Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters - these were created by Eric Kripke - I'm just borrowing them. I'm not making any commercial gain. No harm or infringement intended.

Castiel is furious with Dean. Alternative to season 7. WARNING: Suicide/Death/DarkFic. Implied Dean/Cas.

For Nic. I forgive you.

~#~

End of the World

Angels have no thought of ever returning you – 'Gloomy Sunday', Billie Holiday

~#~

"I'm so angry with you," screamed Cas incandescent with rage. He felt trapped, hemmed in and unable to breathe, "How could you do this to me?"

Dean remained silent.

"I know it's been a long while since we last spoke. I guess I'm the exhibit filed under 'fair-weather friend'," he laughed humorlessly.

"I made so many mistakes, but I did it all for you. Doesn't that at least count for something?" he asked, his eyes glistening.

He took a deep, shuddering breath, "I'm sorry, I know I've been such a disappointment to you. And when you really needed me I wasn't there," he said, his voice cracking and he had to stop for a moment to compose himself.

He gazed into Dean's eyes, as ever amazed by their beauty as they sparkled in the fading, evening light.

"I was so caught up in my own problems, I didn't ever really consider yours. I thought you'd manage, that you didn't really need me. You've always been the strong one, the one everyone turns to."

He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, his voice liquid with tears.

"But why did you think you weren't worth saving?"

The tears came thick and fast now, as Cas reached out at last to grab Dean's hand in his, "I know I should have seen how bad you were hurting, but couldn't you even have asked me for help?" he cried in guilt and desperation.

"I would have done anything for you," he added in a small, broken voice, for the moment unable to even look at Dean.

"How could you not realize you had people who cared about you? Why do we find it so hard to reach out when we need help?" his voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Dean, but I can't forgive this," he sobbed, with a flare of anger.

"And now you're beyond my reach," he said as he leaned forward and, with a gentle motion, forever closed Dean's eyes with his hand.

With a heavy heart he walked off, trying to prepare himself for the impossible task of breaking the news to Sam.

~#~

A/N: No matter how bad you feel, or how hopeless things seem, please remember that there are always people you can talk to.

www . samaritans . org

(remove the spaces)