Author's Notes: Someday, I would like to get a prompt with these two that doesn't involve so much angst. But with this prompt...well, what else could I do.
Fandom: Digimon- Takeru x Hikari
Prompt: "You can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that it's him."
His lips moved across hers, and she returned the kiss with unabashed passion. His blond hair tickled across her forehead as it always did. When he pulled back, she kept her eyes closed to relish the sensation.
"It's late. I should let you go."
His voice was like a cold wave washing over her. It was wrong. So utterly and perfectly wrong. Her eyes snapped open. She leaned back to see him better in the hallway light.
Black hair, not blond.
Brown eyes, not blue.
She'd done it again. Ice spread from her heart, freezing the imaginary warmth she'd tried to delude herself with.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She plastered a smile on her face as fast as she could. Fake though it was, that hardly mattered. This man didn't know her at all. "Nothing." She pursed her lips a moment as she tried to think of something else to say. Nothing come to mind. "Good night…" she trailed off as she realized she couldn't remember his name.
He looked bemused, like he didn't understand quite what was going on. "Yeah. Good night. So, I'll see you?"
"Yeah. I'll call you," she said as she turned away and fit her key into the lock. She suppressed the wince that threatened to escape. She knew that was a lie before it had even come out of her mouth. "Bye." Not even turning around to look at him, she slipped into her dorm and shut the door. She leaned back against it with her eyes shut as she strained to hear. After a moment, she could hear as footsteps retreated away from her door. She let out the breath she'd been holding.
The room was dark and silent, but Hikari expected that. Her dorm mate went home for the weekend. On the other hand, she couldn't stomach the thought of visiting her family at the moment.
"Hikari."
She gasped and jumped as her name came from the darkness. One hand pressed flat against her chest as her heart rose in her throat. A figure rose from the shadows of her bed. Immediately, Hikari's hand sought the light switch and flicked on the lights. As the light flooded the room, the dark figure was illuminated as her friend, Miyako Inoue.
Hikari closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady her beating heart. "Miyako. What are you doing here? How did you get in?"
"Your roommate let me in before she left when I told her I brought something for you from your brother." She waved toward the desk. "I left it on your desk."
Hikari walked over to her desk and picked up the envelope sitting there. Her name was written across the front in her brother's handwriting. She wondered why her brother would choose to communicate like this. But then again, she had been ignoring his texts and phone calls the last couple of months. Rather than dwell on that, Hikari looked at her friend again. "That must have been hours ago. Why are you still here?"
There was a pause before Miyako spoke. "You can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that it's him."
Her body stilled. Knowing she heard her friend but hoping she was wrong, Hikari struggled to figure out what to say. Miyako looked at her with a strange sort of sorrow laced with pity. Hikari found herself bristling when she noticed that. Pity was something she'd had enough of when she was little. Poor, frail Hikari, always sick, always missing out. "I have no idea what you are talking about." She was proud of the way her voice remained even. She didn't have to answer to Miyako. As an adult now, Hikari didn't have to answer to anyone.
Miyako rolled her eyes and sighed. "Don't do that. I'm not an idiot, Hikari. And I've heard things…"
"Well, I'm fine," Hikari interrupted. "You can take that back to whoever put you up to this."
"Put me up…" Miyako repeated in hushed disbelief. "Fine?! You call this fine? What was his name, Hikari?" Miyako's eyes blazed as her nostrils flared.
Hikari's breath caught in her throat. She bit her lip and turned away. She didn't know.
"What was his name? What was the name of the man you were making out with on the other side of that door?"
She couldn't answer.
"My goodness, Hikari, can you even see what you're doing to yourself?"
"I told you that I'm fine," Hikari snapped whirling on her friend. She didn't need this. Not from anyone and certainly not from someone who called herself Hikari's friend.
Miyako gave her a hard stare with narrowed eyes. "Fine," she said through gritted teeth. "Fine," she repeated as she got to her feet. "I saw that two of my best friends were completely miserable, and I just wanted to help. But since you are so determined to remain miserable, fine. It's your life. Be unhappy for all I care. I'm sorry I even came." She marched passed Hikari without even looking at her.
