InheriCraft: When Minecraftian horrors meet…um…Inherited horrors?
(insert author's note here)=AN *something occurring within the story but not dialogue*
Chapter One: Worlds Collide (a.k.a. Eragon's a Pervert, whodathunkit?)
^Our story begins with Eragon, Orik, Arya and Saphira all heading to Ellesmera through the Hadrac Desert because that is where I want them to be and I'm the author.^
*a silhouette appears on the horizon: it appears to be made of cardboard, but the coloration is impossible to tell from the sun almost directly behind it*
Saphira: what is that thing? *pointing her head toward the silhouette*
Eragon: I don't know Saphira. Hey Arya, want to join me on an exiting, slightly dirty solo scouting mission?
Arya: *thinking* dammit Eragon, you know I can't say no because I am supposed to be your protector. *sigh* fine Eragon, lets go.
Orik: ok, you two hav' much fun now, ya hearin' me lads? (Orik, I might add, is a *tad* tipsy)
Eragon: *grins*
Arya: *comes dangerously close to rolling eyes*
Saphira: *snorts* just go already
*the two head out toward the thing at an angle. Eragon is following Arya who is desperately hoping the thing is something capable of killing the Rider*
(Saphira is watching what is happening through Eragon's eyes) Saphira: dammit little one, look at something other than Arya's behind for once. I feel dirty even though I have no control over your eyes
Eragon (to Saphira): sorry…puberty and horemones and all that…
Saphira: whatever. You are getting close. What…what is that thing? *projecting her thoughts to Arya as well with her last question*
(be warned…probably the most OOC sentence I could have Arya say, perhaps other than *dramatic voice* "Orik…I am your mother"…yea…anyway)
Arya: Its….i think it's a…yep. It's a giant green dick.
Eragon: *stunned expression* Arya! You are the Elvin Princess and stuff! You are above such vulgar sayings! And…and…Islanzadi would disapprove!
Arya: *disinterested look* meh. I don't care what Mother thinks anymore, and ive been around humans so long that I guess they sort of rubbed off on me a little.
Eragon: *reacts very awkwardly at her last phrase*
Saphira: *vaguely repulsed* WHAT IS THE THING ALREADY?
Arya: I don't know.
*the creature starts to approach, revealing a blocky form with mottled green skin, a decidedly pissed-off scowl and pitch black eyes; the two elves draw their swords*
Eragon: Capt'n, unidentified object approaching fast dead ahead…20 meters…15…10….5…
Arya: *distracted by the annoying Rider* shut up Eragon….AGHHHHHHHHHHH!
*the creature's head starts to swell almost cartoon-like, then it explodes violently, throwing Arya back*
Eragon: I'LL SAVE YOU MY LOVE *throws himself on top of her to, um, "protect" her*
*SLAP*
Arya: PERVERT! *throws him off of her*
Saphira: *somehow magages to send feelings of intense annoyance and even more intense amusement simultaneously*
Eragon: *ahem* uh, so anyway…WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT? AND ARE YOU OK MY LOVE? *starts toward her to "inspect her for injuries"
Arya: *draws sword as a precaution* im fine Eragon. Just a bit winded.
Orik: *panting* *more panting* *yet more pant-holy crap man they were like 50 meters away-I mean-panting* wha was that explosion? (FUMBLEMORRRRRREEE!^)
Arya: im not sure. *closes her eyes and mutters a lengthy incantation to heal herself*
Eragon: *instantly starts to try to cop a feel, then hears some of the words she is saying, such as thrysta (break) and penythious (do I really have to tell you), then instantly starts to back away*
Arya: *smirks and finishes her spell, quickly adding other words to cancel the more 'painful' aspects of the spell*
Eragon: *pretending nothing happened* ok then…I guess we should be off to Ellesmera then-maybe Oromis will know what that was…
(yes I do know this is kindof a ripoff of Evilshallgiggle-she had the idea first, im just rollin with it because I think it's a cool idea…its breaking the 4th wall, of course its cool!)
Arya: heh. Looks like this story isn't quite as bad as Evilshallgiggle's after all….at least I don't have to wear his clothing.
Eragon: um, im right here Arya.
Alexycon: so am I! Muahahahaha bow down to your new fanfic god!
Arya: no thanks…im an atheist.
Alexycon: oh wait so am I…crap…I guess I cant be an atheistic god can i? oh well, just pretend I have all the Eldunari in the world. Better?
Eragon: oh shi* you're worse than Galby! DIE SCUM!
Alexycon: slytha.
Eragon: *yawn* goodnight moon…
Arya: yea…Im liking this story way better…
Eragon: *mutters in his magical sleep* yes Arya? You want to bear my children? Sweeeeeeet.
Arya: erm.
Alexycon: heh.
_ END OF CH 1
^the (FUMBLEMORRRRRRRRREE!) is a refrence to the Yogscast
"Boys and Girls, can YOU guess what the green pixelat-I mean boxy exploding meme-y thing was? You can? You say it's a…*sigh* no its not a pedophile…dumb kids and their weird terms…'creeper'…bah"
Did you like the story? Do you want more? Do you have suggestions? Awesome!
Do you have flames for me/my story? They will be redirected to burn down my school, so those are appreciated too!
This was my first fanfic-thanks so much for reading, you guys are awesome!