THE LANE-KENT BUNCH ("The Brady Bunch" - Clois style)

A/N: The Prologue is a little sad, but don't worry - the humor and romance will come.

DISCLAIMER: This is obviously an AU story. Clark and Lois meet for the first time. Lois was never in Smallville. There will be other characters from Superman/Smallville canon that will appear from time to time.

I was getting ready to leave the house when all of a sudden the idea of a Clois version of The Brady Bunch popped into my head. I can't explain why, but it just sounded like a really fun idea.

PROLOGUE

Smallville Cemetery

Clark is standing by himself in front of the coffin; his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then he feels a tug on his coat and looks down to see a little boy staring up at him. Clark stoops down and picks him up. "Daddy can we go home now?" the little boy asks him.

"Of course we can," touching his face and holding him close to him.

"I want to say goodbye to Mommy first," he says.

Clark looks into his eyes and sets him down on the ground; watching him as he walks up to the coffin and gently places a single pink rose on top of it. "Goodbye Mommy," leaning forward to kiss the lid. Then he walks back to Clark and stands next to him. Clark takes his hand and they walk away; heading towards the black limo. They both climb in, then it pulls away from the curb and heads towards home.

Later that evening, Clark is sitting on the couch in the living room having a beer when there's a knock at the door. He looks up for a moment; placing the beer on the coffee table. He gets up; walking over to it to let Chloe in. "Hey Clark," giving him a brief hug.

"Hey Chloe," returning the hug. Then he lets go of her and closes the door behind her. "What are you doing here Chloe? Not that I mind seeing you that is," a small smile briefly appearing on his face.

"I thought I'd come by and see how you guys are doing," walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch. She glances at the coffee table and notices the bottle of beer. She looks up at him curiously. "Since when do you drink beer?" she asks him.

"I really don't have to justify myself to you," grabbing the beer bottle from the table and taking a slug.

"You don't need to get snippy Clark," raising her eyebrows at him.

He looks down at her. "In case you've missed it, I've had a particularly hard day. So I think I'm entitled to have a beer once in a while," plopping down in his father's old recliner.

She frowns for a moment. "I know you've had a hard day Clark. I'm just concerned about you and the boys."

He puts the bottle down and looks over at her. "I'm sorry Chloe. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I appreciate your concern. But I can assure you that I'm not going to be drowning my sorrows in alcohol - not that it would affect me anyway," giving her a wink and a smile.

She gets up from the couch and walks over to him; giving him a peck on the cheek, then sitting back down.

"What was that for?" a puzzled expression on his face.

"I haven't seen that smile in over a week," smiling at him. "So...where are the boys anyway? It's awfully quiet around here," she remarks; looking around the room.

"Greg is staying over at a friend's house, Peter is staying at Aunt Nell's, and Bobby is sleeping upstairs," he replies. "What about your children?" he asks her.

"They're at home with Jimmy," she says; leaning back against the couch. "When I left the apartment, he was playing 'hide and seek' with Daniel. And Emily was fast asleep in her crib."

They fall silent for a few minutes; enjoying the quiet. "You know," Clark speaking up. "I'm glad you came over. I have some news that I've wanted to share with you for the last few days."

"Really?" looking over at him. "What is it?"

"I was offered a position as a reporter at the Smallville Gazette."

"Really???" her eyes widening with surprise. "That's great!" getting back up and giving him a big hug; then sitting back down. "When do you start?" she asks.

"Monday," he replies. "At least I'll be able to finally put that journalism degree to good use."

"You know, I've always thought that there was more for you than just this farm Clark."

"I know," he says; a pensive look on his face. "And who knows? Maybe someday I'll hit the big leagues and get a job at the Daily Planet."

Chloe gets up. "We really should celebrate," she says. "Why don't you come over Monday night and have dinner with Jimmy and I? You can even bring the boys?" she says with a smile.

He gets up and looks down at her. "I would love that," smiling at her.

She glances at her watch. "I should probably be heading home," walking over to the door. Clark follows her and opens it for her.

