Disclaimer - Not mine. Not yet.
Been ill and off school today so I decided to tap out this little one-shot. Don't you just love Remus?
For Want of Chocolate
Remus sighs and rubs at his temples, why he has do this he has no idea. If it was up to him then he would be curled up in his favourite armchair by the fire with his book (The Lord of the Rings) and a lovely bar of chocolate.
Chocolate.
The root of al his weaknesses. Chocolate is the reason he agreed to do this; a disgusting amount of the stuff had been promised to him if he completed his task.
He spots his target. She is moving at a moderate pace with her satchel on the left side of her body and one book in hand. Judging by the direction she is heading and the cheerful expression on her face she has just returned from tutoring first years in potions. He makes his move - it's now or never.
"Lily!" he exclaims slapping a smile on his face "How are you this fine day?"
The redhead appears taken aback by Remus' enthusiastic meeting but smiles all the same."I'm good Remus, thanks. How about you?"
"Me Lily? I'm wonderful - as chipper as can be!"
Lily's a little worried now."Remus…are you high?" she questions. Indeed he looks high with his wide-eyed smile and over the top gestures; even the way he is walking with an odd little bounce in his step suggests that he has been stealing cuttings from the Herbology greenhouses.
"Ha ha, high on your company perhaps!" he smiles the maniacal grin once more and Lily's expression changes immediately from slight worry to high suspicion now.
Her eyes narrow as she says "Remus you're a terrible actor, now cut the crap and tell me what you want"
For a brief moment Remus considers keeping up the façade but seeing the impatience in Lily's face sends shivers up his spine. "Fine," he relents "fine. I just wanted to ask you something"
"Oh Remus!" Lily is truly annoyed now "You already know that Dorcas Young fancies you so stop asking me!"
"That's not what I was going to - wait! Dorcas does fancy me?" he asks sidetracking entirely. He's dreamed of the day Dorcas Young would notice him! Perhaps later they could meet up and he could ask her out, maybe he could ask her under the beech tree by the lake - it was the most romantic spot of Hogwarts after all.
"Yes Remus she's been practically stalking you for the last year or so!" Something about that revelation snapped Remus out of his blissful reverie.
"Speaking of stalkers" he says swiftly
"Are you ever going to give James a chance?"
Lily explodes "I knew you were going to ask me something like that! Why can't he ask me himself, he sent Black after me last month!"
"Really? He sent Sirius? That is possibly the worst idea I've ever heard"
"Yes it is! He kept staring at a Amara Vane and her short skirt!" Lily looks truly infuriated by this behaviour and her cheeks turn even redder than they were before.
Remus shakes his head "I keep saying we have to get him neutered but no will listen, James is far too soft on him-" He stops at the disapproving noise that Lily is making in the back of her throat at the mention of James.
"Remus. I like you," she begins "but if you keep following James Potter's stupid orders then I shall be forced to take drastic action!"
Remus bites his lip. He needs that chocolate."I just think that you could be very happy if you took James up on his offer of having lots of sex and babies" he says innocently.
He knows it's a mistake before he has even finished the sentence though thankfully his quick reflexes allow him to duck away from Lily's fist.
Lily brushes a stray hair from her face. "I have a proposition for you, if you stop banging on about Potter then I will give you so much chocolate that your head will explode"
Looking sceptical Remus says "How much is that though? What to you is a lot is probably a normal snack size to me, seriously the Healers say that much theobromine should kill me."
"This much" Lily says fishing a piece of parchment and a notebook from her satchel and scribbling down a number.
Remus' eyes widen.
"Miss Evans you've got yourself a deal"
Remus walks into his dormitory, ready to sit down and read The Lord of the Rings.
"Moony, Moony, Moony! How it go, what did she say?" an excited voice comes from the corner. James is sat cross-legged on his bed with his tie around his head and Remus' book in front of him.
"Why do you have a tie on your head?" is the first thing Remus asks.
James shrugs."Help me get a feel of the book I suppose"
"What on earth have ties got to do with Lord of the Rings?"
"God knows. I have to say though mate, this book is piss boring!" he exclaims pointing to the book in disgust.
Remus looks affronted as he sits on the opposing bed."No it's not it's not it's a classic"
"Classic bore, maybe. Anyway what did Lily say?" James is bouncing slightly with excitement as he says this.
Not wanting to jeopardise the delivery of his chocolate Remus says first "Give me the chocolate before I tell you"
"It's in a crate under my bed"
Elated Remus jumps off of his own bed and dives under James' to drag out the monstrous crate of sweet, sweet chocolate.
"Oh darling, darling I love you" he whispers tenderly.
James looks abashed, "Remus I'm flattered but-"
"I wasn't talking to you"
"Right… so what did Lily say?"
Remus looks at James' expectant face with its wide hazel eyes and decides to soften the blow slightly."She er, she said she'd think about it but it's not looking good mate" he says with a sympathetic smile.
Crest fallen James stops bouncing. He glances down into his knees and mutters "Did she say anything else?"
"Well, she said to stop sending Sirius after her. Apparently all he does is flirt with girls"
"Oh. I might have to take you up on your idea to get him neutered"
"Yeah" Remus says saying anything James starts to pull his curtain shut around his bed."What are you doing?" Remus questions, puzzled.
"I'm going to curl up in misery!" he says melodramatically.
Several minutes pass in which James has pulled all his curtains shut and enclosed himself in a red tinted darkness.
It takes a moment for Remus to realise what he is missing.
"Erm, James?" he says tentatively, "Can I have my book back?"
"No Remus. I'm wallowing with it."
Oh well, Remus thinks opening his crate, at least I have my chocolate.