Me: Hey people! Welcome to my summer vacation! A peaceful, relaxing time...
Erik: *From next room* DIE FOP DIE!
Raoul: AAAAAHHHHH!
Christine: STOP IT BOTH OF YOU! ERIK, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT SOMEONE!
Erik: THAT'S THE IDEA!
Me: *Sigh* Until these guys showed up. How did they get here? What will they do? How will I survive? Read on, dear readers, to find out! Ahem, let us set the scene. A high school with various students trickling out. A tall, pale girl with shoulder length brown hair that has blond streaks in it walks out with a huge backpack and various school supplies in her arms and goes walking down the street.
Erik: Are you going to be this formal during the entire story?
Me: No. Shut up.
Me: *Listening to iPod and singing* Priiiiiiima Dooona, Enchant us once again! Da da da dooo, I do not knoooooow, the woooooords!
*Rumbling from the clear sky. (Most suspicious)*
Me: What the?
Random guy falling from the sky: AAAAAAHHHH!
Me: HOLY SHIT! *Random guy falls on me.* Oof!
Random guy who fell from the sky: Ow.
Me: Get off of me! *Gets up.* OH MY GOD!
Random guy who fell from the sky: What?
Me: YOU'RE THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!
Random guy who fell from the sky (who shall henceforth be known as Erik. Yeah. I said Henceforth. I'm that awesome.): Yes. Yes I am. And you are?
Me: I... I'm Megan. *Shakes Erik's hand.*
Erik: I'm the Phantom of the Opera.
Me: Oh shut up, I know you're name's Erik.
Erik: WHAT? HOW? WHO TOLD YOU?
Me: You'd be surprised how many people know your real name here.
Erik: Where exactly is here?
Me: Small town Saskatchewan, in the year 2011.
Erik: Saskatchewan?
Me: A province in Canada.
Erik: Canada?
Me: A country from the future. You're in the future.
Erik: Really? How?
Me: I don't know. Some random plot hole I'm too lazy to explain.
Erik: What?
Me: Never mind. Come on, I have to go home and get ready for a job interview.
Erik: For what?
Me: Some day camp for little kids.
Erik: Well, good for you.
*Random car pulls up.*
Me: Oh, hi mom!
Erik: WHAT IN BLAZES IS THAT THING?
Me: It's a car. It's like a horseless carriage that goes as fast as a train.
Erik: Oh.
Me: Come on, get in.
Erik: Really? Your mother won't mind?
Me: Meh. She won't care.
Erik: Okay. *Gets in. Car starts.*
Erik: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! OH GOOD GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIEEE!
Me: Shut up Erik, we're barely going slow.
Erik: THIS IS SLOW?
*One tortuous, ten second car ride later.*
Erik: Never. Again.
Me: Oh, suck it up. *Drags Erik into the kitchen.* Listen, here are the rules. *Points to fridge, microwave, and stove.* That is the fridge. We use it to keep food cold. That is the microwave. We use it to make food hot again after we put it in the fridge. That is the stove. We use it to cook food. Do not tip the fridge, ask me before you put anything in the microwave, and NO TOUCHY THE STOVE!
Erik: Okay.
Me: Okay then. I have to go to my job interview. we are driving-
Erik: NOOOOOOO!
Me: Suck. It. Up.
Erik: Fine.
Me: Let's go.
*One less torturous car ride later,*
Erik: That wasn't so bad!
Me: You were sitting in my lap the entire time.
Erik: So?
Me: Ugh. Just go sit in the corner while I have my interview.
Erik: Okay.
Interviewer: Okay, you guys, we need to talk about your schedules, that sort of thing...
Erik: I am sooooo bored.
Me: I'm ignoring you.
Erik: *Pouts*
*Thirty minutes later*
Me: Yes! I passed!
Erik: *Wakes up* Wha..?
Me: I passed. You fell asleep. Let's go.
Erik: Passed what?
Me: My young workers test thingy. Let's GO!
Erik: Alright, alright.
Me: We have to walk...
Erik: *Drops to his knees* HALLELULIA!
Me: You are weird.
Erik: You're only just getting that now?
Me: Just move it. *We step outside and walk down main street.*
Erik: This is a quaint little town.
Me: Eh, its not Paris, but its home. Ooh! Let's walk through the park!
Erik: Sounds good. So, do you go to school?
Me: I did.
Erik: Why don't you anymore?
Me: Because today was the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL BABY! WHOOOO!
Erik: Oh, please scream louder. I think that there's an eardrum in the near vicinity that you haven't ruptured yet.
Me: Ha ha. Very funny.
Erik: Hey, who is that on the hill over there?
Me: Oh my God.
Erik: What?
Me: I should have known.
*Christine is sitting on the hill. Raoul is climbing the rocks on one side.*
Christine: Raoul! Be careful!
Raoul: It's okay Christine! I won't fall! *Falls.* OWIEOUCHIEOWOWOWWWWWW!
Christine: Raoul!
Raoul: WAAAAAHHHHH!
