Coffeetime Part 1: Introduction
Info:
whoever says/does something:
/actions/
thoughts
(some useless comments the writers considered necessary)
(some other useless comments the writers considered necessary)
announcements
Just to avoid any misunderstandings: In this story we'll call:
Yami Marik: Yami Marik/Marik
Yami Bakura: Yami Bakura/Bakura
There won't be any hikaris in this. Or at least they won't play a big part… So don't get confused if Bakura zaps someone to the shadow realm… It doesn't mean Ryou got psycho. It just means the writers were to lazy to type the yami part. :P
Next thing is an introduction of how we came up with this fic. You can read it if you want, but it's not that necessary. It's just another proof of our sanity. :)
Before you read this story I want to give a little introduction.
Once upon a time there were:
1) Jessica
2) Boredom
3) Cinnamon tea
4) Pancake syrup
5) A dear friend named Esther to listen
Does it make any sense yet? No? Didn't think so…
Well, as you all know: School and homework are boring most of the time. If not, then you're lucky. Anyhow, I, Jessica was bored and felt like some tea. We had cinnamon, my favorite. I needed something to sweeten it with (nobody was home and my mother doesn't want that I sweeten my tea, I now know why). We had some pancake syrup and I thought that it was better than nothing. Actually it tasted quite good. So I told Esther about it. Her first reaction: Syrup? And you really drink that?
When I went over to her house a couple days later I discovered she was already drinking tea with syrup after I told her v.v'. And Esther sure knows how to drink tea. She brought some sugar and even some honey (which was great to use considering the last time I used it someone forgot to close the top properly and our kitchen flour had honey all over). So…we kept adding stuff to our tea… in the combination with cookies you might get a bit hyper…
But what had that got to do with this story? EVERYTHING!
E and I msn a lot and I said her I was going to get myself some of "our" tea. I did this by saying: "tea…teaaaaaatiiiiime" between musical notes. It reminded my of a show called coffeetime that used to be on the Dutch television. It was a show meant for young housewives but people from 35 -50 watched it. It was sometimes entertaining. Well anyways, I thought it would be funny to have the yugioh cast there. So we got started with it and we've written a lot. The ending is far from in sight. On our class ski trip Esther and I wrote something in the bus that we wanna do after this part or maybe put up as a different fic. We have many, many more ideas for this and still feel like writing them. Hope you enjoy.
/Esther read it and (again) feels like adding to it/
This coffeetime story ended up to be (as Jessica said) only the beginning of something huge. That something huge is inspired on another ex-programme named Who am I? Considering the fact that the yamis were in it, it was a gameshow and we're just sick minded… It now is over 100 word-pages big /sweat drops/ Actually this first chapter is one, big intro (same goes for the second).
And as my partner in crime just said: Enjoy :)
Once, on a rainy, boring day, some random guy with a wrong kind of baseball cap walked on stage of studio 13.
"Ladies and gentlemen… Welcome to our coffeetime set… We'll start in 5…4…3…"
Suddenly the guy dissolved in a flash of light.
A voice from somewhere behind the set started screaming. "YOU STUPID BAKA!"
All people in the set looked at a piece of décor that had to represent some sort of a palm tree. A very suspicious looking palm tree. That because it was purple. Ever seen a purple palm tree? No?
Well, that's okay, because it wasn't really a palm tree. It was actually a bored, bad tempered yami, holding a golden magic wand thingy that looked like it once belonged to Batman. Yeah, people… Meet Yami Marik!
The person producing the screaming, was a girl with curly, long, brown hair that looked if she just had been in a tornado. She wore a long (mind this word… it's supposed to be emphasized… like ankle long), black skirt, some black with white halter top and a black trenchcoat. Why the coat? Because some other person who I won't mention here (right, Jessica?) decided to put it in the story at one point… That person probably forgot they were inside. Another fact… She was about 5"6 Meaning that the palm tree was about a head bigger than her (Leaves not included).
Anyways… She was screaming at the purple case.
"YOU STUPID BAKA! You promised you wouldn't zap any people to the shadowrealm today!"
The palm tree seemed very annoyed.
"What did you want me to do, then… stab him?" it asked.
The tornado girl (by the way named Esther (Esther: jup that's me:D)) sighed. "No… Just remember that there's no show without the show making people whose names I've forgotten… SO NO ZAPPING!"
The palm tree raised the Batman stick which started glowing. "Just try to stop me!"
Esther blinked innocently. "If you go zap me to the shadowrealm, stab me or make me a mind slave, I will make you dance the swan lake in a pink tutu."
Yami Marik folded his arms. "And how are you supposed to do that?"
"Easy! I'm a writer!" Esther said cheerfully.
Yami Marik cursed something that won't be mentioned here to avoid scaring people off and turned around.
Just at that moment another girl, named Jessica, came walking in view. She was two inches taller than the first one (for all people with amnesia: named Esther), had, straight, blond hair (shoulder length), wore a blue, fluffy (very fluffy… sheepish fluffy) sweater, jeans and something like a vest/trenchcoat thingy made out off that stuff where they also make jeans out (nice when English isn't your first language, ne?)… She also wore boots and stuff… Not really important. What was important was that her mood wasn't too good at the moment.
