CHAPTER 1: SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN

I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't

And now I can not stop pacing

Give me a few hours, I'll have all this sorted out

If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still

I can't be this unsturdy

This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet

Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat

And everything will be back to the way that it was

I wish that it was just that easy

Cause I'm waiting for tonight

Then waiting for tomorrow

And I'm somewhere in between

What is real, and just a dream

Somewhere In Between – Lifehouse

MySpace ruined Bella Swan's life.

I sat at my desk, repeating that phrase in my head. A website full of grammatically retarded morons, glittery hearts and terrible wannabe musicians just managed to rip my entire world apart. I wonder if they'll inscribe my new mantra on my tombstone when I promptly shrivel up and die. I should be getting on that, actually…

I turned and stared at myself in the mirror. Huh. I wasn't crying. That's weird. Things like this always made me cry – and I've had a lot of experience lately. My brown eyes looked vacant and dead. They're usually wide and comically buggy when I get excited. Everyone says I look like my part-Pug dog, Jake, because of it. We've both looked scared shitless recently, waiting for the other shoe to drop, apparently.

I heard the back door open. I'd left it unlocked for him, since he was coming home from some modeling party late. Here comes my reason for being terrified. I turned around in my desk chair and stared at my closed bedroom door. My room was cheerful, covered in posters and pictures. He'd just helped me paint it yellow and blue, and now it was pissing me off. All I wanted right now was to be in a dark, dank cave, preferably one with creepy albino lizards. At least they were blind, and wouldn't have to watch what was about to happen. I don't need their reptilian sympathy. I heard footsteps coming closer and held my breath. Jake stood on my bed, his tags jingling as he wagged his tail enthusiastically. I guess we really were alike, since under normal circumstances, I'd practically be doing the same thing.

Edward opened my door and came in quietly, grinning like a madman as Jake assaulted his knees, begging to be pet. He crouched down and scratched the belly of our little, wriggling puppy. Ours. The beginning of our little family. My stomach clenched, and my eyes started to fill with tears. Ah, there those tears were, I knew they were coming. Edward looked up at me and smiled again, straightening up.

"Oh, baby, I got SO lost leaving the city, it sucked. I'm so tired, come lay," he groaned, flopping onto my bed and lazily reaching one arm towards me so I could climb in. Jake obviously leapt onto the bed and starting maniacally licking Edward's face. Yeah, Jake, I can't stop kissing him either.

"Bellllllaaaa…" he whined, reaching again. I didn't respond. I had no idea what to say. My life, my future, was disappearing like it had been drawn on a goddamned Etch-A-Sketch. Edward propped himself up on one arm. "What's wrong?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the situation to be different when I opened them… Nope, no such luck. A tear escaped, and I swiped at it angrily. A glint flashed in front of my eyes. Oh, right my ring. That makes this all so much worse. I rubbed my thumb over the band on the small ring on my left ring finger, missing it already.

"No, seriously Bella, what?" he pressed, sitting up and looking at me more closely. I couldn't get it out, so I just turned my computer screen towards him. A picture of him passionately kissing a redheaded girl with the obnoxious caption "im so luckyyyyy 3333 me n the boyf" filled the screen.

"Who's Kate, Edward?" I asked.