More Rules of Avengers Mansion
Author's Note: Hey, folks! L1701E here, saying hi! I was searching for some inspiration, and I decided to do a sequel one-shot to my fic "Rules of Avengers Mansion"! That's right, there are more rules for our young Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Enjoy!
Special thanks to Haretrigger for a couple of these rules
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics. Sonic Blue is mine.
And there came a day. A day unlike any other, when Earth's Mightiest Heroes found themselves united against a common threat. On that day, the Avengers were born – to fight the foes no single superhero could withstand! Heed the call for then – for now, the Avengers Assemble!
Earth's Mightiest Roster:
Captain America (Steve Rogers) – The Star-Spangled Sentinel of Liberty
Wasp (Janet Van Dyne) – Heroic shrinking heiress
Ant-Man (Hank Pym) – Size-changing scientist
Iron Man (Tony Stark) – Armored Avenger
Thor – Norse God of Thunder
Sonic Blue (Spencer Burton) – Steel-armored speedster of Cincinnati
Jubilee (Jubilation Lee) – Mutant mistress of fireworks
She-Hulk (Jennifer Walters) – Gamma-powered Amazon powerhouse
Hawkeye (Clint Barton) – Wise-cracking archer
Tigra (Greer Grant-Nelson) – Fun-loving feline Avenger
Avengers Mansion
"Tum te tum with Amy..." Jarvis, the Avengers' ever-loyal and ever-dependable butler, put a framed document on the wall. It was next to another framed document. (1) The butler then walked away. A few minutes later, one Spencer Burton walked by, and he happened to notice it.
"I wonder if the mailman arrived with that copy of...oh..." The young genius noticed the new framed document. "Oh, dear..." He sighed. " Cap's got some more rules up. I'd better get the others. They're going to want to see this." A little while later, the rest of the young Avengers were gathered around the document.
"What'd the old man outlaw this time?" Clint joked.
Rule #11) No joyriding in the Quinjet
"Oh, come on! That was one time!" Jubilee groaned.
"What's the point of having a Quinjet if we don't fly the stupid thing?" Clint complained.
"Those things are expensive, you know." Spencer reminded. "And I'm not surprised Jubilee took the Quinjet. Didn't you make off with the X-Jet once, Jubes?"
"Don't. Go. There." Jubilee warned.
Rule #12) If you decide to break Rule #12, at least try to return the Quinjet in one piece and with a full gas tank
"That...may be a tall order." Jen winced.
"I think this was because Jubes crashed the Quinjet." Clint remembered.
"That was not my fault!" Jubilee snapped.
"Of course, Jubes. It was all that mean old mountain's fault. The mountain you could've avoided." Spencer rolled his eyes.
"The steering column locked up!" Jubilee exclaimed in her own defense.
"Yeah, and it didn't help that the pilot was just sitting there, staring at the oncoming mountain with an open mouth until the last second." Greer shook her head.
"You want to be skinned alive?!" Jubilee growled. Tigra hissed in response.
"Calm down, you two." Jen moved to separate them. "Just be glad everyone's okay."
Rule #13) Close the front door when you come in or leave. Gyrich has been nagging us a lot lately about that.
"Screw Gyrich. He ain't the boss of us." Clint crossed his arms.
"He can revoke our security clearance, man." Spencer groaned.
"Clint's the one who leaves the door open, anyway. The rest of us didn't grow up in barns." Jen mocked.
"I told you, Green-Jeans." Clint reminded. "I grew up in a circus. They use tent flaps. Tent flaps that close themselves. Give me a break."
"You think Gyrich is still mad at us for the birthday party we gave him?" Greer blinked.
"Well, the birthday cake did explode." Spencer nodded. "His face matched his hair."
"He acted like we did that on purpose, that's what bugs me." Jen frowned. "I ended up putting too much yeast in it."
"Nice job, Emeril LaGreen-Jeans." Clint snickered, clapping his hands sarcastically.
"At least we didn't go with your stupid idea of putting a stripper in the cake, you pig." Jen snorted.
"He would've liked the stripper." The blond archer known as Hawkeye argued.
"Does Gyrich even like girls?" Spencer scratched his head.
"He doesn't like anything." Greer rolled her green cat-like eyes.
"And again, nice cooking." Clint joked.
"At least I cook better than Jean Grey or Kitty Pryde!" Jen snapped.
"Yeah, Jen's cooking never made people sick or came to life and tried to eat us." Jubilee nodded.
"Like the brownies Kitty sent us." Spencer shook his head. "I never saw Cap traumatized until then."
Rule #14) No playing pranks on Gyrich. Keep in mind he can prevent us from operating.
"CLINT." The other young Avengers glared at the blond archer.
