Hi! Little authors note here, first let me just clarify, this is fanfiction and I try my best to be historically accurate and stay true to the original story, but remember, there will be some mistakes, I'm human, but just remember this is fiction and just go along with it, it's part of the story that I'm writing. I live for your reviews, but please don't go crazy if there's a few mistakes! Thank you and goodbye :)
-Becasoras
We had only been in this small, lifeless town for about a year and were starting school up all over again, I hated this, it got so repetitive, I was a soldier, not some little teenager, I fought in the Civil War of America just to ignore the civil war among these petty high schoolers I sat with for seven hours a day. I just wanted to run away, I felt so out of touch in my family, I was the only one with any special powers among them other than Emmetts super strength, I felt like an outcast being the empath and these teenage's extreme emotions hurt my dead brain. Life was meaningless, even the attraction to my wife of almost a hundred years was fading quickly, but no one knew. I was becoming a robot and I couldn't escape because they were the only people I've known since being a vampire other than Peter and Charlotte, but I wouldn't want to third wheel on left me with one option, stay with my, 'family' and pretend to love someone who was now a stranger to me. We may have thought that we were mates in the beginning, but now there is nothing between us and I think we were better off as a fling.
After almost an hour of anxiety filled rooting through my closet, I decided to wear some nice black jeans, some black army boots, and a deep forest green v neck shirt. This was one of my favorite outfits to wear just because the green brought out my eyes and the boots made my look badass, the only thing was, I could never wear it in Phoenix, I guess that was one of the perks to living with Charlie. I put on a silver anchor necklace and went to style my hair, but instead left it down naturally, I liked the way the subtle waves of my ebony hair seemed to clash against my deathly pale skin. I chuckled, thinking of how I lived in Phoenix almost my entire life, but still looked like a ghost, but at least not I'd fit in. I grabbed my backpack and walked out to my rusty old truck that sounded like a roar when you started it that sscared birds away. Idrove in silence, wishing that Charlie would get my a modern stereo for my birthday this year, I loved my music, especially in the car, but it was all on an IPod and the car technology was closer to the stone age than now. I rolled into the parking lot, thirty minutes early for my first day of tenth grade, wow, I thought, so exciting, all of this was obviously sarcastic, I thought high schoolers were immature and stupid, but then again, I had the mind of a middle age woman. I guess because I had been taking care of my mom my entire life I had no time to be a teenager because I was the parents, so I wasn't really into anything other high schoolers were like drinking and drugs, I just wanted to be done with all of it. I got out after a small moment of contemplation about everything around me, my eyes sweeping the almost empty parking lot for the main office. It was september yet I had to put on my dark leather jacket, I wondered how cold it could get, but this was probably because the sun only came out at most for a week and that was in June, so you can imagine what affect that has on the climate. When I walked in I was instantaneously warmer so I took off my jacket once more and walked up to the conservative looking lady behind the desk, who I assume is holding schedule.
"Hello." She said in a high voice that didn't match the clouds outside.
"Hello, I'm Bella Swan and I'm here for my schedule." Her eyes lit up with recognition at my last name, sometimes I hated just how small this town really was.
"Ah! You're the chief's daughter, I've been waiting for you." She mumbled about how great my father was and whatnot until I saw her take out a piece of paper (I'm assuming was my schedule) and she suddenly fell silent and raised her eyebrows.
"Wow, Ms. Swan! I see that you have mostly AP classes, I'm impressed, I've never seen anyone at this school, who is your age and in the college level class. You're a smart cookie!" I cringed slightly at the word that hasn't been used to describe me since the third grade and politely accepted my schedule, leaving without another word. I have Math first, great, I might have to switch that around because my mind in still dead in the morning, so I liked to have subjects like English that can wake up my brain, but not over work it. If there is anything I stand by it is that high schoolers are love struck, failures of the future, but I'm determined to not be like that and actually learn something instead of just chasing boys all day.
One thing I hated about my vampirism is the lust in everyone's eyes when they look at me, like I'm just some kind of meat for them to try their hand at. So far, I haven't seen anyone who even makes me look twice, everyone here is average looking, dull, and shallow, not to mention stupid, I surprised most of them can even pass to the next grade. Still, as I walk down the hall with my brothers, they stare, we're all aa good looking bunch and they know Emmett is dating Rose and some people are intimidated by his muscles, but I don't get why they don't stare at Edward more. He's the one who's actually single, but, not to sound conceited, Edward looks like a bit of a creep and despite everyone in the school thinking I'm some kind of serial killer. These crowds are dull and are always trying to some at all of us, but we always shoot them down, I will never fall for a human, they're all just so… weak.
