I'm a 22 year old senior nursing student. I used to write fanfictions in French, but it's been a good four years since I've published. I probably won't be able to post again until january 26th due to my finals. Enjoy.

"Temari, is something the matter? We were making out just now..."

Shikamaru was taken aback by how his wife was suddenly pushing him away. They'd been away from each other for the majority of their engagement period and now they could finally freely sleep with one another, she was resisting him, on their wedding day that is. He got a hold of himself, realising how terribly wrong it would be to have her justify herself for a decision she took for her own body. He noticed how she was tightly holding her yakuta he had undone earlier. He relived how she immediately froze when he had reached for her naked breast and slapped his hand away. He had never seen her so... anxious. Could it be that she had been through a traumatic experience that she hadn't told him about? He jumped. Had she been raped back in Suna?

"I don't feel comfortable doing this. I'm sorry for what I just did, darling."

The newlywed was confused. Really confused. Their engagement days were filled with memories of telling each other how much of a strong desire they had to become physically one and discussing the things they wanted to do to each other and now she didn't feel comfortable? Had he done something wrong? Was it all too fast for her? Maybe she needed some rest from the wedding festivities.

"That's okay, Temari. You don't have to apologize for that. I can't force myself on you. Your body is yours. We can try again when you feel like it, alright? There... Let's cover you back up."

Temari gave him a sorry look when he took the strings of her gown in his hands while she relaxed the arms she put around her chest. Shikamaru was understanding, he didn't judge her for it. His penis still bulging through his pants at the sight of her naked mammary masses, he tied a secure knot and proceeded to kiss her covered shoulder. He could see it in her eyes. She felt guilty and uncomfortable next to him, which hit him straight in the core of his heart.

"I love you deeply, Temari. Please get some rest. I promise I don't blame you for your decision. Would you like me to wait in the room next door? You look like you need some space."

He surprisingly saw her immediately reach for his arm and cling to him like the times he left Suna after visiting her. What was going on? He had never seen her like this. She was extremely flustered and visibly shaken. And knowing how powerless he was hurt him to his core. The day she turned him into a husband was the same day he felt he had failed in his duty to make her feel safe.

"Don't do that. I want to spend our first night in the bed with you, it's just... I'm so sorry for treating you like this."

The room was silent for a moment as Shikamaru was kissing both his hands and the pressure in his reproductive area had gone down.

"You know... My mom died when I was four, right?"

"Temari, you're shaking, honey. You don't have to do this if you're not ready to talk about this."

The new Leaf Village wife violently started shaking her head and crashed into her husband's chest and his loving embrace, tears running down her eyes. Listening to his consoling words and feeling his hands rubbing her back, she found some spare strength for her next battle.

"The first memory I have... Is that of my mother in the basement of our home, being restrained on her back by three older women while my father raped Gaara into her. She had refused to carry a child with the sole purpose of it becoming a demon bearer, so he forced her to, following the Suna lords' recommendations. I had never seen my mother in such pain. She even ended up losing consciousness. Ever since... I haven't been able to yield control to a man, Shikamaru. You've gotten considerably bigger than me. I lose to you almost every single time we spar. You could hurt me if you wanted to. If you... Shikamaru, if you ever get on top of me I'll have a panic attack. I can't take the vulnerability that comes with being sexual with you. I'm so sorry I can't make this night memorable for the both of us. I'm sorry-"

His lips near her mouth gently silenced her as he pulled her into her arms, catching her as she sobbed away against him.

...

Temari blushed as she saw Shikamaru walk by from his spot at the table, closing the scroll he was reading to walk to the kitchen. He stopped behind the couch and put a hand on her shoulder, asking if she needed a drink or snack, taking in the scent of her hair she had decided to wear down that day.