"Thanks Chloe," giving her a peck on the cheek.

"For what Clark?"

"For being my BFF."

"And don't you forget it," winking at him as she walks through the doorway; closing the door behind her...

Metropolis Cemetery - one month later...

Lois is sitting on one of the little chairs facing the coffin; listening to the bugler as he plays 'Taps.' Then the Honor Guard carefully folds the flag that was draping the coffin. Once it's folded, one of them walks over to Lois and stands in front of her; extending it towards her and expressing his sympathies.

"Thank you," she replies; taking the flag from him and laying it in her lap. As soon as the funeral is over, everyone walks towards the coffin to pay their final respects. Lois remains seated; just staring straight ahead and not really paying attention as friends and family come over to her to say goodbye to her and the kids. She continues to sit there until nearly everybody is gone.

Her father comes over and sits down next to her. "I'm sorry Lo', but I have to leave," tentatively taking her hand.

"Of course you do," she replies through clenched teeth. "It doesn't surprise me one bit," throwing his hand off and finally getting up from her chair; leaving the flag there and walking up to the coffin. She stands there; laying her hand on the dark wood. "Just go," not bothering to turn around. He just sighs; turning around and walking away.

Lucy and Chloe walk up to her a couple minutes later. Chloe puts her arm around Lois' shoulder and Lucy takes her hand. "Are you ready to leave yet?" Lucy asks her.

Lois doesn't answer her for a moment. "I guess so," abruptly turning around and walking back to the chair; picking up the flag. She looks around for a moment; her eyes suddenly widening. "Where are my girls?" staring back at Lucy and Chloe.

"Don't panic," Chloe rushing up to her and taking her hands in hers. "They're with Jimmy in the limo."

She bites her lip in an attempt to keep from crying. "It's okay to cry Lois."

"I can't. I just can't. How can he do this to me?" her voice an octave higher than normal.

"He didn't die on purpose Lois," Lucy remarks.

"I'm not talking about him dying Lucy," she retorts.

"Then what are you talking about Lois?" she asks her.

She looks at both of them. "I shouldn't have said anything. Just forget about it," letting go of Chloe's hands and walking towards the limousine.

Lucy turns to Chloe. "Do you have any idea what she's talking about?"

"I do," she replies; continuing to watch as Lois walks away. "But she swore me to secrecy. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she says. "You're closer to my sister than I am. And it's my fault that we're not. After all the crap I put her through while growing up, I don't blame her for confiding in you first. I just hope that someday she'll be able to confide in me too."

"I think that'll happen. Just give her some time," Chloe tells her.

Lois reaches the limo and turns around; looking over at Chloe and Lucy talking. "Are you coming or not?" calling out to them.

"We're coming," Chloe replies; the two of them quickly walking towards her.

That evening, the three of them are sitting at the kitchen table in Lois' apartment. "It was really nice of Jimmy to babysit the girls for me tonight," sipping her coffee. "You're lucky to have someone like him Chloe."

"I am lucky," sitting back in her chair with a smile.

"I hope I find someone like him someday," Lucy says a little wistfully.

"You will," Lois says; taking her hand for a moment, then letting go to sip her coffee again.

"Lois?"

She looks up from her coffee cup. "What Lucy?"

"Back at the cemetery you said 'how can he do this to me.' What did you mean by that?"

"Well..." hesitating for a moment, "I found out a few days before he died that he was cheating on me."

Her eyes widen in disbelief. "He was???"

Lois nods yes. "A letter arrived in the mail a few days ago addressed to me. But when I opened it, there was a letter addressed to someone named 'Vicky' instead. You know what that means."

Lucy stares back at her. "Are you saying..."

"Yep. He put the wrong letter in the wrong envelope. Most likely this 'Vicky' person received the letter he meant for me," a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"I'm so sorry," she says; a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"I was going to ask him for a divorce when he got back next week. Damn sniper," abruptly getting up from her chair and walking over to the refrigerator; opening the door and pulling out a beer. "Do either one of you want one?" she asks them.

