DISCLAIMER: I DON"T OWN ANYTHING... I JUST THINK THEY'RE PRETTY.

Nursing her third drink of the evening, just another face in the crowd, Sara smiled sadly. She couldn't believe that only a couple of hours ago she had actually been looking forward to this.

It was the night of the annual LVPH charity ball, and Ecklie had, as usual, demanded that all senior lab personnel attend. In the past, that decree from on high was the only reason Sara went – a small act of self-sacrifice to keep the peace. This year, however, was different. She and Grissom had been together for almost two years now, but the secret nature of their relationship meant that they had never really been out together on a real date. She like to tell herself that it didn't bother her, that the time that she would otherwise spend preening and preparing for a night out was better spent casually in one another's company on yet another lazy night in. For the most part, this was true. She had never been a girly-girl, and she treasured the time they spent together laying around the home they shared. But when last year the team had been drawn into a long and complicated high-profile murder investigation and been given a reprieve from the ball, she felt her heart sink a little, and ever since she had been counting down the days with barely suppressed excitement.

The very day the invitations arrived, she managed to coerce Catherine into taking her shopping, and after hours wandering from store to store she was finally ready. Time seemed to slow from that point. The minutes dragged and a single day felt like a month. All she could think was that this was their chance, their one opportunity to be out together without running the risk of prying eyes discovering that they were out together. When the day finally arrived, she spent hours getting herself ready, and when she finally stepped back to examine the finished effect, she knew it had all been worth it. The dress, the shoes, the hair, the jewellery: they were all perfect, projecting an image of understated beauty and uncompromising grace.

To further the illusion that this was a real date, they had arranged it so that Grissom would change into his tuxedo at work, and then come and pick her up from her door like a true gentleman. When the doorbell rang, her pulse quickened a little and she had to take a minute before answering to calm her nerves. Sliding back the deadbolt and flipping the lock, she pulled the door open and held her breath. Would he like it? Would it be worth it? One look at his face and all of her questions were answered. Mouth agape, he stood and drunk her in for several long minutes before saying with a reverence she had never heard before, "Sara, you are beautiful." Stepping across the threshold, he took her face in his hands and kissed her softly before leading her down to the car. As they drove, Sara was overcome with a sense of pure joy. This was their night. Nothing could come between them.

She couldn't know how wrong she was.

Even at his worst, Gil Grissom was an attractive man. Put him in a tuxedo and he could take your breath away. The moment they walked into the ballroom, Sara could almost feel the appreciative glances women – and more than a few men – sent his way. At first, their admiration of her lover filled her with a perverse sort of pride. The thought that they could all look, but only she could touch… well, that filed her with another feeling entirely. And then she saw her. Standing across the room on the arm of the Mayor himself, a stunningly beautiful blonde in a dazzling silver gown, who was eyeing the entomologist with the same intensity a predator gives to its prey. Sara watched as she leaned over and whispered something in her companion's ear, before making their way over.

"Dr Grissom, it's a pleasure to see you here. We missed you last year."

"Good evening, Mr Mayor." Placing his had gently on the small of Sara's back, "You remember CSI Sara Sidle."

"Of course. The way I hear it you are one of our most valuable investigators. Very… dedicated."

During these exchanges, Sara hadn't failed to notice the fact that the blonde had never once taken her eyes off Grissom, and it was with growing discomfort that she replied. "Thankyou, sir. You are very kind."

Never one to run from a fight, Sara decided it was best to confront the situation head-on. With a tone thick with false brevity, she turned to the woman and began. "I don't believe we've been introduced." Offering her hand, Sara found herself the subject of a quick and disdainful glance, before the blonde directed her reply to Grissom.

"Madeleine Brennan. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr Grissom. My brother here speaks highly of you."

At the mention of the worlds "my brother", Sara began to think she may be in real trouble. This woman was here as a free agent, and it was clear that she had set her sights on Grissom.

"I'm flattered, Ms Brennan."

"Please, call me Madeleine." And with that she disengaged herself from her brother's arm and stepped pointedly between Grissom and Sara. "I'd love to hear more about your work, Dr Grissom. Perhaps over a drink?"

Sara could see that Grissom didn't know what to do. If he refused her offer, not only would he be publicly rejected the Mayor's sister – and even he was able to recognize that that would not be a wise move politically – but it had the potential or raising the question of whether or not he and Sara were there as more than just friends and colleagues.

After a moment he made his decision. "Certainly, Madeleine. And please, call me Grissom." Sending an apologetic look Sara's way, he allowed himself to be led off towards the bar.

