the craziness that people bought out whenever they were around her, reaching out as far as they could in hopes to touch her arm with the very tips of their fingers. She could recall them screaming her name in unison before she would even think of opening the door, knowing how much they yearned to see her just once in their lives.
But this ride was different- more so than she could have ever thought was possible.
The second the car had pulled up to the curb, her stomach was knotted, and her hands wrung her wrists as she looked out from the safety of the tinted windows. There before her very eyes were people, hands holding tight to signs that spoke of hatred and pain, picketing her music and concert. The police had been released, although she couldn't name how long they had been there, holding back the angry crowds with a force she had never seen them use before. The people who were once her fans were screaming, though she couldn't hear exactly what they were saying- although she could only guess that their words weren't nice, no matter how much she might wish and pray they were.
"Go back where you came from, you fuckin' dyke!"
"God will make you pay for your sins!"
"Go get AIDS with the fags!"
"You're all going to Hell!"
"Go spread your gay on someone else's kids!"
Minako felt her hands tighten into fists, her nails biting into her black jean pants as she silently lowered her head and closed her eyes. Over her years questioning her faith and mortality, she had always wondered if there really was such a place, the one they sought to throw her into- and yet, there she was, knee deep in an eternity of fire and brimstone that she wished could just end and let her be. And if this wasn't where the fiery pits of Hell was located, then she knew that it was only a few moments, seconds, away from where she stood.
She could feel the tears threaten her eyes once again, tasting the bitterness of their hatred in the air, hating only the emotions their fear evoked from them. Even while their words and actions attacked her, pained her heart in a way that no one else could deny, there was no way that she could ever throw the same anger, the same loathing they had for her, toward them.
Beside her, a gentle hand moved to gently squeeze at her knee, hoping to calm the young singer before the tears would fall. Silently, she slight her own atop the soft skin of her comforter, squeezing it back.
"Eh… Minako-san." The idol lifted her head, gazing at the older gentleman that held a cell phone to his ear. She could read in his features the words he couldn't say, the things he couldn't deny, and she knew that whatever he had to say might not be the kindest thing to hear. "Um… The station is saying that they were offered an anonymous substantial amount if we, um… pull out from the concert." The young woman's watery brown orbs softened, hurt from the idea that there were people who were willing to try and pay her off instead of allow her to perform before what was left of her fan base. "But- but- but!" he offered the girl a gentle smile, a fatherly grin that he had worn for many a year since they had first started their journey together as singer and producer. "They want you to decide."
The young idol felt her eyes downcast to the velvet casing of the inside of the car, her mind a whirl with possibilities that normally wouldn't have crossed her mind in any other time. She was just tired of it all already, driven sick by words of ignorant people, becoming always worried that someone might turn a corner with a gun in their pocket, a bullet just for her- just because she loved someone. All she wanted to do right then was go home, bury herself underneath the covers of her bed, and not return to the mortal world until the people who caused her such heartache realized their folly. She wanted to disappear and never be heard from again, to hold a pillow over her head and cry tears that she never let fall in front of anyone.
It was then she had felt the subtle movement beside her, a hand sliding to hold quietly onto hers for comfort and empathy. Raising her head, the idol gazed silently at the woman beside her, a pained look in her eyes as she tried to find any and every reason she could to give the people what they wanted in the dark orbs that watched her ever so vigilant.
A small smile graced her features, a tear silently falling down her cheek as she lowered her head back down, giving her lover's hand quick but meaningful squeeze. This person, her Reiko, was the one person whom she had cried on numerous times, who had held her through many a night through the various emotions she felt. It was her who remained after everyone left, the only one who truly mattered in her life after all was said and done. It was her beloved who fueled her music, who gave her lyrics to sing, who taught her what love really was.
And so it would be her lover who stood in the stands, listening quietly to the songs that she sang just for her, no matter what some high paying hypocrite paid to quiet her. Besides, since when was she ever truly beaten down? She came back to life to live, to love… and to sing. "Thanks, but no thanks." Her words were strong, and, as her bright eyes opened to gaze at her manager, there was a passion and a fire that had been almost extinguished moments prior. "The show will go on- no matter what."
Yet, no matter how strong she seemed, it was the grip upon Rei's hand that kept her from shaking and quaking in the anxiousness and fear that she felt.