"No thanks," they both reply at the same time. She sits back down and opens it; taking a couple slugs, then putting it down on the table. Then she gets up again. "I'm going to call my girls and say goodnight. I'll be right back," pulling out her cell phone while walking to her bedroom and closing the door.

"I can't believe he would do something like that to her," Lucy says to Chloe. "If he were here right now, I'd kill him myself for hurting my sister like that. She deserves better."

"She absolutely does," Chloe replies. "I know that she'll meet someone someday that's worthy of her." The words have just left her mouth when Lois returns.

"Are they okay?" Lucy asks her.

"They're fine," she says; sitting back down. "Marcia is reading a book, Jan is sitting out on the balcony gazing at the stars, and Cindy is sound asleep."

She gets up yet again. "Maybe I should go to bed too," looking down at Lucy and Chloe. "I have to go to work in the morning. You'd think my editor at the Inquisitor would let me take a couple additional days off," a frown on her face. "But I can't afford to tick him off right now. I really need this job. But someday I'll be working at a prestigious paper and not have to put up with this crap. Maybe even the Daily Planet," a smile on her face. Who knows?" finally smiling at them...

CHAPTER 1

Four years later...

Clark is busy typing up his latest story when his phone rings. "Clark Kent - Smallville Gazette," he answers. He listens for a minute. "He did WHAT?" his voice raised an octave. "I see," closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Alright, I'll be right there. Goodbye," slamming the phone down.

"Something wrong?"

He looks up to see a woman standing next to his desk. "Hi Cat," he says. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, but you haven't answered my question," sitting down on the edge of his desk.

He frowns for a moment; leaning back in his chair. "I just got a call from my sons school. Apparently Peter decided that one of his classmates needed a haircut. I think you could guess what happened next."

"He did that? trying to stifle a laugh.

"It's not funny Cat," glaring at her.

"I'm sorry Clark, but I can't help it," now laughing openly.

"Well I have to go pick him up because he's been suspended for two days - AGAIN," getting up from his chair and putting on his jacket.

She gets up too. "I'm sorry for laughing," laying her hand on his shoulder. "I may not have kids, but I do know I would probably feel the same way if it were mine."

He looks down at her. "Thanks Cat," a small smile on his face. "I just don't know what to do with him."

"I wish I could give you some advice but I can't," shrugging her shoulders. "But anytime you want to talk about it, just pick up the phone and call me."

"I appreciate that." He leans over his desk and logs off his computer. "I better let our editor know I have to leave early," opening one of the drawers and pulling out his keys. "I'll see you tomorrow," he says as he starts to leave.

"I won't be here tomorrow," calling out after him.

He turns around to look at her. "Really?" looking curiously at her. "You never take a day off."

"I'm not taking a day off Clark," she replies.

"You're not?" he asks.

"Nope," she says. "I've accepted a job offer so today is my last day."

He walks back over to her. "Congratulations," giving her a brief hug. "So where are you going?" he asks as he lets go of her.

"I will be the new gossip columnist at the Daily Planet," a big smile on her face.

His jaw drops at her announcement. "Did I just hear you say that you got a job at the Daily Planet?" he says incredulously.

She looks at him curiously. "Yes. Why? Is there something wrong with that?" her eyes narrowing a little.

"No," he replies. "I didn't mean to imply that."

"Then what did you mean?" she asks him.

"It's just..." sighing for a moment. "I've been trying to get a job there for the last couple years. Not even so much as an interview. It's just so frustrating," shrugging his shoulders.

"I totally understand your frustrations. Believe me, I've more than paid my dues. And you just have to pay yours. I have a feeling you will make it there. And when you do, I will be the first one to welcome you with open arms. Deal?" extending her hand towards him.

He takes her hand and shakes it. "Deal," he says with a smile.

The Talon

"I am so sick and tired of working at the Inquisitor," Lois complains to her sister while having a cup of coffee. "If I have to write one more story about meteor freaks in Smallville I'm going to lose what's left of my mind."

