Desert of the unknown
A/N: I don't own MLP:EG and yes this will have mercs, guns and show references YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! HAHAHAHA
"Oh god, its you."
IT'S ME! SCOOT OVER!
"Gah, bitch!"
*loud crash*
…
I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!
"WHAT!?"
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!
"Then scoot the fuck out of my chair!"
Squee!
Standing in the wind whipped desert sun, which made Chris wish he was back in the hospital at the very least as he missed his former girlfriend and sister, both of whom he had no idea if they were dead or alive as he looked at the wallet and saw a picture of him shpouler to shoulder with finger guns to a girl with red and yellow hair in front of a home he had no idea if he would see again, the members of the now-defunct 1121 platoon known in the JSOC circles as the 'Demon Dogs' the unit leader David 'Snake' Smith and his brother and Second in command Christopher 'Scorpion' Scothorne looked at each other and said
"Well what do you know our unit was disbanded 9 long ungodly years ago and the world has still gone to shit" as David slammed the charging handle back on his .50 cal diablo Assault rifle and pointed to Chris' HK417 and said in a sneering tone of voice
"Yeah and you are still using your POS now let's go save the world and trust me boy Ill modify it accordingly or you can trade in for the ACR and actually blend with your unit" and the boys smiled before starting to find the prime recruits for a military without borders and Chris knew the best person who was an old friend to start the recruiting process. As they all piled into the truck they saw Richard who used a FAL with a grenade launcher and a MGL grenade launcher pull up like a chauffeur nodding before sliding back to the machine gun and he hopped up on the back of the jeep and grabbed the M2 before yelling
"Ride my gun wielding steed" and Chris pulled his bandana over his mouth and muttered
"Largo shut the fuck up you jackass" and was internally relieved that the bandana let him keep the smile secret.
Tearing through the desert with a Diamond patch on his vest Chris was wondering how he would approach his first recruit and Richard saw it in his eyes and yelled to be heard over the roar of the Jeep
"Boss do you think she will take you back I mean we were declared dead 9 years ago she has probably moved on" and all Chris would mumble was
"one step at a time probie" and he fell back into silence to keep his head on straight as he had more of an important thought on his mind and his iPod was blaring watermelon crawl and then other 90s country which the group knew what he was listening to and Dave tapped his shoulder and said
"Bro do you think you should get some of the new stuff on your iPod because I mean that stuff is kind of outdated" and he just ignored them because they were just trying to get a rise out of him and he wasn't going to let that happen. Sliding close to him Richard whispered and poked him saying
"hey hey army dick can you drive this tin can a little faster?" and Chris gritted his teeth saying, as he had been a former navy commando
"Im not from the army…. Pencil dick" then fell back into silence focused on driving which got Richard spitting
"oh so back to the silent treatment" then he whispered
"Boot….. Boot…"
"Not. From. The army." Chris growled, his foot mashing the pedal to the floor. Suddenly, the vehicle was rocked as Chris flinched, the hollow thump of a shell launched from beside his head, a large explosion shaking up a large stream of sand.
"BOOOT!" Richard screamed, as Chris slammed on the brakes, spun around, and pointed his knife at his face.
"WHAT DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT 'NOT FROM THE ARMY', YOU LIMP-DICKED, LEAD COCKED, PENCIL DICKED FUCK MONKEY!?" and Richard cracked a smile saying
"You missed the turn toward town about a mile back so see my calling you a boot had a purpose" and Chris smirked and slammed his fist into Richards mouth sprawling him into the sand and then after he was loaded back in the jeep gagged of course Richard squirmed and worked to get the gag loose and as they pulled into town Richard made his presence known yelling
"Help! Kidnappers! Murderers! Rapis- Well, the last one wasn't too bad." And Dash who was running with a 40 pound ruck in honor of scorpion who she had nicknamed Diablo due to a fiery temper and she ran up to the jeep as Chris was dragging Richard out yelling
"God damn it you are so fucking annoying I think an ass kicking will do you good as its long overdue!" and as he reared back to knock Richards lifeless ass into the next years he heard a soothing voice and a country voice in the background yelling
"Hey dash hold up I can't keep up with you" and he then heard Rainbow saying in a calming tone
"boy calm down knocking his ass out won't do anything besides get your ass drawn before the cops" and Dash saw who it was and landed a boot to the gut.