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Her dressing room remained the same as it always had… although she noted that there was a substantial amount of her usual gifts and letters from her fans missing. Minako inhaled deeply, trying to forget the world of innocence that she used to live in, as well as the adoration she had once sought from the people whom she had thought had loved her.
Biting her bottom lip, the young idol moved toward her usual desk, one that was normally stacked high with make-up or outfits that the company wanted her to wear. Instead, a small mound of letters had been placed, each set down carefully so that it made a partial half-circle. Gazing at them with interested eyes, she sat down upon the stool nearby, picking up the first with quiet ease.
Slipping easily through each envelope, she read with curiosity and wonder, sometimes fighting within herself to keep reading as tears would spring up into her eyes.
The first person had been barely fourteen, an age she had remembered as a time for normal children to learn about themselves, about others, relationships and to start learning the ways of a world which paid them little heed. Attached had been an article, small and lost within the local papers she could tell, of a beating that had occurred- and the letter spoke of their pain, both in and out, as they relearned how to walk. He talked about how it was her music that held him in the most hopeless of nights, and that when the news came to his little town that she was just like him… That he had shed tears out of happiness, thankful that somewhere out there was saying that it was normal to love someone the world thought as a sin.
The second was the telling of a girl who had almost committed suicide, had the gun in her mouth and tears down her face, and ready to end it all… until Ce La Vie had come on the radio in the room upstairs. She thanked her idol, even called her a 'goddess in the flesh', for being true to herself, and told her to always believe in her heart no matter what the world said about her- and that she'd always have a fan in a fifteen year old girl who thought that being 'different' was something that needed to be removed.
The third, the fourth, the fifth… Stories of heartache and love, of torture, of death and life, of siblings and parents, flooded through the letters she read, most children that hadn't yet gotten the chance to live, some adults who found her music all that kept them going. It surprised her, caught her off guard in a way that no one could ever know- and a powerful, prideful feeling developed within her heart like never before. People, young and old, new listeners and old friends, continued to listen, to find solace within her music.
They empowered her, wholly, completely.
And if she was going to be the poster child for a movement, just because her love for her one and only beloved Reiko, then so be it.
"Read anything worth reading?" The gentleness of Rei's voice soothed the growing frustration that built within the idol, yet the pride that bubbled within refused to go away. In all truths, that was the last that she would ever want, enjoying the feeling in her chest… although she could admit that it felt similar yet different to the feelings that she held for the one who was encircling her arms around her neck. Resting her chin upon Minako's shoulder, the young woman scanned the words silently of the letter that her lover, her confidant, held in her hands.
Turning her head, Mina pressed her lips against the girl's throat, pressing small fluttering kisses up to her jaw and then to the sugared taste of her beloved's mouth. They held to each other, lip to lip, for a good while, enjoying the other's company and the feeling of each others' hearts racing because of the one they loved.
As the dark eyed, brooding young woman pulled away from the sweetness of the idol, she couldn't help the twinkle that remained within her eyes. "Now… what was that for?" Her words was quiet, almost as though they were a secret between them, and the singer could only smile at the emotion she could feel come from the one before her.
"For always being there. For loving me. For… everything, Rei." She nuzzled into the crook of her lover's neck, a soft smile upon her lips as she waited for the world to butt in to the precious moments that they had. "I love you. Always." 'Let the world come. Let them attack, sling their words and try to make us hurt. I can do anything… as long as I have you, Reiko… my beloved.'
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Orokid: Well… this was partially a downer. I know that because I've felt a little depressed in the days that I sat down and wrote it. The reason why I kept having Rei be the, well… 'upper' of the entire situation is because, sometimes, that's all that one person really needs to remind them that not everything is horrible, and that the world is bearable as long as one has whom they are fated to be with beside them. I know that because… well, I have my girlfriend, my love and my life, and she makes me smile no matter how much I want to cry. She is the light at the end of my tunnel, and she is everything I'll ever want.
Anyway… if you have a comment, an opinion, whatever, please review and tell me anything and everything. You're awesome, and you'll always be awesome to me, whoever you are. Also, thank you for always supporting me, and for reading my fics no matter how good or bad they are. That's all I wanted to say.^_^