« No, I'm okay, thank you. »

She couldn't believe this is what married life looked like. Shikamaru was as kind and caring as ever, while she slowly started to think and handle as such. She was softening up and was learning to keep her eye on making her husband comfortable in their home. Besides for sex. It had been a day over a week since their wedding and she wondered if he would be able to take the wait. She already knew of his lonely adventures in the shower to give himself some relief and she couldn't blame him. Her handsome and understanding husband. She too needed relief. For some reason, him being so attentive to her needs made her want to physically connect with him. It had been two days since she started blushing all day at the mere sight of him. But at the same time, she didn't know if she was ready to give him full and unlimited access to her scarred heart, through her body. It was a lot. When he walked by with a glass of water, she hesitated to call him, struck by the thought she was the only pure soul in the room. Her husband had already slept with women before they'd started dating almost a year ago. And it made her self-conscious. He married you. Grasping her courage with both hands, she decided to call out his name and asked him to come and sit on the couch with him. As he did so, he flashed her a love filled smile and gave her lips a casual peck. As if she was waiting for his signal, she kept her mouth shut, dreading the possibly upcoming events.

« Alright. Tell me, Tem. »

Noticing her hesitant and shy eyes, he told himself marriage really was smoothing her out and kissed her again. She breathed out silently.

« I'd like to give intimacy another try. Are you... doing anything with the boys tonight? »

Shikamaru's heart briefly made a small jump at her cuteness showing on her pinked up cheeks and her tightly closed knees. He had been patient the last week. Waiting for her. He knew giving it a try didn't mean they would succeed in it. With her permission, he had talked about their private issues with captain Yamamoto, as he was a renowned psychologist in town apart from being a war hero. | When the time comes, you need to make use of your authority, or should I say 'your confidence in your actions' in order for you to connect with what I am trying to explain? Temari is insanely breakable in that area. She might possibly suffer from what we call Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. And at that particular moment of closeness, she'll be hyper aware of her delicate position. If she senses uncertainty in what you're doing, she will feel unsafe. Do not flinch. | He slid a hand around her waist and approached their faces.

« We'll start making out here. When you'll feel like being touched below your waistline, let me know and we'll go upstairs to the bed and I'll crawl under the sheets with you. You can stop me whenever. Are you okay with that? »

« I am okay with that. »

Hearing her consent, he waited for her to exhale once more before he lifted a hand to her face and cocked his head to the side for their lips to make comfortable contact as they moved against each other. Thoroughly searching her oral cavity with his tongue, he pulled her closer to him in the corner of the couch, lifting her right leg to cross over his left thigh. Her robe being short, the movement made a pair of ivory lace panties show, making him shiver. He knew exactly what he was doing. In a flash, he remembered a conversation he and Temari had a few weeks ago and the day following their wedding. About how him having slept with three women the year before they started dating made her insecure, since he wanted to keep their relationship free of intimacy until they got married. She was the Kazekage's daughter. He was to follow their rules, otherwise he was risking her being publicly bashed if them being intimate outside of wedlock was ever discovered, let alone if they would accidently conceive a child. Of course she had felt honored, but it had the effect of making her feel less desirable as well. Why was he able to control himself around her and not those other women? "Because you mean so much to me, I want to treat you like royalty. I can't rush into things with someone as special as you. I could wait decades. All you'd have to do is ask." He looked down at her gown and lowered his hand to the loose knot hiding her upper half to untie it and push the layers aside for the purpose of baring her chest as he kept kissing her. She didn't waver. Her breasts weren't great in size, but he loved them from their first night and the glimpses he was able to catch of them during the four days they had spent at a private inn for their honeymoon. Remembering her reaction the last time he attempted to touch her there, he firstly kept his hand under the nearest rib. He was hardening.

"I'm going to feel you up, Temari."

"Please do so."

