DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, objects, places, or the
foundation of Pippin's song, just some of the lyrics.
ALSO, this is not meant to offend anyone homosexual or challenged with
speech.
LASTLY, this is not meant to offend Ozzy Osbourne. ( we love you.
One day Pippin was sitting with the Steward of Gondor and fulfilling his service duties. He really didn't like Denethor and thought he was rather like Ozzy Osbourne with a lot of speech training. Anyway, Denethor was getting bored of staring at statues of ugly old guys and said, "Can you sing master hobbit?"
"Well.yes." Pippin replied reluctantly. Denethor stared.
"That is, I sing like a woman that sucked helium with a Scottish accent." Denethor stared.
"Shall I sing, then?" Denethor stared.
"Achem. Alright.
Home is Sam's behind
The world is his head
And there are many hobbits to lay in bed
No shadows
'Cause the lights are off
Until my condoms have all taken flight
Mist and sweat
Sam and his curly hair
All shall watch
All shall watch" Denethor smiled.
"Like those hobbit romances, do ya, Denny? Is it alright that I call you Denny?" Denethor was back to staring.
Then Sam walked in and said
"I was taking a vacation from Mordor. They've given me one week's days of vacation and two for personal emergencies. Quite generous, weren't they?"
"Hey, you sexy little hobbit."
"Oh, hi Pippin. I was just talking to Frodo and---"
"Hey sexy hobbit body. Wanna go make out?"
"---and he said he actually liked me-"
"Who cares? Anyway, I have a crush on your curly hair. 'Tis sexy."
"---I DON'T LIKE YOU, PIPPIN! EVER SINCE THE CABBAGE INCIDENT WITH FRODO, WE ARE BEING VERY SERIOUS. No more late nights and back massages for you and me, Pip. Go frolic with Merry."
Then Pippin beat Sam to death with a Tostito he pulled out of his left ear. The End.
LASTLY, this is not meant to offend Ozzy Osbourne. ( we love you.
One day Pippin was sitting with the Steward of Gondor and fulfilling his service duties. He really didn't like Denethor and thought he was rather like Ozzy Osbourne with a lot of speech training. Anyway, Denethor was getting bored of staring at statues of ugly old guys and said, "Can you sing master hobbit?"
"Well.yes." Pippin replied reluctantly. Denethor stared.
"That is, I sing like a woman that sucked helium with a Scottish accent." Denethor stared.
"Shall I sing, then?" Denethor stared.
"Achem. Alright.
Home is Sam's behind
The world is his head
And there are many hobbits to lay in bed
No shadows
'Cause the lights are off
Until my condoms have all taken flight
Mist and sweat
Sam and his curly hair
All shall watch
All shall watch" Denethor smiled.
"Like those hobbit romances, do ya, Denny? Is it alright that I call you Denny?" Denethor was back to staring.
Then Sam walked in and said
"I was taking a vacation from Mordor. They've given me one week's days of vacation and two for personal emergencies. Quite generous, weren't they?"
"Hey, you sexy little hobbit."
"Oh, hi Pippin. I was just talking to Frodo and---"
"Hey sexy hobbit body. Wanna go make out?"
"---and he said he actually liked me-"
"Who cares? Anyway, I have a crush on your curly hair. 'Tis sexy."
"---I DON'T LIKE YOU, PIPPIN! EVER SINCE THE CABBAGE INCIDENT WITH FRODO, WE ARE BEING VERY SERIOUS. No more late nights and back massages for you and me, Pip. Go frolic with Merry."
Then Pippin beat Sam to death with a Tostito he pulled out of his left ear. The End.