Words choked in Hikari's throat as she swallowed. It felt like there was something thick stuck in her throat. She struggled to come up with something to say that would justify anything when she heard the door open. Sliding her eyes shut, she expected to hear the door slam after her friend. And she wouldn't blame her a bit if Miyako did.
So, she was surprised when she heard Miyako speak again. "Just remember how happy he made you. Geez, Hikari, we could all see how happy you were together. Sometimes, sickeningly so," she added with a dry laugh. "I can't see how anything in the world would be worth giving that happiness up." A few seconds later, the door shut with a soft audible click, leaving Hikari alone.
Tears burned in Hikari's eyes as her legs collapsed beneath her. She sank to the ground and buried her face in her hands. Memories assaulted her mind. Memories of when it had all gone wrong.
"No, it's fine."
"I'm really sorry, Hikari. I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Yeah."
"I love you."
"Mmhm. Bye, Takeru."
"…Good-bye."
Hikari lowered the phone from her ear. Her thumb pressed the red button to hang up on the call. She studied his name on the screen before it disappeared and went dark. A dark feeling rolled in her chest.
She'd lost count of how many times Takeru had blown her off for work.
She didn't want it to be, but the thought was there. The memories and the history fed it with ease. Her hands clenched around the phone, and her feet walked towards the door before the thought had even formed. She grabbed her coat and slipped out into the hallway. As she exited her dorm and stepped outside, the waning sun was slipping from its afternoon height into twilight. She didn't have to think to get to her destination; her body knew the way so well having traversed it so often.
When she got to the building she wanted, she sat down on the curb and waited. Waited and tried not to let the thoughts consume her as the sun slipped down below the horizon. As night fell and more and more people walked passed her into the building, she tried and tried. But the thought would not leave. It would not cease to exist now that it had shown itself.
"Hikari?"
Familiar hands gripped her arms and brought her to her feet. Familiar eyes looked down at her in concern and confusion. It was all so familiar but words stuck in her throat. Everything she'd wanted to say, to ask, gripped her too tightly to be spoken. Made her too afraid of what the answer would be.
"What are you doing here? It's so late and you must be freezing."
"I could ask you the same thing."
The hands that had been running up and down her arms came to a stop as the words slipped from her. His head tilted as he continued to look down at her. "What do you mean?"
The words came spilling out, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. "Why are you out so late? You told me that you were working, but it has to be…" A quick check on her phone told her the time. "Past midnight. Why are you working past midnight?"
"I told you that I was taking the late shift of someone who called in sick."
"And I never see you anymore," she continued as if he hadn't even spoken. "We don't talk, and you always have some excuse, some work for why you can't see me. I just don't…I don't know what to think any more."
His hands snatched away from her arms like she was fire and had burned him. His whole body shifted away from her. "So, what do you think? Do you think I'm what? Cheating on you?" There was an accusation in his tone that she couldn't pinpoint. It was too defensive, too harsh for what she knew about him.
"I don't know what to think!" she repeated, louder than perhaps she meant to. But she couldn't take it back now that it was out there.
"You're supposed to trust me because I love you!"
"And I'm sure your father loved your mother."
A heavy silence fell around them. She hadn't wanted to say it, but the thought was there. The pattern already existed for her to follow.
"So that's it. You think I'm like him."
"You're acting like him."
"And you don't trust that I have a reason. You'll abandon me like the rest."
"What else am I supposed to do? Why should I continue to let you hurt me?" She reached out a hand but thought better about it. "I'm sorry it had to end this way."
"Sure. Whatever." Without another word, he brushed passed her and entered his dorm. Hikari was left alone in the dark cold, a hollow feeling in her chest. She'd been hurt, but somehow this hurt so much worse. But she couldn't take it back. She'd said it all, laid it out there to bare. She would have to live with the words she'd spoken to him.
