Fan Fic: RvB

Just used reclamation for a name to fit in with the "Re" thing. Anyway, just a continuation of rvb. Maybe a little romance or something in there somewhere at some point.

I don't own red vs blue or halo, I just really enjoy both. Any songs I riff off of are properties of their respective writers/record companies.

(Takes place in blood gulch [reach version].)

"Hey Grif?"

"Yeah, Simmons?"

"Why are we here?"

"Because Sarge told us to go find Donut. Why the fuck are you asking me, kissass? Shouldn't I ask you?"

Griff and simmons walk into the caves,

"Donut! Hey, DONUT!"

"Jeezus guys, don't have to yell."

Donut walks up to Grif and Simmons, hiding something behind his back.

"Donut, what's behind your back…? It'd better not be another one of your girly little fucking cooking magazines," says Grif.

"No, no, of course not." Donut scratches his neck, and looks away.

"Anyway," says Simmons, "We'd better get back to base. It's getting dark…"

A bat ducked out of the cave, out of the canyon.

"OH SHIT!" yelled Grif. "Bats!"

"Fucking lame, dude," Simmons taunted.

LATER

"All right, ladies, ON DECK!"

"God dammit Sarge, this isn't a boat. There is no deck. It's a FUCKING CONCRETE BUNKER," complained Grif.

"Quit yer yappin, sack biter. Up 'n at 'em!"

"Sarge, Grif really does have a point."

"Thank you, Simmons."

"Shut up, kissass," Grif said to the maroon armored trooper.

"Fuck you, Grif," Simmons growled. "Nobody loves you."

A sniper bullet whizzes past Simmons' head.

"THAT WAS YOUR ONLY WARNING SHOT, RED!"

"Church, you and I both-"

"Shut up, Tucker."

"I want to play this game too!"

"Shut up, Caboose," Tucker and Church say at the same time.

"Oh, Church! Can I go play with private Butter-Biscuit?"

"No. Go back to base."

"For the love of GOD," Tex complained, "Just give me the rifle!" She punches Church, and the sniper drops into her other, open hand.

"Will you just shoot Grif already?"

Sarge can't stand it anymore. He quietly walks up behind Grif, and knocks him out with a blow to the head with the butt of his shotgun. Grif falls over and slides off the ledge, back into the base.

"DAMMIT, OW!"

"Shut up, dirtbag."

"Can we get this over with?" argues Tucker.

"Nah, fuck it. Let's go," says Church. "It's too late anyway."

"Fine." Tex sighs. "Can't you guys go through with anything? Ever?"

"I'd like to go through with Sister in about half an hour," says Tucker. "Bow chicka bow- OW!"

"That's my sister, you cockbite!" Grif yells. "Stupid asshole!"

"Owwwww! Fucking asshole! Ow!" Tucker whines, and limps away in pain.

"Yeah, run, ya cowardly scum!" yells Sarge at the blues.

"Fuck you, Sarge!" Church yells back.