I go through the entire day being hit on by various guy and girls of various ages (even a professor, ew) but I don't give them or their teenage drama a second glance, it all just annoys me, at least at my other school people knew I wasn't up for the bait. Everyone here is just so plain and plain fades in, but I have heard some whispers in my classes about a family that's super rich and beautiful which had intrigued me, what could make a simple town like this go sow wild it's the only thing they can talk about? During lunch I decided I don't need friends or human contact and sit far away from everyone else in a cluster of empty white tables. I only eat the things on my tray that don't look processed and ignore the rest, I'm very prideful about my figure and I don't want to mess it up, I've worked hard for it in these many years. I sometimes compare myself to a lioness, deadly and unmoving, full a pride and wit, I think that describes me and so I stick by it. To my displeasure some girl came and sat next to me, interrupting my train of thought, I looked at her and remembered that I had met her earlier, shallow and stupid, is what I had concluded so I don't why she was sitting by me.
"Hey, I'm Jessica, we met earlier." She said with fake kindness shining in her eyes.
"Yes, I remember." I shot her down, but it's not like it wasn't second nature to me already. She tried to keep up some kind of chatter, but I kept giving her one liners that I know so well. About halfway through lunch some people walked, and I must say, they were all beautiful. They all walked with grace, even the mountainous man which seemed impossible, but the probability of that many good looking people in this school was slim to none. They were all dull just like the rest except for one blond haired girl, but she seemed to be pretty close with the bodybuilder next to her. Jessica must've seen me staring because her eye lit up with a topic of conversation and for once, I was actually interested.
"Are those the Cullens?" I asked, looking at their shocking golden eyes, I've never seen anything like that before.
"Yup, they're all adopted brothers and sisters, their parents are Carlisle and Esme Cullen, Carlisle is the doctor and they're LOADED. It's kind of weird, most of them are dating each other except for one, but I guess since they're not related it's okay. One of the guys isn't here today, I wonder why?" She continued to tell me all about the family and I had a fun time filtering out the facts from the gossip. By the end, however, I wanted to know even more, they were my new problem and I wanted to figure them out, the only problem was that they were all social recluses.
The emotions had overwhelmed me once more and I had to go home before lunch, well, at least that's what I told the rest of my siblings. In all truth I had left to smoke, it's weird, I started smoking when I was fifteen in Texas and even as a vampire I haven't been able to stop, even if it doesn't affect me anymore. I remember how alienated I felt among the perfect vegetarian vampires, so I told them I had stopped the habit, but truly I just smoked when I wasn't around them and no one knew that I had never changed. I liked being a vegetarian, but not all the time, I think a balance is the strongest way to control your thirst, but they won't listen to me thinking I'm just a bloodthirsty monster. I sighed, no one will ever understand me, how do I even know I have a mate?
Homecoming was coming quickly and I didn't really want to go, but for some reason, I felt a pull, but I think it was just from Charlie pushing me. I think he wanted me to make friends and be overjoyed with the world, he even gave me money for a dress, well, more than enough money. I decided I'd be simple this year and just picked a sleeveless black dress that cut off half way up my thigh paired with some cute black heels and that's it. I looked like I could be attending a funeral, but I didn't really care as I climbed into my large truck and rode off into the night.
Unlike our first homecoming last year, this year Alice was making me go along with all my siblings. I don't know why, she knows I don't really like to dance, but then again, I've only ever danced with Alice and she always wants to show off, having me twirl her around and throw her into the air. I sighed as I tied up my tie in the mirror, I thought back to my years as a general and almost wished I was back in the war and not getting all dressed up to show off, I guess they didn't know that if you have money you don't have to look rich.
"Come on Jazz, we're going to be late!" Alice yelled, coming out in a short dress, if I actually cared, I wouldn't let her go out in it, but I really didn't. I finished my tie and she grabbed my hand, dragging me out to the brand new Porsche Edward got her, I swear, sometimes they look more like mates then we do. She let me drive thankfully, I love driving, but all I have are motorcycles that Alice hates, they remind me of actual horses and it's kind of comforting. I start the car and if the tail lights didn't flick on, I wouldn't have known the Porsche was on, there's always something about sports cars that make them dead silent in an almost snake-like way.