Erik: What are they doing here?
Me: Obviously, the same reason you're here.
Erik: Which is?
Me: I have no idea.
Christine: *Looks up.* Oh h- OH MY GOD IT'S THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!
Raoul: WHAT? AAAAAAAHHHH!
Me: Good Lord! Will all of you shut up?
Erik: Yeah fop. Shut up.
Me: Ooh, you're picking up on modern lingo!
Erik: You noticed? I thought it fit.
Christine: Um... who are you?
Me: I'm Megan, and you know Erik.
Christine: He has a name?
Raoul: He has a name?
Christine: I just said that.
Me: Listen, you guys are in the future. Do you want to come stay with me until we can figure out how to send you back?
Christine: Sure!
Erik: They have a choice?
Me: Ok then! Let's go! *Car zooms by*
Christine: What was that?
Erik: A car. They're like horseless carriages. They go really fast.
Christine: Are they dangerous?
Erik: Nope! I went for a ride in one just today!
Christine: Oh Erik! You're so brave!
Erik: Well, I try.
Raoul: *Glowers* I can do brave stuff too.
Erik: Like what?
Raoul: Like this! *Climbs on to a bench and does a balancing act on the back.*
Me: You are going to fall and I am going to laugh.
Raoul: I'm not going to fall! *Falls.* WAAAAHHHH!
Me: *Killing myself laughing*
Christine: Oh, my poor baby!
Erik: Baby is right.
Me: *Recovers from laugh attack* Come on people! We've gotta move it.
Erik: Fine. Let's go Christine. You can come too fop.
Raoul: *Sniff.* Fine.
Christine: This town is so pretty! Look Raoul! Flowers! *Goes to pick flowers.*
Me: Look, but don't touch Christine. These are someone else's flowers.
Christine: *Pouts.* So where do you live?
Me: This way. Come on. *We turn a corner and see my school at the very end of the street.*
Raoul: What's that shiny thing on that building over there?
Me: That's my school. And that 'shiny thing' is our electronic sign.
Raoul: Electronic?
Erik: Future stuff.
Me: It shows the name of our school, the temperature, the time, that kind of stuff.
Christine: Cool!
Erik: Sweet! I'm not the only one using lingo!
Christine: Awesome!
Raoul: I'm lost.
Me: This is slightly amusing. Come on guys, We turn here.
Christine: But this is an alley. Alleys are dangerous!
Me: In 1870 Paris at night, not in small town Saskatchewan at four thirty in the afternoon.
Christine: Oh. Okay.
Erik: Why are we going this way?
Me: Because this alley leads right to my driveway.
Raoul: Cool! *Everyone glares at him.* What?
Erik: Don't ever say that again.
Me: Ever. *Cell phone goes off.* Oh, my mom texted me.
Erik: What's 'texted?'
Me: Sending a message using signals through space from this thing called a cell phone.
Raoul: I don't get it.
Me: Too bad. Dammit, I can barely see the screen in the sun.
Phone: Hello? Hello?
Christine: OH MY GOD IT TALKS!
Erik: I'll save you Christine!
Raoul: No, I'll save her!
Erik: No, I'll save her!
Raoul: No...
Me: Shut up, all of you! I just accidentally called my mom! *Talking on phone.* Hey mom? I accidentally called you! Yeah, the interview went good. I'm in the alley near our house. I'll see you soon. Bye.
Christine: Um, Megan? Who's that?
*We look up to see a man in a car pulling his arm behind his head.*
Me: That's my social studies teacher!
Erik: Why is he doing that?
Me: Because I mentally scarred him today with my double jointed arm.
Erik: Really?
Me: Yup. *Pulls arm behind head and holds other side of face with my hand.*
Raoul: EEEEEEWWWW!
Me: Suck it up, you big baby.
Erik: Wow. That's weird.
Christine: *Attempts trick, and fails.* That is sooooo cool!
Me: Thanks! Come on, that's my house across the street. *We all go in where we are greeted by my blond cokapoo shiztu.*
Raoul: AAAHHH! KILLER POODLE!
Me: He's not going to hurt you. And he's not a poodle! This is my dog Chevy.
Christine: Aww! He's so cute!
Me: Yeah, he is. Erik, give them the rules. I'm gonna go get my laptop.
Erik: Okay! Christine, fop, here are the rules. Do not tip the fridge, do not use the microwave without supervision, and no touchy the stove.
Raoul: Can I just-
Erik: NO TOUCHY THE STOVE!
Raoul: Fine. *Pouts.*
Christine: Erik, what's this thing? *Points to TV, which is turned on.*
Erik: I don't know.
Me: Hey guys! I'm back! What the... *Everyone is watching the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.*
Christine: London, listen to Mr. Mosby! He's right!
Me: Christine, they can't hear you.
Christine: Really? Aaawwww.
Erik: What is this thing?
Me: It's a TV.
Raoul: A what?
Me: A magical glowing picture box that tells stories.
Raoul: Oh!
