Author's Note: *Tired sigh* And this is where I suppose I once again explain the title: Now, I've never been much of a Britney Spears fan - in fact when I was younger (this was back when I was in elementary school and she was just getting her career started) I found her annoying because all my classmates kept singing her songs all the time relentlessly and without relief - but right now the song mentioned in this story is for me like the best song ever. I absolutely love it. Thought this would be a great tune for Harley, and I've always imagined the Joker and Jonathan dancing together during the chorus, so there you are.
It had been one week since Poison Ivy and Catwoman had found their friend lying cold and dead in one of the storage rooms of the old and decrepit building the villains used for their little monthly "get-togethers" (with strong emphasis on the together for the Joker and Jonathan Crane), and the two remaining females were sitting side-by-side at the conference room table, talking and paying tribute to Harley Quinn's memory. The jester's favorite song was playing on the radio, and Poison Ivy was composing a letter of farewell to be burned on the funeral pyre: Harley was "scheduled" to be cremated by the villains late that evening.
Even though the door was shut, "If U Seek Amy" still managed to leak out into the hallway. . .
- - -
Joker and Crane were laughing, dancing happily with joined hands and quick steps to the slightly creepy lesbian-stalker-tune. As usual, the clown's jitterbug didn't quite fall in line with the beat - but Jonathan was right on tempo. He giggled as Joker twirled him under his arm with one hand, the chaos-lover pulling him in close to swipe at his ear with his tongue before quickly retreating again.
Harley was gone, and now they were truly safe.
Or so they thought.
- - -
Nightfall.
Pearlescent tears rolled down the narrow cheeks of femme fatale Poison Ivy, plant-woman hybrid, as she stood before the sunset-bleached flames with her fellow criminals as the beloved jester-girl was reduced to ashes. Their love had been sweet - though much more boundlessly aggressive both ways than Jonathan and the Clown Prince of Crime could ever be - and Ivy felt as though her black, eco-terrorist heart had been impaled on one of her favorite cacti. She could still remember that very interesting night - it was nearly two months ago, now - when Harley had told her as they lay perspiring and tangled together in the sheets - and each other - about Joker and Crane's little secret. . .
Her green eyes burned brightly, reflecting the inner flame smoldering deep within her evil core.
And she itched for revenge.
END
So, yeah - I read in a website dedicated to Harley Quinn that she is "DEFINITELY bisexual, folks!" and that the comics indicate that she is in a romantic relationship with Poison Ivy as well as the (absolutely NOT true in my world) one with the Joker. NOW do you see why "If U Seek Amy" is the perfect song for her? (hahaha) I don't think I have the capacity to "reminisce" about her and Poison Ivy: sorry to disappoint, but I don't, as they say, "swing that way," and I think it would be kind of hard for me to write those because of my lack of those feelings (see, with Jonathan and the Joker I can just make Crane feminine like I do and then go from there; I can't really imagine a "masculine" girl, per se - but if I had to I'd have to say that Ivy would be the stronger one - Harley has too much of a delicate nature about her, rather like Jonathan Crane, despite her spy-stalking and all). R.S.V.P.!