I arrived at homecoming, not in a carriage like Cinderella, but my car did draw eyes like always. When I stopped, everything was so silent except for the blaring music inside, and before I got out of my truck I thought about just not going, but then Charlie popped into my head and he gilt tripped me into getting out and so I did. I looked around and to my surprise, the Cullens were here, I could tell because they had overly pricey sports cars sitting next to the average ones, maybe their other brother is here, the one I only heard of so far, at the moment I considered him a myth, but you never know. Cute couples were getting their pictures taken outside in front of a backdrop and I tried to walk around them the best I could seeing as that was the only way in. I'm guessing I was late by the lack of line afterwards, but I didn't care, the less time here, the better. When I walked in, I couldn't help but roll my eyes, thinking about how stereotypical homecoming was, the girls dancing with their dates, the guys waiting for it all to be over so the you'll get some, it was the epitome of teenage life. I walked around, hiding my face so I wouldn't be seen, I knew how to dance, but I didn't really like to and interacting with other people just seemed awkward and painful.
When she walked in, my heart started to dance. I'm sure no one noticed, seeing as Alice was too busy talking to Rose and the other two had ran off. Who was this girl? I thought, I had never seen her before, but taking a deep breath, I reconsider her scent around the school. She was beautiful, with deep, dark hair and forest green eyes, she was like a mystery I longed to look into. I could feel her emotions, uncomfortable, and I knew if anyone tried to approach her, she'd shoot them down, but that didn't stop me from walking up to her when the others had gone away. I didn't walk up to her directly, I leaned on the wall next to her, I could feel her unease grow, but there was also curious it's so I considered it safe.
"Hello, I don't believe we've met before, I'm Jasper Cullen." I said addressing the strange girl directly, holding out my hand.
"Bella." She said, taking my hand, not noticing the unusual temperature. Bella, what a lovely name. Her voice was deep, but like velvet to the ears, and all I wanted was to here her talk more. "I've heard about you."
"Really?" I asked, leading her on.
"Well, it seems that everyone in school loves to talk about you, but I've only heard bits and pieces, I'm not really into gossip." We talked more and I couldn't help but fall in love, compared to everyone else I had met, she's a rare flower in the desert, with a exotic appearance and intelligent eyes, she was perfect. Once I felt her becoming more and more comfortable with me, I even asked her to dance, and to my pleasure, she accepted. Unlike the clumsy, offbeat people around us, she was an excellent dancer, moving with grace to my every step.
"I'm surprised at how good of a dancer you are." I said, breaking the silence.
"I used to dance all the time, but I stopped when I moved here." She said, with a bit of sadness in her enrapturing voice. We danced a bit more as I observed her every action and emotion in a way only an empath could.
"Bella, you seem to me as if you've never been satisfied." I said as I twirled her around, her eyebrows knitted together, her mood turning from content to appalled
"I beg your pardon."
"Well, you're like me, I've never been satisfied with anything or anyone in my life." No reply. We stopped after just one more song and we said our goodbyes, after which I got to watch her walk away with heart breaking longing in my eyes that did not leave until I saw the rest of my siblings come over.
"What have you been doing Jazz?" Alice asked with a smile.
"Oh, just sitting here, wondering where you ran off to." I said, covering up my feelings with a fake smile.
"If we just decided to take a walk, that's all." We smiled and waited and I looked over at Edward, who was staring at something with intense lust in his eyes. I looked over and my heart shrivels up into nothingness, he was looking over at Bella. He loved her and I knew I had to step over and let him have her, I was married and they may be mates, I couldn't just upset my family order by cheating on Alice! I knew what I had to do. I walked over to her, tapping her on the back she looked at me with a brilliant smile on her face.
"Jasper?" She asked as I put on a pained, but convincing smile.
"Bella, there's someone I would like you to meet."
"Oh?"
"Follow me." I drug her through the crowd, regretting my every step, but never slowing down until we got to Edward.
"Bella, this is my brother Edward." Edward was surprised to say the least, but I could feel his pleasure.