"What are you two doing here? The show is about to start! Where's that guy with the ugly baseball cap?"
Esther threw Yami Marik a certain 'look'.
Yami Marik glared at Esther.
Jessica combined the 'look' with the 'glare' and with the fact that Marik held the sennen rod in his hand and concluded that now would be a good time to go PMS. She became red and started jumping up and down while giving the palm tree and her partner in crime look #746.
"WHAT? No, don't tell me that he… You know how much time it cost me to find someone who wanted to do the count down? After they heard what happened to the other eight, they all suddenly ran off! Why? WHY?"
Yami Marik shrugged. "Not that he was important or something… You could just leave the count down out."
Esther smiled. "You know… That doesn't sound too bad at all!"
"Yeah… That could be a plan!" Jessica said, happy and cheerful in a flash.
Marik went backstage muttering something about stupid mortals with missing brain cells.
Jessica and Esther followed not too far behind.
All people on the set now concentrated on a stage where a couple of big bumpered ladies were chanting a song:
"COFFEEEEEE COFFEETIIIIME!"
All lights went out and some creepy, mysterious kind of voice with lots of echo effects started saying something which no one could understand. Then someone got the brilliant idea to shut the echo off.
"LLLLadies and gentlemen… WWELCOME TOOOOO…. COFFEETIME! And here are your presenters for tonight…. HANS! …and… MIREILLE"
(backstage, Jessica and Esther started chuckling. Heheheh /evil look/ Just try to pronounce!)
All lights went on and the Coffeetime set became visible.
Mireille sat on a couch and showed the world her perfect smile. "Thank you… thank you… (no one was applauding) Welcome, welcome to coffeetime! Tonight we've got some special guests! Let me introduce to you: Yami Marik and Yami Bakura!"
A silence could be heard rampaging over the set.
Esther satherself on another couch and looked at Bakura sitting next to her. "Don't forget to chain down the porcelain, Mireille…"
Mireille pretended she didn't heard that and cast her smile at a purple palm tree. "So, how do you like your coffee?"
She didn't wait for the response, but instantly dumped half of the sugar bowl in Mariks one centiliter cup.
Esther sweat dropped at the sight and sound of Mireille. She decided she didn't like this woman. "What is she doing here anyway?" she muttered, while pushing her out of the window. (the set was on the 13th floor of studio 13) She heard a satisfying thump and sat back down on the couch with her most innocent expression. "You people got any honey in here?"
Someone in a blue fluffy sweater sat down the sofa and noticed a jar stuffed with something yellow. In an instant Jessica passed the honey on while trying not to spill it. Mireille's overbleached teeth had blinded her, and although Mireille was out of sight all of a sudden, the blinding effect still lasted.
In the meantime, Hans was busy gesturing Yami Marik to cross his legs.
As a response, Yami Marik stuffed the sennen rod in poor, poor Hans' head. He threw the rest of the room his famous look of danger. "THE HONEY PLEASE!"
Jessica –still blind- got the honey from Esther and practically threw it to Yami Marik, which caused the sticky goo to drop out of the pot and land on everyone in its path.
Hans took this chance to start a question attack on Yami Bakura.
Esther saw Hans performing his question attack with the sennen rod still sticking into his head and burst out in laughter. (lets assume it looked funny as hell (is hell actually funny? Anyone knows? Anyone here been to hell?))
"Hans, every time I try to water the rose bush in my garden it runs off screaming… What should I do?" Yami Bakura asked sadly.
Hans casually continued the question attack with the sennen rod in his head like it was the most normal thing that could ever happen. "Yeah? Maybe you should eat some sugar. It'll make you sweeter and maybe the plants will like you then!" He started to laugh hysterically, thinking his joke was funny as seeing men doing the lambada on a donkey with only 3 legs. Not that anyone would even consider that funny…
Everyone else was forced to sweat drop.
"Ring Ring," said the doorbell.
Esther jumped up. "I'll get that!" She opened the door and nearly got ran over by Tea and Yugi who looked like they were in great shock.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" she yelped.
"I wouldn't go out there if I were you… It's raining hysterical women!" Yugi explained.
Meanwhile, Jessica was sniffing pancake syrup (for some dark, unknown reason) and got very, very happy, until she saw Yugi and Tea standing in the doorway.
She freaked out and accidentally aimed the syrup at a certain purple palm tree. (though she could see clearly now)
The palm tree was less happy with this and tried desperately to wipe his face with a tablecloth. He then stood behind Yami Bakura and Hans in order to hear what they were saying.
Jessica was also listening, like any other normal, sane and good girl would do. Suddenly she felt raindrops.
Raindrops?
Yeah, raindrops.
And not just ordinary raindrops.
Hot raindrops.
Brown raindrops.
And they tasted like coffee.
She turned around and saw Yami Marik quickly hiding the coffeepot behind his back (upside down).
