Disclaimer: If you decide to sue me for this fic, this is only to make sure
isn't because you think I own IY. Because I don't. *Phew*, I'm glad that's
off my chest.
The Outside Looking In
I was Kikyo.
Then I was defeated.
Defeated, by this.girl. This girl who was me.
What does she have that I do not? I was the great priestess Kikyo, the guardian of the jewel. I was renowned, respected. I was Kikyo. People would travel hundreds of miles just to eat at my table. I had Inu-Yasha.
Inu-Yasha. He was mine.
He was mine, and I loved him. He loved me back.
Does everyone forget this?
I was Kikyo. Wise Kikyo. Kind Kikyo. Helpful Kikyo. I died, and this little chit comes along, masqurading as me with her little toy arrows and flaunting her short skirts, pulling my Inu-Yasha's strings like a child's puppet. Everyone just loves her, sweet Kagome. Good Kagome. Loving Kagome. Meanwhile I smother in the shadows, writhing in dust and old glory. Now, to the outside world, I have turned to evil Kikyo. Revengeful Kikyo. Phsyco Kikyo. Even Inu-Yasha thinks those things.
That is what hurts me most.
I passed through hell and fire for him, and I find him hopeless over a girl. A girl that was me. What does she have that I do not? It was I that was the original, it is her who is a version of me, not otherwise. Never otherwise. What gives her the right to take what is rightfully mine?
And she has indeed taken it, for I see a look in his eyes that is never there when I am with him.
No one understands.
They will never know what it is like, to be defeated so utterly.
I loved him, with all my heart and soul, which has now caused me to be like I am. But it was not enough. Not enough against their love, so pure and whole.
Not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
It echoes through my mind, my bones, the core of my being. For it is what I've become. What I've become for him. All for him. Only for him.
Not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
No one understands.
So now I am evil.
Evil Kikyo.
Revengeful Kikyo.
Phsyco Kikyo.
And never enough.
For I am destined to be on the outside.
Looking in.
~*~
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine...
I can't find a reason to let go
Even though you've found a new love
And she's the one your dreams are made of
I can find a reason to hang on
What went wrong can be forgiven
Without you it ain't worth living...alone
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine...
I remember when you were mine...
The Outside Looking In
I was Kikyo.
Then I was defeated.
Defeated, by this.girl. This girl who was me.
What does she have that I do not? I was the great priestess Kikyo, the guardian of the jewel. I was renowned, respected. I was Kikyo. People would travel hundreds of miles just to eat at my table. I had Inu-Yasha.
Inu-Yasha. He was mine.
He was mine, and I loved him. He loved me back.
Does everyone forget this?
I was Kikyo. Wise Kikyo. Kind Kikyo. Helpful Kikyo. I died, and this little chit comes along, masqurading as me with her little toy arrows and flaunting her short skirts, pulling my Inu-Yasha's strings like a child's puppet. Everyone just loves her, sweet Kagome. Good Kagome. Loving Kagome. Meanwhile I smother in the shadows, writhing in dust and old glory. Now, to the outside world, I have turned to evil Kikyo. Revengeful Kikyo. Phsyco Kikyo. Even Inu-Yasha thinks those things.
That is what hurts me most.
I passed through hell and fire for him, and I find him hopeless over a girl. A girl that was me. What does she have that I do not? It was I that was the original, it is her who is a version of me, not otherwise. Never otherwise. What gives her the right to take what is rightfully mine?
And she has indeed taken it, for I see a look in his eyes that is never there when I am with him.
No one understands.
They will never know what it is like, to be defeated so utterly.
I loved him, with all my heart and soul, which has now caused me to be like I am. But it was not enough. Not enough against their love, so pure and whole.
Not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
It echoes through my mind, my bones, the core of my being. For it is what I've become. What I've become for him. All for him. Only for him.
Not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
No one understands.
So now I am evil.
Evil Kikyo.
Revengeful Kikyo.
Phsyco Kikyo.
And never enough.
For I am destined to be on the outside.
Looking in.
~*~
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine...
I can't find a reason to let go
Even though you've found a new love
And she's the one your dreams are made of
I can find a reason to hang on
What went wrong can be forgiven
Without you it ain't worth living...alone
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine...
I remember when you were mine...