Two hours later, and the blonde had not relinquished her hold on him. In fact, what had started out as not-so-subtle flirting had slowly morphed into more blatantly suggestive behaviour, and Sara found she could no longer force herself to watch. She excused herself from yet another round of inane small-talk with anonymous politicos and other attendees who were there purely for the chance to get their name in the paper, and fled as inconspicuously as possible to the balcony. The night chill, she found herself alone, and a couple of deep breaths later had managed to swallow the tears that had threatened to overwhelm her.

"Hey, Sara. What are you doing out here all alone? I've hardly seen you all night. And, damn, that's a shame because you look HOT! Red is really your colour." She spun just in time to catch Greg's salacious brow-wiggle and playful wink, and smiled in spite of herself.

"Hey, Greg. I just needed a minute. Those politicians can really suck the life out of a person, you know."

"Ah, but some more than make up for it, don't they. Did you see the Mayor's sister? Wow! And I mean, wow!"

Forcing a smile as she felt the bile rise in her throat, Sara dug her nails into her palms and replied. "Yes, I was with Grissom when she came to introduce herself."

"Year, I saw her with him. All over him, isn't she? And you just know he is loving every second of it."

With that, Sara's façade cracked and a strangled sob escaped her throat.

"Oh my God, Sara, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." Greg's concern was understandable. Sara had never been good at hiding her feelings for Grissom. As far as she knew, though, the team still thought that hers was a tragically unrequited love.

Wiping away a tear, she attempted a brave face. "No, Greg. Don't worry about it. I'm just tired, that's all. I think it's time for me to go."

"Um, okay. Let me drive you."

Sara desperately wanted to say yes, to distract herself from the evening's disastrous turn by virtue of her young friend's company, but she knew she could never explain why it was that her home was now Grissom's townhouse. Feeling a new rush of tears approaching with the thought that perhaps soon that would no longer be a problem, she hurried to reply in the hopes of getting him to head back inside.

"No, thankyou, Greg. I just need a minute to myself. I think I'll call a cab." Smiling weakly, she pulled out her phone and turned her back to him, relaxing only when she heard his footsteps disappear back inside the ballroom. Dialing, she followed the automatic prompts, pressing the ones and zeros to signal that she was not a member of a party greater than four, and was ready to be collected immediately. Finally, the electronic voice on the other end of the line asked her to say aloud her location, and then informed her that a cab was on its way. Ringing off, she closed her phone with a sigh and gathered her things, only to turn and come face to face with Grissom, the man she had spent the whole night longing to be close to, but now wanted to escape.

"You're leaving?"

"I, ah… Yeah, I'm leaving."

"You called a cab? Why?"

"Well we came here together, and well, you seemed like you were having a good time. I didn't want to drag you away."

She could no longer look him in the eye. It was all she could do to stay standing there. And then he took a step forward and reached out his hand to touch her arm.

And she flinched.

"Hey, whoa, Sara. What… What's wrong?" He didn't sound hurt, just confused.

"Sorry. I'm just a little cold." She knew her explanation made no sense, but hoped desperately that he would just accept it at face value and move on.

"Here, take my jacket." As he pulled off his jacket, she began to panic. After the events of the last few hours, she was sure that it would smell of both him and that woman, and if she was forced to drape herself in their mingling scents she would surely lose what little control she had left and collapse in tears right there in front of everyone. Jumping back violently, she wrapped her arms protectively around her middle, drawing little comfort from the soft feel of silk below her fingers.

"No, thankyou . I'm… I'm fine. Um, I should go. My cab is probably waiting." She made to leave but he stepped in front of her, blocking her only route of escape.

"Sara, honey, what's going on?"

That was not a question she wanted to answer, and desperately tried to get past him, but it was no use, and soon a tear fell silently down her cheek. Sounding completely defeated, she whispered, "Please let me go, Grissom."

The pain in her voice was tangible, and it took his breathe away. Gently cupping her face, like he had only a few hours before under much happier circumstances, he forced her to look at him. "Sara, honey, I know this evening didn't exactly turn out as you'd hoped, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

Just as she was about to give in to him completely, his phone rang and his hands dropped from her face.

"Grissom." He turned and took a step towards the railing, fast becoming flustered. "Madeleine, please-… I told you that-… Look-…"

When she heard him say that woman's name, she felt a stabbing pain in her chest like nothing she had ever felt before. Quickly, while his back was turned, she made her escape, wiping away the tears as they fell.