Meanwhile at the front door, Esther felt something wet. She looked down and saw a spreading puddle of coffee with herself happening to stand in it.
AH GROSS! MY FEET ARE SOAKED!
Suddenly a brilliant idea popped up in her head.
"Well, Yugi, Tea, as you can see it's quite the chaos in here (/dodges flying coffeepot/) so…"
Yugi curiously attempted to look past her into the studio.
Inside, Jessica left the palm tree for what it was and went backstage to look for a fire hose. (so she could clean herself from the coffee)
Hans and Yami Bakura were still performing their question attack. (if Marik would defeat Yami in battle, take his puzzle, become pharaoh, make the whole world his mind slave and take the milky way down with him in the process… they probably still wouldn't notice)
"What would you prefer," asked Hans, "To prune the plants in your garden, or to drink a little rosé in a bath robe with all kinds of beautiful ladies around you?"
Bakura was in deep thought. "Well… The plants keep on running away /sob sob/ so I can never prune them…" He suddenly got engulfed in a gigantic crying fit and Hans had to somehow dry his sea of tears.
Esther was at the same time trying to prevent Yugi from seeing all of this and tried to keep standing in front of him, but he just kept jumping around to look past her, resulting in some kind of tribal dance.
"Maybe it's just better if you two go home…" she tried.
"But that's impossible!" Tea screeched. "The whole street is blocked by police cars, ambulances and people from the FBI!"
Esther stopped dancing. "What's that for?"
Yugi didn't notice Esther stopped and kept on hopping around. "You see," he said while hopping. "Some poor woman seems to have dropped from the window on this floor."
Esther suddenly got this weird, nervous feeling. "Uhm… well… but you can't…"
Yugi and Tea already went inside.
/FLASH/
"WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?" It was Yami Yugi's Schwarzenegger voice.
"Shit!" Esther sweat dropped.
Jessica finally found what she had been looking for. She grabbed the nearest fire hose and dragged it all the way to the set so she wouldn't miss any of the events happening, but when she turned it on, she lost all control.
The thick ray of water sprayed all over the room and directly at Tea who was (un)fortunately standing right in front of an open window. (a soft thump could be heard ten seconds after)
In the meantime the whole studio got hosed with water and the settings were flying all over the place.
Esther was one of the many people in the fire range and nearly got knocked over by the enormous ray of water. Luckily she managed to remain (almost) standing by grabbing a big pineapple.
BUT…
The pineapple was actually not a pineapple.
It was Yami Yugis head.
Do we need to say that the particular piece of fruit wasn't too happy with that?
Do we need to say that water doesn't make a good combo with hairgel?
Do we need to say that it made the pineapple look like a real sad carrot?
Guess not, but we still did…
Jessica was, totally soaked, trying to grab a hold of the hose to shut it off, but slipped on all the water. She desperately tried to stay on her feet and decided, just like Esther, to cling on to something. Too bad that it didn't have the same, rescuing effect. She immediately fell down again, taking the object with her.
She looked up and saw someone's underpants/shorts/skirt.
Sightseeing wasn't on of her favorite activities so she glanced over to her hands and discovered she was holding some strange type of jeans.
"Oops."
Esther finally let go of Yami the carrot and tried not to slip and fall flat on her ass. The wet floor wasn't much of a help. Fortunately someone managed to shut the hose off.
That someone was Seto Kaiba.
He held the hose in his hands and sent the whole scene of drenched, fallen and stupid people one of his famous 'looks'.
The look finally reached Jessica and the guy-without-jeans. The many braincells in his balloon shaped head came to a final conclusion.
He somehow stayed emotionless.
"Can someone tell me what this nonsense is all about?"
Jessica quickly let go of the jeans and tried to look the person, whose sensitive side she just revealed, straight into the face.
The whole corner of the set where the guy-without-jeans just stood, was suddenly covered in a dark, gloomy mist. Only his silhouette and two red, shiny eyes were visible.
Jessica panicked. She quickly looked around for help and her eyes fell on Kaiba.
Yippee! I just flooded the set, pulled someone's pants down and look who's there to brighten up my day? Of course… Sir Seto "Sunshine" Kaiba!
The dark gloom got noticed by Esther and she knew that danger was upon the world.
"You baka… Shouldn't it be wise to give the guy his jeans ba…"
She suddenly felt a cold shiver working its way up her spine.
Esther: Hehe >:) Cliffhanger >:)
This was it for now, hope you enjoyed :)
Oh and if you don't mind... Jessica will take over from here on cuz I have to run from the FBI, bye bye! /gets chased by about twenty agents/
Jessica: watches as E gets trown against a car with some dog drooling all over her behind to see if she's got any drugs/ Okay :D. This was the first part of the introduction... The next part will be up after reviews. After chapter 2 the real story begins, and there it will get better.
And... We don't own yugioh, coffeetime, who am I or any hosts... But... /evil look/ We do own ourselves and the guy with the ugly baseball cap.
Esther: LET ME GO! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO PAY! /gets dragged away by the FBI/