Until Morning
I'm in love with the new Dashboard Confessional album and in particular this song. I don't really know what I want to do with this; I was just inspired to write. I hope you enjoy and if you read my other stories…those are works in progress…I'm hoping something will inspire me to write more for those.
Until Morning
"Can I come over?" Marissa's voice questioned through the phone, no hello, no how are you, just straight to the point.
"I…" Alex hesitated, "What's going on?" She asked avoiding answering the question.
"Please?"
"Marissa…I…okay." Alex answered defeated. There was no goodbye, just a dial tone soon after.
The blond didn't know what was going on, honest to god she wished she could have said no to Marissa but she always found herself getting pulled back in. No matter how hard she tried to distance herself, tried to avoid her calls, avoid her messages, avoid her in general, she never seemed to be able to. It seemed like whenever she was about to verge onto that point, Marissa would pop back into her life. It's not to say though that Marissa was ever far from her mind no matter how much she tried to push the brunette away.
Pulling a beer out of the fridge and placing it on the countertop, she thought better of it knowing she was going to need something stronger, much stronger. Opening the cabinet above her head she pulled out a bottle of Bacardi 151. Grabbing a clean glass, she poured almost half a cup, knowing she'd need all the strength she could get. Her mind brought her back to a few weeks ago as she held the glass in her hand.
"It's not working anymore…." Alex's eyes were cast downward; on the cup on the coffee table, the words had been difficult for her to manage.
"What do you mean?" Marissa questioned, her eyes doubling. At the mere sound of Alex's words Marissa's entire face had changed.
"I'm saying that I think we're not right for each other."
"I don't believe you." Marissa's tone was failing her, Alex could read her like a book.
"I need you to leave." Neither made a move, the only sound came from the dripping sink.
"You don't mean that." Marissa said shaking her head, not believing the situation.
Summoning all of her courage, Alex looked up into Marissa's eyes, "We're done."
A knock at the door brought Alex back to the present; she put her glass down and made her way towards the girl behind the door. Taking a deep breath, Alex pulled the door open to reveal a dripping wet Marissa. The last time she had seen her like that had been when Marissa had told her mother about them, and rushed over to tell her the news. Rubbing her face with her free hand, Alex motioned for Marissa to come in before shutting the door.
Neither spoke for a few minutes, they just eyed each other wearily.
"Let me get you something dry to wear" Alex said breaking the eye contact and disappearing into her bedroom. She returned seconds later with a pair of sweats and a plain shirt.
"Thanks," Marissa murmured taking the clothes from Alex, "You been drinking?" she asked hesitantly gesturing with her head towards the counter.
"No" Alex answered simply, which was the truth; she hadn't been drinking at least not yet. Marissa gave a short nod as if accepting the answer before heading towards the bathroom to change into Alex's clothes.
As Marissa changed Alex put the beer back into the fridge and poured the glass down the sink, she wasn't going to let alcohol give her strength. She needed to be able to do this; she needed to be able to not fear what was going to happen. Taking a seat on the couch, Alex rested her head on her hand while she waited. A few moments later Marissa took a seat on the couch next to her, she was close but not as close as they used to be.
"It's over Marissa, let it be." Alex said looking straight ahead.
"Can I just stay one more night?"
"Why are you making this so hard." It was more a statement than a question.
"Can I just stay till morning?" Marissa's voice pleaded with Alex, and tears began to well up in her eyes.
Alex moved closer to Marissa, putting an arm around her. Whenever Marissa was upset, Alex's body seemed to naturally move close and embrace her. Leaning back Alex lowered herself on the couch, with Marissa on top of her. The blond simply held the taller girl, feeling a wetness begin to seep onto her shirt. Tightening her grip, Alex kissed the top of Marissa's head. She had missed this; she had missed Marissa more than she would have liked to admit.
"What's the matter?" Alex whispered, already knowing the answer.
"Why can't you just stay with me?"
"Marissa I…"
"I'm scared Alex."
"What are you scared of Riss?"
"I'm scared to be without you, I don't want to be without you. I don't understand why this is happening. Why you let this happen, why you don't want to be with me."
"Marissa….it's just…..too hard."
"I'm ready, I can take it. Just tell me." Alex remained silent; she didn't have anything to say. In all honesty she didn't know herself why she was doing this. She just felt like something was going to tear them apart.
"Just say that you'll stay with me even if it's just till morning." Marissa's voice whispered.
"I'll stay with you." Alex heard herself saying.