"Oof! I thought we were done with the foreplay Dashie~ Or is it that you want to join in on the fun with Rarity?"
"S-Shut up, you…" Rarity muttered, a soft blush crossing her face.
"Ooohohoho, was it good for you, too?" Richard grinned, Dash's boot locked in place by the muscle in his gut.
"Let… go… of my foot… fatass…!" Dash grunted, attempting to pull her foot away from the large mass of flesh clenching the shoe within its pale mass. Dash fell backwards as her boot came off with a suction noise, and her shoe fell down onto the ground and she fell onto apple jack with the dog tags sliding around her neck almost slapping Jack in the face and all Chris would do after pulling off his bandana revealing a scar on his cheek he helped her up and pulled his tags loose from his shirt and dropped to his knees and helped her get the boot back on and he said
"Pardon the fat-ass recruit Im trying to get him to lose weight" and he shot a death glare at Richard for hurting dash as she winced when she tried to put weight on her right leg. Richard returned his death stare with a wry smile, and stated quickly "Personaltrainingtreesayswhat?" and looking at Richard chris threw a full speed punch and as he ducked Chris grabbed dash as she fell and seeing Richard smile Chris said
"I swear to god you say anything you carrot eating fuck…"
A loud crash echoed from behind the school as a cargo ship the size of the Titanic pulled up into the corridor, and blared its horn, as Richard climbed atop a large rock, and cinematically stated "I SHIP IT!" before saying quietly pulling out a shipping company uniform, "Like Fedex".
"Holy shit, there is a freakin' ship in the back of the school!" Pinkie said and as the sound form the horn died down Vinyl Scratch walked by with Dubstep blaring and David who had been leaning against the wall after riding with the gang said
"excuse me I have to make myself known to another DJ and no I won't be seeing you dicks for a bit" and was blaring dubstep walking away trying introduce himself to Vinyl and not look like a nervous son of a bitch.
"Uh… Should I question the big ass carrier in front of me?" Vinyl stated, rather calmly.
"Nnope." Came the response from Big Mac, as Vinyl simply shrugged, and began talking to the nervous David. Richard chuckled, stating to Big Mac "Hey, look! A big steroid-eating butt monke-"Before he even finished his sentence, he was lifted up by the throat, his legs flailing wildly as Big Mac held him in the air. "Put me down… ya big… gorilla…" He choked out, as Mac adjusted his grip and then said
"Nnope not a chance" and Chris seeing his brother get choked muttered
"Oh god damn it of course I have to save you fatass" before he slammed a kick into his knee getting a pop that everyone heard and he dropped the boy who seeing the glare yelled
"Sandshrew mode go!" and curled in a ball and Chris said
"This is for making me late!" and as Fluttershy said
"We aren't late yet" and Chris said
"We will be after I do this" and punted Richard into a camera shattering it droping sprinkling shining glass almost like a dust on the ground and as Dave and Vinyl were working on a music compilation for a dance show he looked at the shattered camera and Rarity asked
"Do you think he is alive and we really must clean our cameras for the Rave and David poked Richard and he moaned grinding glass further into his wounds and David yelled
"NO HD NO HD NU UH NU UH!" and dash yelled
"Can we have our soccer ball back?" and Richard snapped at dave
"As a teammate you should know I'm not a soccer ball and you are not a goddamn goalie" only to get him thrown back as David said
"Yes I am now watch me" and as the bell rang and the group started walking or limping to class fluttershy and Pinkie said
"Our turn" and as Richard said
"NOOOO" they both kicked him right in to the arms of the gym teacher who dropped him as soon as Richard growled
"I am not a FUCKING SOCCER BALL NOW PUT ME DOWN…. That is if you want to live" and stuck his tongue out and the group went on with the day and as the bell rang a limping dash yelled
"First rounds on the fat one" as Chris held up Richards wallet which he had dropped going into sandshrew mode and laughed before cheering
"Amen and lets go have a blast" and pick dash up sliding her a coke as he had been in her shoes and grumbled as he heard Richard yell a little dramatically
"I so ship this!" as Chris said
"AJ Im sorry for what I had to do just defending family you know and I wonder where dave is?" as he heard rarity saying in a high and mighty tone
"Who cares" as Twilight laughed saying
"Now all of you stay out of trouble" as Chris snickered and smirked whispering
