Okay, this one is a bit different but I just got a wave of inspiration for it so like…go with it.
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"Kahl turn your fucking phone on! That's what phones are for. Or are you just saving energy? God Kahl, you're such a Jew!"
"Kyle, why does Cartman have your shirt?"
"Bubbie, where are you? Mrs. Marsh said you left two hours ago, oh I'm so worried! Call me!"
"Kahl I'm seriously now about your phone. Turn it on!"
"You've lost it haven't you? Is that why no one can reach you?"
"Meem wants to know if you're staying over again tonight and if it's all pigs that you can't eat because she accidentally bought this macaroni and cheese thing with pieces of ham in it. Call meh when you get this."
"Hey dude, it's Kenny. We're all going to George Lucas's house to steal…something. Anyway, we'll come pick you up at five."
"I'm sorreh about the ham."
"Hello sweetie, it's Leanne. I'm just wondering if you're still coming with us to Florida. I know you've just had a fight, but Eric really wants you to come…no meeeem!…so please call us about that."
"Hey Bubbie, I hope you're enjoying your trip. You left some sunscreen here, you know the special kind, so I sent you some more. I love you!"
"I'm sorreh I threw you in the whale tank."
"Hey this is Stan. We're all going to the white house to protest the use of choir bands to promote awareness about social issues. So yeah, we'll come pick you up at five."
"This is Kenny and oh my God, I am so high right now! You're probably too busy sucking Cartman's balls right now but can you come pick me up? I'm under a bridge…somewhere. Hey, where are we? It's called the golden gate bridge, so come get me."
"Hey Kahl, Kahl! What's a Jewish bird call? Cheap, cheap, cheap! Oh dude! I bet you wish you could yell at meh but you can't - BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING PHONE ISN'T ON!"
"Do you have today's history notes?"
"I miss you."