His left hand tightening at her waist, he placed a hand under the swell of her left boob, catching it, slowly taking in its texture as he molded it in the palm of his hand and felt the movements of her tongue grow more passionate. When he moved his hand up to let his thumb and index take a hold of the rosy nipple to his disposition, he caught the echo of a whimper sneaking out into his throat. He thumbed it, flicked it, rolled it, pinched it and ended up letting go of her lips to take her right areola into his mouth, which awarded him hearing his name erotically resonating in the room. And it was sexy. She was puffing, visibly trying not to be noisy, which he promised himself to do something about later. As he tried to calmly take in the commotion of her leg against his crotch, he remembered had other priorities. The swelling in his pants made the building tension uncomfortable. Somewhere in his mind, a wise voice was telling him to settle down. The heavy petting he was giving her was the easy part. Nothing guaranteed that she wouldn't freeze and push him away once he'd lay her down. Of course missionary wasn't the only position he could consummate their marriage in and it seemed evident he wanted to try many more with her, but he needed to get rid of this trauma and replace it with something unforgettably beautiful. Sexing her up that way was his trial at giving her the therapy and psychological attention she had never received. His thoughts were cut short when he heard a pleading voice he couldn't recognize come from his wife, giving him instructions he had never thought he'd hear from her.

"Pussy too… Put your hand there too. I can't wait upstairs."

That's when he lost it. He jumped at her neck, almost aggressively sucking at her pulse point and kissing it while he let his right thumb travel down her naked stomach, making a stop in the fold of her navel, to end up right where he found her clitoris through her fine lingerie, enlarged from delightfully scented and well-earned excitement. When an experimental caress from the top to the bottom of the bundle of nerves earned him a horny cry he smiled in the crook of her neck and bit her earlobe, reassuring her she could increase the distance between her knees. Not a spy of hesitation was to be seen as she immediately did so, enjoying the now circular motions of his digit on her womanhood and the massaging of his left hand on her breast.

"That's my naughty girl."

She crashed into him, whispering his name in a way that'd make any man lose his mind. Each time he rolled her jewel from side to side and scraped it up and down, he could feel how the lace surface he was playing on was getting more damp and thicker from the liquids escaping from her insides. Naturally, his hand slipped through the right side of the undergarment and before he could ask for her approval her hips bucked towards his hand, allowing him to slip his middle finger into the sweet walls of her wetness, never letting go of the button he'd been busy with. Somehow, Shikamaru managed to get his wife completely naked. Now we're talking, he thought when she grasped his crotch and clumsily rubbed at his pants, begging to take her upstairs against his shirt. He didn't instantly comply, but pumped his ring finger into her flesh, enjoying the feeling of the muscles of pelvis working to keep them in. He couldn't believe she would ever comprehend what those noises and touches were doing to him.

"Give me a good stretch first and take this fingering, will you, sweetheart? Then we'll go to bed and I'll show you a gentleness you've never known. Just like that…"

"I want to lay on my back".

Now. That was it. It was now or never. Picking her up behind her knees, he made her rest her head against his shoulder as he hurried to their bedroom, where he quickly but carefully put her down and stood in front of her, stripping himself to the extremity of vulnerability and took each item of clothing he was wearing off, including his hair tie. He knew she loved his hair down and hoped that could help easing down the anticipation in her eyes. He could see her staring at him having his hands going up and down his erect penis and kneading his testicles, eyes wide and her cheeks bloodshot red. The color of her eyes were so blurred, it was almost as if she was about to faint. His smile and look of admiration weren't helping.

"Please bend your knees and spread your legs for me, sugar."

She obliged as he put his weight on the mattress and observed the slightest change in her facial expression as he got on top of her. His hands were stroking her hair and his lips kissing away the droplets of sweat pearling on her forehead from anxiety. She was afraid. Still, she hadn't rejected his presence on her body yet. He lowered his head to her ear and kissed it.

"Shall we make love, Temari?"

..

He sure was into dirty talk. She would've never guessed she was too. Temari's breathing was labored as she took in every single one of her husband's thrusts inside of her, legs up, holding him tight around his back while he was pushing against her womb. He was being gentle, just as he promised. And the sensation was amazing. Never had she felt more confident than in his arms when listening to his words of endearment, barely able to talk past her own moaning, slowly coming down from the first orgasm he gifted her moments ago, by attentively working his thumb on her clitoris during his exquisite penetration.

"You're so wet around me from climaxing, baby… You feel so good to me. I love you, my Mrs. Nara. I am thankful to have you… Can you feel you're about to make me come? I'm going to come inside of you, Temari. I'm coming…"

"I haven't done a thing to deserve you as a husband. Not one."