Erik: What is that thing?
Me: This is my laptop! It pretty much does everything under the sun.
Erik: Does it play music?
Me: Yes.
Erik: I love it!
Raoul: Megan, what's this? *Holds up iPod.*
Me: That's my iPod! It's a music player.
Erik: Let me see! *Takes iPod and randomly presses buttons.* Where's the music?
Me: You have to put the earphones in.
Erik: Oh. *Puts in earphones.* GOOD MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, WHAT IS THAT!
Me: What? *I put earphones in. Lady Gaga's 'Judas' is playing.* It's future music. Lady Gaga.
Erik: It's despicable.
Me: Here, try this. *Changes it to 'Phantom of the Opera'.*
Erik: Ah, that's better. Wait, why do you have me singing on this thing?
Me; I'll explain tomorrow. *Collapses on couch.* Good Lord, this was an exhausting day.
Christine: I'm kind of tired too.
Raoul: I'm hungry.
Me: There are chicken fingers in the kitchen. Help yourself.
Raoul: Yay! *Runs into kitchen.*
Me: AND NO TOUCHY THE STOVE!
Raoul: Awwwwww.
Erik: Hey Megan,
Me: Yeah?
Erik: Where exactly are we sleeping?
Me: Well, Raoul and Christine can take the spare room, and...
Erik: What about me?
Me: You might have to share a room with me.
Erik: WHAT? Why can't I share with Christine?
Christine: Because I'm married. And Raoul needs someone to tuck him in.
Erik: Fop.
Me: Totally. Anyway, I only sleep on one half of the bed, so you'd have one side all to yourself.
Erik: What if I don't want that side? What if I want the other side?
Me: You're pushing your luck, Erik.
Raoul: I have chicken fingers! *Takes a bite* HOT HOT HOT!
Me: You wait for them to cool, *Smacks Raoul in the back of the head.* idiot.
Raoul: You messed up my hair!
Erik: Suck it up.
Me: Hey, that's my line.
Christine: All of you, shut up! I'm trying to watch TV!
Me: Fine.
*We'll skip the time we spent watching TV. I'll just say Erik is now slightly obsessed with America's got Talent.*
Erik: That was incredible! A whole series dedicated to finding a great talent and displaying it to the world!
*See what I mean?*
Me: Come on guys. it's time to get ready for bed. I have toothbrushes for all of you, and some pyjamas for Christine.
Erik: What about me?
Raoul: What about me?
Erik: You don't count as a person.
Raoul: Meanie.
Me: You two don't get any because there aren't any pyjamas for guys in the house.
Christine: Don't you have a father?
Me: Yes, but he doesn't wear pyjamas. Most men of the future don't.
Erik: Any brothers?
Me: No. Just one sister. You'll probably meet her later, but I think she's at a ball windup.
Christine: She went to a ball? Lucky!
Me: No, it's a party for a sport she plays.
Christine: Oh.
Me: Come on people, lets move it!
*In the bathroom.*
Christine: I want the pink toothbrush!
Raoul: No fair! That's the one I wanted!
Erik: Move it pretty boy, I can't reach the sink.
Christine: Megan, tell Erik to stop shoving me.
Me: Okay people, back away from the retainer.
Erik: Who got toothpaste on my cape? I don't care, you're gonna die Raoul! *Pulls the fops hair.*
Raoul: OW!
Me: ALL OF YOU! ONE AT A TIME! AND CHRISTINE, STAY AWAY FROM THE PROACTIVE!
Christine: Sorry. Geez.
*One horrible hellhole of an hour later.*
Me: Were you all raised in barn?
Erik: I was raised in a gypsy camp.
Me: Never mind. At least it's over.
Christine: I wanna go to sleep.
Me: The guest room and the pyjamas are right through this door. *Christine goes through the door and Raoul follows.* And no funny business you two!
Erik: Where's your room?
Me: In the basement.
Erik: My type of place.
*We go downstairs into my room, which has alternating blue and green walls, blue and green striped blankets, a wooden dresser, bedside table, and a full length mirror. there are two candles on the dresser, and the room is covered in clothes.*
Erik: Your room is messy.
Me: Tell me about it. Now go away so I can change.
Erik: Okay. *A few minutes I come out in pink pants and a yellow shirt that says 'The Pied Piper' on it.* Why do you have a Pied Piper shirt?
Me: Because it's from a play I did a few years ago. I kept all the shirts.
Erik: All?
Me: It was put on by a traveling drama company that came about once a year. I still have a shirt from my frog prince production in kindergarten, and it still fits.
Erik: Wow. Big shirt.
Me: Yeah. So you can make yourself at home, read a book or something, while I do something on my laptop.
Erik: What are you doing?
Me: I think I have an idea. *Evil grins.*
Me: And that's how I came to be writing this story.
Raoul: You called me a fop way too many times.
Me and Erik: Suck it up.
Christine: Review please!
Erik: Or else.
Me: Erik! Don't threaten the readers!
Erik: Fine.