"Hello." He said in his mysterious, deep voice that he only used around girls, I had to physically hold myself back from rolling my eyes.
"Hello, it's nice to meet you." She said, shaking his hand.
"I'll just let you two talk." I said and turned my back and walked over to Alice, if I were human, I'd be crying, but I still had tears of venom in my eyes, concealed by the dark lighting. I watched their affection grow for each other as the night progressed, the pain and regret in my heart growing by every pulse of love I felt from the couple. I tried focusing on Alice, not thinking about them, but my eyes always seemed to find themselves back to the happy couple in progress.
"Jazz, you seem distracted." Alice said, grabbing my hand and pulling my attention away from Bella and Edward.
"Really? I was watching Edward, making sure he's not making any mistakes." Alice laughed, she knew it sparked my love, but this time there was nothing, it was weird knowing someone you would've died for once was nothing to you anymore.
"Don't worry! I'm sure he won't, this is good for him, he needs some love in his life." She then dropped the subject and whisked me onto the dance floor to show off to the others. Alice and I really weren't compatible, she was competitive and loved to show off and I, on the other hand, was reserved and shy, we clashed a lot, but I just went with it. I left earlier just to get away from my heart break in progress to go and smoke a cigarette and get something to eat. Before I stepped out however, Bella and I shared a glance and I saw the happiness in her eyes and felt her love growing, but I still forced a smile onto my face and continued out.
Edward was amazing, I was surprised Jasper had even approached me, but I was still happy that he introduced Edward and I. We had planned a date next week and I felt like this was going to be the start of something great. When I got home I realised that I did actually have a fun time, something I really wasn't expecting, but I still told Charlie that it was dull just so he didn't get all smug knowing he was right.
When I got back to the house, everyone else was already there waiting for me and I knew there was going to be a family meeting. I rolled my eyes, I hate it when we have these, but it's required to keep the peace and understanding that we've had since we became a family.
"So, Edward, others have told me that you're interested in a human girl. You know this is forbidden." Carlisle, coming out with the big guns.
"But I love her, and I think she'll accept us as we are."
"Maybe, but what if she outs us, I don't want to break my heels running away from an angry mob, not again." Rosalie said, I would have laughed, but it wasn't the time.
"Well, ask Jasper why he introduced me to her, he clearly approves of us and that won't happen again." Edward defended and I internally sighed, why did he have to rat me out?
"How did you know he Jazz?" Alice asked in a sweet voice covering the suspicion in her voice, but I could still feel her emotions.
"She's knew and so I decided to go up to her and talk to her, nothing other than to look for Edward's mate." Alice didn't believe me, but let it pass for another time.
"Edward, do you think she's your mate?" Esme asked, hopeful, she really didn't like Edward being the black sheep of the family.
"Yes, I do." He said it with the utmost sincerity which broke my heart, if he says she's his mate then it must be.
"Well, then this is settled, she will fall in love with you and will later be turned once she knows about us." Carlisle said. It was over, everyone started to leave and I was devastated, I was happy my brother would have the love of his life, but people are selfish and I wanted her as my own, but I guess it was never meant to be.
"Where are you going Jazz?" Alice asked thinking I was off to meet some girl once more.
"I'm just going to go on a run." I said and left before she could offer to come with me. I ran and kept running until I was at a beach somewhere in Los Angeles. I looked up at the stars and broke down, screaming into the sky and throwing a cute little beach chair miles away. I fell to my knees pounded my fists on the soft sand with tears of venom in my eyes once more. My one shot at happiness and I gave it to my brother. I stopped throwing a tantrum after a bit, knowing that she would've never been able to love me if she was Edward's mate. I walked over to another one of those beach chairs and sat down in one, looking at the full moon, I lit a cigarette, thinking about my eternal life of unhappiness. I really didn't have a mate, I decided, I have been alive since the civil war yet I had never met her and so I decided that she never have and never will exist. Hopefully I'll die in battle like I've always wanted. I smoked three more and as I was on the last drag, the burning tip lighting up my somber face I decided if I left now no one would notice my absence. I sighed wondering what it would be like to just leave and never come back, I could even go live with Peter and Charlotte, but no, I had a family and I had to stand by them, even if it meant my own happiness. As I was running back I thought about Alice, she was my wife and I had to honor that, I couldn't cheat on her, she had helped me with so much, I couldn't destroy that…