*Disclaimer* I do not own Homestuck. That honour of course belongs to Andrew Hussie
(Note: this poem is best if sung to the 60's spiderman theme.)
Spiderbitch, Spiderbitch,
Does stuff to make a spider rich.
Spins a web, any size,
Catches trolls just like flies.
Look out! Here comes the Spiderbitch.
Is she strong? Listen bud—
She's got royal cerulean blood.
Can she swing from a rope?
Take a look, there's no hope.
Hey there! There goes the Spiderbitch.
In the screams of the night,
At the scene of the crime,
With a streak of light,
She escapes just in time!
Spiderbitch, Spiderbitch,
Not-so-friendly Spiderbitch.
Wealth and fame, her reward—
Kindness is just ignored.
To her,
Life is a great big bang-up—
Wherever there's a hang-up,
You'll find the Spiderbitch!