Half an hour later she was standing under the hot spray of their shower, the water scolding her back bright red. She had cried the entire journey back to the townhouse, and now she just felt empty, like everything had been drained away. Shutting off the water, she lightly towel-dried her hair before wrapping herself in a robe, cinching the belt tight. Opening the door, she saw him sitting there, on the end of their bed, looking at her. Just… looking at her. Eventually, when it was clear that he wasn't going to be the one to speak first, she said flatly, "You're back", before moving to step past him to gather some clean clothes. One step, two, three, and he pounced. Jumping from the bed he grabbed her arm.

"Why did you go? I would have brought you home. Why did you run away from me? I don't understand what is going on, Sara. Tell me what the hell is going on!"

She just had no fight left, and so decided to just come out and say it. After all, they say the truth requires less energy than a lie.

"She was very beautiful, wasn't she."

"What?" He was desperately trying to look her in the eye, but she just wouldn't – couldn't, maybe – lift her head from the ground.

"Madeleine Brennan, the Mayor's sister. She was very beautiful."

Suddenly his grip on her softened and he step forward to envelop her in his arms. "Sara, honey, is that all this is? You were jealous?" Pressed against his body she felt a low chuckle rumble through his chest. "I'm not interested in her, Sara."

She had not returned his embrace, and with her arms by her side she said quietly, dangerously, "Is that why you gave her your phone number? Because you're not interested?"

Shocked, he stepped back. "I didn't give her my number. I don't know where she got that from. When I looked around the room and I couldn't see you anymore, I told her that I had to go and just walked away." When she still would not meet his eyes, he continued. "You were really worried?"

No reply.

Now he was starting to get angry.

"Sara! After all this time you think I would cheat on you? Is that it? Two years, Sara, and I have never once given you reason to doubt me!"

His anger was contagious, and she was grateful for it. Anything was better than the emptiness.

"Never given me a reason, Griss? What a joke! Sure, these past two years have been… well, they have been… I was happy. Really, truly happy. And I am grateful. I am. But two good years doesn't erase the nine bad before them. I know that this is only a temporary arrangement for you, but please grant me the respect to at least not make me watch as you move on to the next one."

Her words hit him like a punch in the stomach. He knew, of course, that he had treated her poorly in the past, but be genuinely thought that they were past it. He was blindsided, and remained silent for a long time, finding his voice again only when he felt her try and pull away.

"What do you mean, 'temporary'?"

Finally she locked eyes with him, and delivered her reply, her knock-out blow, in an even and emotionless voice.

"Come on, Grissom. You turn me down for nine years and then suddenly wake up one day and change your mind? I'm not stupid. I know the only reason you are here with me right now is that you decided to settle. And I know that eventually the day will come when you realise that you can find someone better. I guess I just didn't think it would be so soon…"

Grissom felt as though someone had ripped his heart right out of his chest. He hated himself for what he had done to her. His arms dropped from around her and she pulled away, collected some clean clothes from the dresser and headed back to the bathroom to change, closing and locking the door behind her.

It was over an hour later when she finally re-emerged. Grissom was back where she had first seen him after her shower, before she had laid her cards on the table, sitting on the end of the bed, head in hands.

She walked over and began turning down the sheets. Not turning her attention from her task, she spoke. "You should have a shower and get some sleep. We have to work tomorrow."

"Sara..." And it was then that she realised he had begun to cry. Silent sobs wracked his frame as he continued to choke out words. "I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry. All those years… the way I treated you…" Standing, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms securely around her waist. "I love you, Sara. I have loved you since that day in San Francisco three weeks after we met when you spilled coffee all over my lecture slides arguing with me after class. It was wrong of me to call you out her the way I did, only to push you away when you got too close, and pull you in when you got far away, but believe me when I tell you, I had my reasons. You are so young, Sara, and so beautiful. You deserve the best of everything. I knew you deserved better than me, but I was selfish. I just couldn't seem to let you go…" When she didn't fight his embrace, he tentatively spun her in his arms until he was bale to look her in the eyes. "That day in the psychiatric hospital, I felt as thought the whole world had ground to a halt. Everything was happening in slow motion. Adam Trent holding that thing to your neck, the guard unable to open the door… I couldn't help you, I couldn't get to you, I couldn't save you. I was so scared. When I came to your apartment that day, I wasn't settling, I just didn't have the strength to deny you any longer. Sara, I… I love you more than I ever though possible. I'm in this for life. You're… well, you're stuck with me, basically."

At some point during his speech, Sara's tears had matched his own, and when she leaned forward to whisper in his ear, their slick cheeks slid against one another in a moment of pure perfection.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Sometime later, sated and content, they each fell asleep in the other's arms, secure in the knowledge that there would always be a tomorrow.

THE END