"Then no magic and GUYS ITS TACO TUESDAY!" as they all wondered what got into him before they all headed off to the end of the day and as they all looked around Chris said, quietly hoping no one would ask any questions
"I'll see you all tomorrow" and hopped in the truck before driving to a gas station and not knowing if his home was still in one piece and feeling sick, he pulled over and snuck to the back and grabbed a sleeping bag and thin pad saying
"This place looks abandoned so I stay here and take a well-deserved rest before going to check on my crew and home" before laying it out seeing a girls leather jacket and enough food for three people proving it wasn't exactly abandoned. Grabbing his knife Chris started to move through the building with deathly quiet movements and his steel grey eyes swept for any threat and he heard a girl saying
"Um excuse me sir but who the fuck are you?" and he saw a girl with poofy unkempt and dusty orange and yellow hair and he stuck a hand out, sheathing the knife into his belt, as his mind told him that she wasn't a threat neither were the other two girls sleeping on the popped and cracked tile floor. Looking at them he asked, wondering who had the bed roll next to his own
"I saw there was another guest here but do you know where she is?" and before Adagio could answer he heard
"Hey Desi" and Adagio yelled back
"In the back with the others" and as the girl walked in, Chris saw the look and her red and yellow hair and he smirked subtly recognizing his sister. Watching the other two wake up, the one with blue hair said
"Sundown what do you want eh?" and Sunset replied smiling
"Well Coda if you could wake up Al, erm I mean Allie, I have dinner although if I knew we had company I would have gotten more" finally seeing Chris standing there against the wall casually with his copper red hair looking like someone shoved him in the forge. As they all ate Chris laid out his sleeping bag and pad before making a beef stew he had from a can and added a bit of spices he had taken from the hospital where he had spent some time. Quickly stirring in the spices, he smiled and looked at sunset and said as he noticed the distance between their pads was an ACR in width
"So sis do they know our relation because if not I will be scared they think we are sleeping together and those names are different you know" and she smiled saying
"We all use fake names because we have done many illegal things just to survive and if we get arrested we can't rat on our comrades". As the other three sat down around sunset with full bellies and candles Chris had helped to ensure they had plenty of, Adagio said quietly
"Sundown who is the new boy?" and she smiled happily saying
"This is my older brother Sigma" and they all smiled only to look a little sad as Chris sang
"300 hundred miles our trail had led, we barely had time to bury our dead, when we called retreat I died with a grapeshot in the heart. I almost made the first sea wall when my friends saw me fall. I still smell the smoke and taste the mud as I lay there dying from a loss of blood" and as Sunset saw they all went quiet she sang, trying to lighten the mood, grabbing Chris' hand and dancing thinking of a day when the four who made that home weren't living in a gas station
"I'm talking fancy where the food aint fast, two forks two knives bud light in a glass. Everyone needs one night to go out in style try on a little spot light for a little while". Looking over at sunset who was leaning against the wall after quickly dancing he asked quietly
"Hey sis who are the girls? I don't mean fake names I want the real ones and don't worry I will not tell anyone" and sunset sipped on a drink before replying, almost as if she was weighing her options saying
"Adagio Dazzling is the one I call Desi, Coda is Sonata Dusk and Al or Allie is Aria Blaze. Now promise me you will not tell anyone if you get caught". As the others danced Chris set up his sleep area and pulled down his mask and used it to cover his eyes until he heard a soft mooing sound cut through the still, humid, air. Slowly opening his eyes reaching for the rifle that sunset was snuggling, Chris saw a cow and a young man with a robe and he slowly slid the rifle away from sunset before asking
"What the hell am I looking at?" and Richard wandered in dressed in the robes of an Arabic trader before sunset remarked
"Brother no more Columbian special coffee for you" only to ask the exact same question her brother had just asked seeing the cow and Richard smiled saying
"Bad acid trip eh?" waking the others before selling what Chris needed to stay warm and Richard said
"well brother this will be a place that the kids will enjoy more so watch your back" before he turned and vanished into the night stunning the group with the fact he vanished just as fast as he appeared.