Lucy calmly sips her coffee as Lois continues to complain. Lois stops talking when Lucy doesn't even make a response. "Are you just going to sit there and say nothing?" frowning at her.

"I was waiting until you shut up before I told you my good news," a sly smile on her face.

Lois looks at her curiously. "Okay. You look like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary," Lois remarks. "So come on, spill it."

"Okay," Lucy replies. "You know that I've been dating a guy named Ron right?"

"I know," rolling her eyes. "You haven't been able to stop talking about him for months now. What about him?"

"Well what I didn't tell you was that he's a reporter for the Daily Planet."

"Thanks for rubbing it in. You know how hard I've been trying to get a job there," frowning yet again.

"Well if you let me finish," getting a little annoyed. "Ron put in a good word for you and guess what?"

"What?" Lois replies.

"You have an interview with the Editor-in-Chief at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon," sitting back in her chair with a big grin on her face.

Her eyes widen in disbelief. "NO!"

"YES!" Lucy shouts back.

"Seriously? I have an interview? At the Daily Planet?" her voice going up an octave.

"That's right," Lucy says; picking up her coffee mug and taking another sip.

"I can't believe it!" shaking her head in astonishment. "You have any idea how long I've been trying to get an interview there?"

"I know. I've been listening to you complain for the last four years," Lucy remarks. "I gave Ron a few of your articles and he passed them on to the Editor-in-Chief. He was very impressed with your writing."

"Wow," still shaking her head. Then she becomes serious. "Thank you so much Lucy," taking her sisters hand and grasping it tightly. "I could never make it up to you."

"You don't have to," she replies; putting her other hand over Lois'. "Just go to the interview and knock 'em dead. Then we'll be even," smiling back at Lois.

Lois is about to respond when her phone rings. She pulls it out of her pocket and flips it open. "Hello?" she answers. "Yes this is Lois Lane-Keenan," she replies. "She WHAT?" she exclaims; listening for a moment. "Okay," rubbing her forehead. "I'll be right there. Goodbye," slamming her phone shut and shoving it into her pocket.

"What's wrong?" Lucy asks her.

"That was Janet's school. Apparently she got into an argument with one of her classmates and ended up punching her in the face. She's been suspended for two days," getting up from her chair and putting on her coat. "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with her. This is the second time in the last two months."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Lois turns to her. "Could you could pick up Cindy at kindergarten for me?"

"Of course," also getting up from her chair.

"Thanks," Lois replies; rushing out the Talon door.

Smallville Grammar School

Lois hurriedly pulls into a parking space and practically leaps out of her car; slamming the door behind her and rushing towards the entrance. She's close to the door when a man rushes by her and opens the door; closing it behind him. "HEY!" she yells out.

He turns around and sees her; a look of surprise on his face. He comes back to the door and opens it. "I'm so sorry Ms.," he says; holding it open for her. "I didn't see you there," smiling at her as she walks through the doorway.

She looks up at him and notices the most beautiful blue eyes she's ever seen. Wow! she can't help but think to herself. I've never seen eyes like that.

He stares back at her in the same way; noticing the green and gold flecks in her hazel eyes. Wow! he thinks to himself. Then he gives himself a mental shake. "I really am sorry," he says.

"It's okay," she replies; smiling at him.

"Well," he says; "I really should be going. I have to pick up my son at the principal's office."

"I have to pick up my daughter at the principal's office," she replies.

"I guess both our children are in trouble then huh?" he remarks. "What did yours do?" he asks her as they walk down the hallway.

"Mine got into an argument with one of her classmates and ended up punching her in the eye."

He chuckles a little. "Mine decided to give one of his classmates a haircut."

"Kids," she says with a smirk. "What will we do with them?"

"I don't know," shaking his head. "But we love them anyway." They reach the door to the Principals office. "By the way, I'm Clark. Clark Kent," extending his hand towards her.

"I'm Lois. Lois Lane-Keenan," taking his hand...

TO BE CONTINUED...