Derek silently entered the bedroom he shared with Emily and stood leaning against the doorframe, watching as she stood in front of the full-length mirror in her underwear, studiously examining her reflection, running her fingers over her scars.
After watching her for a minute or two, he approached and wrapped his arms around her waist, planting a tender kiss where her neck met her shoulder. "What are you doing, baby?"
"Thinking," she answered quietly, meeting his gaze in the reflection of the mirror.
"About what?"
Her gaze fell back to her stomach. "The scars."
"What about the scars?" he murmured in her ear, stroking her arms lightly.
She pursed her lips as she traced the knotted tissue, but remained silent. At length, a little ashamed, she mumbled, "About maybe getting…cosmetic surgery to fix them…"
"Okay…" he said slowly, "You want to remove them? Is it safe?"
"Mother is friends with a respected surgeon. He offered to do it pro bono."
"Are you going to do it?"
She sighed a little. "I don't know. Maybe. Do you want me to?"
"This isn't about me, it's about you. If you want it, then you know I'm behind you all the way," he assured gently.
She pouted. "But really… What do you really think?"
"I think that whether the scars are there or not, the way I feel about you doesn't change. I love you."
"Derek," she said in a pleading whine, "That's not what I asked."
"Can I ask you something?" When she nodded, he continued. "Why do you want to fix them? It's about more than just the scars, isn't it?"
"Because I can!" she exclaimed, whirling around out of his arms. "They're the one damn thing I can fix!"
He rested his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Emily, you are not broken! You don't need to be 'fixed'. You are beautiful just the way you are."
"Oh, bullshit!" She glared at him. "It's every crap thing I've ever done emblazoned on my skin for everyone to see!"
"No, it's not," he insisted, "It's what you did for your family – you have those scars because you risked your life for our safety. You need to stop beating yourself up for something that isn't your fault."
"Come on, call a spade a spade. It's my fucking fault and everyone knows it!"
"This is not your fault. No one thinks that." He folded her into a tight hug. "Tell me what's really bothering you."
"I'm telling you what's wrong!" she snapped, frustrated.
"I know you, Emily. And I know that it's not just about that. Is it about me?"
"Your opinion matters to me." Then, in a quiet mumble, she added, "For the short time until you leave me."
He was genuinely confused. "What do you mean? I'm not going to leave you – I love you."
"For now… I know how angry you were when you found out what I did with Ian. It's only a matter of time."
"I told you. I was never angry about what you did with Doyle, I was angry that you ran away from me. But you're here now and that is all I wanted for the past seven months. I could never leave you."
Her eyes cast downward. "No one ever stays."
"I'm staying. And when we're eighty and toothless, I will still be there. You are not broken and you certainly don't need fixing. You are my family and the love of my life. I'm not leaving. Ever."
"You can't say that!" She was practically shouting. "You don't know!"
"I can. I know. I will be there as long as I live. I love you so much, Emily, and I don't know why you can't see how perfect you are." He held her so tightly it was hard to breathe.
She teared up a little. "I love you so much – you don't even know – and it hurts me that someday you're not going to love me back."
"That will never ever happen. You don't understand…I was without you once and it was the worst thing I've ever had to go through. I don't want to be without you again. It's not just about wanting to be with you. I need you."
She said nothing, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing against his shoulder. He held her close until her sobs abated and she leaned up for a kiss.
"Don't you ever think for one single second that I'm going to leave you," he said seriously.
"Why me?" she whispered.
"You're smart, beautiful, funny…you're Emily. I love you just the way you are. No matter how flawed you think you are, you will always be perfect in my eyes."