Hikari was crying again. Perfect. She blinked the tears away as she moved to her next class. Miyako's words from last night echoed in her ear again. Her friend she may be, but Miyako had no right to put herself in the middle of this situation. Hikari didn't even know anymore where the tears were coming from. Whether they were out of sadness, anger, or emotional overload altogether was anyone's guess.
Late for class, she took a shortcut she normally avoided these days. She came around the corner of a building and bumped into someone. A hand reached out and grasped her wrist before she could fall to the ground. "Sorry," she blurted automatically, eyes lifting up to see who she'd bumped into.
There was a reason she didn't take this shortcut anymore.
She definitely didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with him right now.
His hand let go of her wrist like she was fire. That was fine with her. Ducking her head, she made to move around him, but his voice stopped her. "Hikari, can we talk?"
Squeezing her eyes shut, she pursed her lips and took a deep breath. Her heart pounded in her chest and she was half-tempted to ignore him completely. "I don't think we have any more to say to each other," she said. Her hands gripped the strap of her bag, wringing in beneath her fingers. She took a step away.
His voice stopped her in her tracks.
"I've heard things about you," he called after her. "About what you've done recently."
She whirled around, emotions too close to the surface for rational thought. "I don't see how that's any of your business," she snapped. Heat flooded her face and pressed at her eyes. Embarrassment and lingering anger flooded through her. Out of all the people in the world, he was the last person she wanted to know about that.
His eyes flashed. The anger in his eyes was easy to read. "Do you know what they say about you?" he asked.
If she was honest with herself, she didn't want to know what they said about her. It was clear from both Miyako's and his reactions that it wasn't anything good. "Why do you even care?" she pleaded. Hikari wanted to cover her eyes, close her eyes, and wish it all away.
"Why do I care?" he repeated in a hushed tone. There was a broken note in his voice, like he was seconds away from choking up in sobs. "Oh, Hikari, do you really not understand?"
There was too much brokenness and gentleness in his voice, in his words, for her to handle. She whipped around so he wouldn't see the hot tears coursing down her cheeks. "Just leave me alone," she called over her shoulder as she ran away.
Takeru watched as Hikari disappeared from sight. His slammed the side of his fist on the side of the building, ignoring the pain that caused. This was not how that conversation was supposed to go. He was supposed to apologize. He was supposed to explain everything. He was supposed to tell her how much he still loved her.
He was most certainly not supposed to accuse her and snap back at her in anger.
Everything was so messed up. And he was so angry at himself. Because it didn't have to be this way, and he felt that he could have prevented so much of this. He thought back to the night where it had all began. Or ended to be more appropriate. He shouldn't have let any of that happen. From all the work he'd been doing recently, he'd been so tired and hadn't been thinking straight. He let everything get to him more than he should. He let old fears dig out of his heart; old fears of being abandoned and of becoming like his father sliced through him in that moment. That was no excuse to snap at the love of his life, but it happened and there was nothing he could do to change the past.
All he had to do now was convince Hikari to talk to him.
And this time, not to snap at her and push her away.
She skipped class. Even the day after they broke up, she hadn't skipped class. But now she was skipping class because she was crying and sobbing and had zero desire to actually be in public at the moment after she had run into the man that she used to love so much and had snapped and argued yet again leaving a sour taste in her mouth.
So, yes, she skipped class.
Her bag dropped to the floor after she entered the dorm room, not even caring where it fell. Climbing onto her bed, she curled her legs up tight to her chest. To stop the tears from falling, she bit her bottom lip. It could have been a few minutes or hours that she laid there, lost in the darkness of her heart. On her desk, something caught her eye. Hikari sat up and looked at the envelope sitting there. It was the letter from her brother. She had completely forgotten it yesterday after Miyako left. Uncurling her legs, she slipped off the bed and picked it up. Turning it in her hands, she took it back to the bed with her. She sat against the wall and slipped her fingers beneath the seal. The seal ripped under her fingers, and she took the letter out. Unfolding it, she read what her brother had written.
