"Okay, everyone," Jason said. "We're going to be doing 'A Visit from Saint Nicholas.' Now you guys just stay out of the way until the narrator's done reading it. Got it?"
Everyone nodded.
"Good," Jason said. "This is going to go off with out a hitch! Narrator! Begin!"
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
A mouse scampers across the stage, chases Darlene, who's sitting behind the cameras, and generally makes a nuisance of himself.
"Hey!" Jason protested. "We can't have a mouse in here! Somebody… someone get rid of that mouse!"
Hah! Tobias flared his wings, dove down from the rafters, raked his talons forward, snagged the mouse, and carried it off.
"Well, there goes that mouse," Marco commented.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In the hopes that St. Nicolas soon would be there.
Who is this St. Nicolas that I am hearing so much about? Ax wondered.
"He's old Saint Nick," Jake said.
"He's Kris Kringle," Rachel explained, not very helpfully.
"He's Santa Claus," Cassie said, and proceeded to explain Christmas to Ax.
I am afraid I do not understand, Ax said sadly.
"Never mind," Jake said.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of cinnamon buns danced in their heads.
Cinnamon buns? Ax asked excitedly.
"What?!" Jason demanded. "It's not cinnamon buns! It's sugarplums!"
What are sugarplums? Are they good to eat?
Jason sighed resignedly. The narrator decided to try again.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
"Much better," Jason agreed.
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
When out on my lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
"What is that noise?" Jake wondered.
"Let's go check it out," Rachel said.
They looked out into the lawn.
There was Visser Three, being mobbed by an army of Santa Clauses.
Christmas! Visser Three raged. Bah, humbug!
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw of the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,
Reindeer cannot fly, Ax said disparagingly. And from what Cassie has told me, eight flying reindeer couldn't possibly hold enough toys for all of the children in the world. Not only that—
Jason threw up his hands in frustration. "Is there any chance we could get on with this?!"
With a little old driver, so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
I thought he was called Santa Claus, Ax said. I am confused.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet an obstacle, mount to the sky
What exactly does that mean? Tobias wondered.
"Plain English, please," Marco suggested.
"Shut up," Jason said. "This is what the original sounds like.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too.
And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
Ax starts dancing a "funky little Andalite dance", prancing and pawing his hooves and dancing all around.
He stops when he notices everyone staring at him.
He looks embarrassed, paws at the floor with his front hoof, and tries not to be noticed.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
Fur? Ax asked, surprised. Does your Santa Claus have blue fur?
"Now it's our Santa Claus, too?" Marco muttered. "And no, he wears a red coat with some white fur on it.
A bundle of toys he had flung from his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
Sara, Rachel's little sister, squeals in delight and runs for the stage. "Santa! Santa!" she cries happily.
Jason sighs and waits for Sara to tell Santa everything she wants for Christmas.
"…and I want a teddy bear and a Barbie doll and…"
Jason starts looking impatient.
"…and I want some candy, and some…"
His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
"Santa Claus!" scolded the surgeon general. "You stop smoking at once! It's setting a bad example for all of the children, and it's bad for your health!"
Then the surgeon general rounded on Jason. "And you! The author! You shouldn't be advocating smoking in a Christmastime story! Shame on you!"
Jason looked angry and sputtered and muttered. "But… but…"
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
Jelly! Ax said delightedly. Delicious!
He morphed to human and started looking for the jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
"Hah. Hah. Hah hah. Hah." Ax said, laughing with his human mouth.
"What was that?" Rachel demanded.
"That was a laugh," Ax explained.
"I thought I told you not to do that!" Jake said.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk
And laying a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod,
Up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim ere as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all, a good night."
"Isn't it supposed to be Merry Christmas?" Cassie asked.
Everyone shrugged. "I guess so," Jake said.
The End.
"Merry Christmas!" everyone but one shouted merrily.
Bah, humbug, said Visser Three as he stalked away.