"Oh, come on! That guy needs to loosen up. Even more than Cap." The ex-carny groaned.
"You glued a rainbow afro on his head." Spencer reminded, shooting the archer a 'you-lost-your-mind' look.
"Oh yeah? Razor dedicated a song to Gyrich live on TV. All he did was strum his guitar and sing the line 'you are a pansy' for three minutes." Clint countered.
"The fans loved it." Spencer shrugged.
"I'm not the only one here who pranks Gyrich. Jubilee managed to sneak food coloring into the showerhead once, and he and Jen looked like they were related for a week!" Clint complained.
"And Tigra likes to tackle him." Jen added.
"And Jen, you once knocked him down the stairs." Spencer recalled.
"That was an accident." The green-skinned girl answered.
Rule #15) No dancing contests late at night. Or singing. We're Avengers, not reality show contestants.
"Some of us do like to sleep at night." Spencer nodded.
"Good luck, with Tigra's caterwauling." Clint scowled at the Feline Avenger.
"I'm not that bad!" She defended.
"Kid, Britney at the VMAs sung better than you. And she didn't sing at all." Jen frowned.
"When has she ever sang live?" Spencer frowned.
"Why can't you just leave her alone?!" Jubilee wailed.
Rule #16) If the Wasp wants you to attend her fashion shows, please try to show some respect. I know they're boring, but she'd really appreciate it.
"Spencer fell asleep at the last one. And he likes boring stuff." Clint rolled his eyes.
"I don't like fashion shows." The young genius sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"At least Spencer tried to be quiet." She-Hulk glared at Clint. "Mr. Piggy over here wouldn't stop cat-calling."
"Hey, I saw the way they were looking at me. They wanted me." Clint smirked.
"Yeah, to shut up or kicked in the nose." Spencer snickered.
"I don't see what you guys think is the big deal. I love her fashion shows." Jubilee blinked.
Rule #17) Don't post video of a drunk Iron Man on the Internet. We don't need his little flights of fancy embarrassing us.
"Our last video was a big hit." Clint smiled.
"This! Is! Spartaaaaaaa!" Jen laughed, impersonating the drunken Armored Avenger.
"My favorite rampages are the ones where he's on the Scottish whisky." Spencer smiled. "Although he has his moments when he's drinking Tsingtao." (2)
"Yeah, he thinks he's Bruce Lee!" Jenny snickered. "Board don't hit back."
"What's Tsingtao?" Clint blinked.
"I think it's Chinese beer." Jubilee blinked.
Rule #18) Stop prank-calling the X-Men, the Misfits, and the Fantastic Four.
"Oh, I wish I could've seen the look on the Thing's face when we had 500 pizzas come to the Baxter Building." Clint snickered.
"From what I heard, he tried to wring Johnny's neck." Spencer groaned. "Poor Johnny was terrified to go near him for a week."
"Cyclops keeps calling." Jen remembered. "He says we keep calling the Institute and leaving messages for his girlfriend."
"Razor." Clint shook his head. "He likes to flirt with Jean in front of Cyclops. I don't blame him. Jean Grey is hot. I bet she's great in bed. You know what they say about redheads."
"And you wonder why you can't get a date, Hawkeye." Spencer rolled his eyes.
"Jenny, you're right. He is a pig." Jubilee blinked.
"Duh!" The She-Hulk nodded.
Rule #19) I don't need Orange County Choppers to make me a new motorcycle.
"I don't think Cap is giving it a shot. I think the Teutuls would make an awesome chopper for Cap." Spencer shook his head with a smile. "They'd probably build one with a shield holder and everything."
"Spencer, I can't see you enjoying that show." Clint blinked.
"I love that show, Clint." Spencer explained. "Those bikes are beautiful. My favorite is that Intel bike they made. It can be all controlled by this onboard computer. It's really cool. Not to mention that Mikey's hilarious."
"We should have one made for Cap as a birthday gift or something." Jubilee suggested. "A surprise or something."
Rule #20) Hawkeye, stop posting Tigra and She-Hulk's diaries on the Avengers' messageboard.
"I didn't set it up for that!" Spencer added.
"I KNEW IT!" She-Hulk yelled. Tigra snarled at Clint.
"Uh oh..." The blond archer gulped.
"SHE-HULK SMASH!"
"RAWR!" The two female Avengers leapt at the archer, only for Clint to miraculously dodge. The wise-cracking hero then ran for his life, the furious Feline Avenger and Emerald Amazon chasing after him.
"Spence, help me!" Clint yelled. Spencer just rolled his eyes and walked away.
"Later, Clint. I'm getting me a sandwich."
(1) – See "Rules of Avengers Mansion"
(2) – A Chinese drink