Hikari,
Since you seem to be ignoring us and won't respond to any digital attempts to contact you, I'm coercing Miyako into delivering this for me. If you're scared about seeing me because you think I'll be disappointed or angry at you, I want to tell you that I'm not. I'm not angry at you. I'm not disappointed. You are my precious sister, Hikari. I love you and I'm always on your side.
That being said, I want to talk to you. When you are ready to see me, I will be waiting at Daiba Park every day at 4pm until you come. Find me at the corner near Rainbow Bridge.
See you soon.
Taichi
Inadvertently, her eyes found the clock. It was a little past three in the afternoon. She could make it there in time if she left now. Her hands found her purse and slug it over her shoulder. Hikari went to her bag and fished out the essentials to transfer them to her purse: wallet, phone, keys, Digivice. Exiting, she locked the door behind her and left her dorm for the nearest Metro station.
As the train to Odaiba made its wide turn around the track to cross over the Rainbow Bridge, she gazed out the window. She could see the water and Daiba Park next to the bridge, jutting out from the main land in a diamond. She exited the train on Odaiba-kaihinkoen Station. The garden she passed as she headed north from the bottom of the stairs looked beautiful on this spring day. She was tempted to stop and walk through the flowers, forget that she ever came here to meet Taichi. But she gathered up her courage and continued northwest along the sidewalk next to the beach. She reached the path that would take her to Daiba Park and she walked along it, still heading northwest with the bridge within sight.
A few minutes was all it took before she was there. She pulled out her phone and looked at the time. She was still almost fifteen minutes early. It wasn't quite four yet. Her brother was not there when she arrived at the area he'd said. She pulled out her phone and browsed her social media. The time she'd spent on them had been pretty sparse since she'd broken up with Takeru. Hikari had been afraid of the reactions she might see. But now it was a way to pass the time without too much extra thought.
When she opened one app, there was a personal message waiting. This one stood out from the rest because it was from Takeru. And it was dated yesterday after their fight. Hikari clicked on it. As she read the words, fire lit her cheeks and ice ran down her chest all at the same time. Her thumb hovered over the reply button.
"Hikari!"
Jolting, Hikari closed her phone and tucked it away again. She turned toward the familiar voice and found herself smiling at her older brother despite herself. Taichi threw his arms around his sister and lifted her into the air in an exuberant hug. "It's good to see you, sis."
Tears prickled at her eyes. Hikari was almost angry at herself, wondering if she would ever stop crying. "I've missed you," she whispered.
Taichi pulled away and looked down at her. "Tell me what happened."
It was like him to be so blunt and straight to the point. But as Hikari looked at his open, honest expression with no judging in his eyes and only loving patience, it all came spilling out. "Oh, Taichi, I was just so awful to him." The whole story came pouring out of her. Her brother didn't interrupt at all, attentively listening to every word. "I don't know what came over me," she finished. "I was so afraid that I was losing him. That he would leave me."
Silence lingered a moment after she stopped talking. "You know," Taichi began finally. "I've never see Takeru abandon anyone. I've always wondered if that stemmed from the fact that most of the people in his life have abandoned him in one way or another. Even me. Though, to be fair, it was completely unintentional and unplanned on my part. As it has been for others as well. When I found him…but now is not really the time to psychoanalyze Takeru's mind. Regardless, I've never known him to abandon anyone, least of all you." He smiled at her. There was reassurance and a certain knowing look about him that gave her pause.
In that moment, as she studied his expression, it clicked. "You know what his reason was." It was not a question but a certainty.
His grin grew wider as if he was delighted that she figured it out. "I do," he agreed.
Questions begged to be answered, each one on the tip of her tongue. What was the reason? How did he know? When did he find out? Why did he smile about it? But the thought that fought to the front, that won out, wasn't a question at all. It was another statement, another certainty. "You're not going to tell me what it is," she said.
"No, I'm not," he confirmed. "As much as I want to interfere, this is something you need to figure out between the two of you. As Sora constantly reminds me," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "But I'm not above nudging you in the right direction. One that will bring you so much happiness. Just…give it another chance, Hikari. Please."
That word resonated in her as she remembered Takeru's message.
I'm sorry, Hikari. I want to see you. Please.
Another echo rang through her mind.
"Just remember how happy he made you. Geez, Hikari, we could all see how happy you were together."
Hikari pulled out her phone and opened the screen lock. The message was still there, the last thing that had been open before she locked the phone. She pressed the reply button and typed one word. Which she said out loud as she looked up at her brother and hit the send button.
"Okay."
That night, when there was a knock on her door, she was expecting it. Opening the door, there he stood with all his blond hair, blue-eyed self. "Hi," she said.
"Walk with me?" he asked.
Hikari nodded. He reached out and trailed a hand down her arm until he grasped her hand. Goosebumps appeared all along the path his hand took. Gently, he tugged her forward. She exited the apartment, pausing only long enough to close and lock the door.
He didn't let go of her hand.
She didn't pull her hand away.
They left the dorm, and he didn't even have to lead her. Simultaneously, without communication, they both knew their destination. They arrived at a bench on campus they had claimed as their own their very first year there. Once they sat down, their hands separated from each other.
Hikari didn't want him to apologize first. After all, she had started this. "I'm sorry, Takeru," she said. "You were absolutely right. I should have trusted you. And I never…I never thought you were cheating on me. I thought…I thought you wanted to leave me. And I know that's stupid, but hearing you say you couldn't make that last time...I don't know. Something came over me, and it was too much. I should have listened to your reasons, I shouldn't have jumped on you, it's true, and I'm just…so sorry."
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, too. I'm an idiot. I should have explained it to you," he said. Denial was on her lips again until shock silenced the words when Takeru pulled a small black box from his pocket. A gasp caught in her throat as her eyes went wide. "Honestly, I was working. I asked for more shifts, took other people's shifts, as often as I could so that I could buy you this."
He held it out to her. Gingerly, she took it in her hands and popped it open. Nestled in the velvet was a ring. A smooth stone that sparkled with all the colors of the rainbow shone back at her.
"I thought about getting a diamond because obviously that's more traditional. But when I saw this opal a month ago, it seemed…I don't know…right for some reason."
Comprehension dawned on all fronts. This was an engagement ring. Takeru bought her an engagement ring. Takeru bought an engagement ring a month ago. A month ago was well after they had broken up. Takeru bought an engagement ring for her after they had already broken up.
"Regardless, I've never known him to abandon anyone, least of all you."
Taichi's words returned to her. "Takeru, I…" Words caught in her throat. She hardly knew where to even begin to explain what a complete idiot she'd been. Hikari wanted to find the right thing to say. Whatever would keep him here, whatever would fix everything, that was what she wanted to tell him.
And as always, Takeru was there to help her out.
He took the box from her fingers and pulled the ring from the velvet. Taking her right hand, he slipped it onto her ring finger. "Let this be a promise. Regardless of the circumstances, somehow your trust in me was damaged. When you're ready, we can talk again about moving it."
Hikari stared at the ring. An idea came to her, a way to put it all right without trying to find the words. She looked up at Takeru, at the gentleness with which he gazed at her. Without breaking eye contact with him, she deliberately removed the ring from her finger, ignoring the downcast expression that caused. Then, she slid the ring back on the same finger. Except this time, it was on her left hand.
She watched the joy grow in him until it radiated from his whole being. "Really?" he asked.
"Yes," she said firmly. She laughed when he gathered her in his arms. And when he kissed her, it was so utterly and perfectly right.
Author's Notes: Yeah, they have a ton more to talk about. But just know that they will talk about their issues and it will all work out.
How did Taichi know? Of course, Takeru asked Taichi if he could marry his sister first. Takeru's abandonment issues? I don't know if he really has them, but I would think that there could be something there. After his parent's divorce, Angemon's sacrifice, and being abandoned one by one after the battle of Etemon...I'm just saying that canon gives the possibility. And I ran with it.