Have you ever been in love with someone who you know that you can never be with? Well that is the situation that I'm in right now. I'm in love with my best friend Phil. I know that we can never be because he would never love someone like me. Everyday we spend time together in our flat amazes me. Normally someone as amazing as Phil, would never like to be friends with someone like me. However, we are friends so we aren't normal. My thoughts are constantly filled with images of him and everything that is Phil Lester.
I looked at the clock which read 10 am. "Phil has to be up getting some breakfast," I thought as I got up out of my comfy and warm bed. From the kitchen, came the delicious smell of pancakes cooking. As I moved closer to the kitchen, the sound of Phil singing along to his music came to my ears. Mornings like this are the best. I get to watch Phil sing and make us some pancakes.
Trying and failing to watch quietly from the doorway, I couldn't help but chuckle and smile at Phil's adorableness as he danced while filling the pan with more pancake batter. He turned around to look at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his and a small blush upon his cheeks.
"Dan, I thought you were still asleep. You startled me," Phil exclaimed in a bit of a pouty tone. All I could do was stare at the beautiful sight before me. Phil's ocean blue eyes and albino face were complemented by a rose red blush on his cheeks. That blush made me really happy, because something I did lead to the blush appearing on his perfect face.
Phil looked at me with a puzzled look and asked, "Are you okay?" He stepped closer to me and put his hand against my forehead. "You don't feel warm," Phil stated with a concerned look on his face.
"I'm fine..I..I just got caught up in my thoughts," I stuttered as I found the words to tell him. Averting my eyes and walking towards the pancake cooking in the pan, I picked up the spatula and flipped the pancake. My flipping talent is very poor unlike Phil's so I have to use a spatula.
Suddenly, I could feel hands wrap around my waist. A head moved close to my ear and whispered, "Your thoughts were about me, weren't they?" Phil's gentle whispers sent shivers down my spine. "Again with this teasing," I thought annoyed. I'm pretty sure that Phil has found out that I like him, and decided that it would be fun to tease me.
With a blush on my face and my eyes looking down holding back tears, I said to Phil, "Can you please stop doing stuff like this? I understand that it's fun to tease people, but this… really hurts. I would rather you hate me than just play with my feelings." After prying off Phil's arms, I ran to my room with tears rolling down my cheeks.
I locked the door and crawled under the covers. My sobs more audible than the other times I've cried. My thoughts became darker and darker as the tears rolled down. A gentle knock at the door snapped me out of my thoughts and brought me back to the ever so harsh world that reality is. Phil's soft and slightly shaky voice came from behind the door.
"Dan, can you please let me in? We need to talk," Phil said in an almost pleading voice. After wiping off the tears that had rolled down my cheeks. I slowly got out of my bed and headed towards the door. My heart pounded more and more as I took each step closer to the door and to Phil.
"What if he hates me now?" I thought as I felt the cool metal of the door handle in my hand, "I don't think that I could handle that." Thump...thump thump...thump. The sound of my beating heart sounded like it was going to pop right out of my chest. A knot in my throat made me feel like I couldn't talk or take in air. The gentle knock came again and reminded me that I have to open the door. I have to hear what Phil has to a deep breath, I turned the handle and opened the door. Too afraid to see the expression upon his face, I looked at the floor to avert looking at his face.
Phil sighed and moved my chin, forcing me to face him. A face filled with sincerity and concern met my tear stained face. The look in Phil's eyes made all the pain just melt away. With his lips slightly parted, Phil moved closer and closer to me until our lips met. It felt so perfect and natural, like our lips were a lock and key. My head was spinning, trying to tell me that this isn't real, while my heart seemed to stand still enjoying the moment. Our lips seemed to stay together longer than just the little moment that it actually was. We stopped for a second looking into each other's eyes. His ocean blue to my chocolate brown.
Three soft words danced across his lips as he whispered to me, "I love you." My vision became blurry as the tears came to my eyes again. However, this time they are tears of joy not the tears of a saddened heart. Phil kissed away the tears that were rolling down my cheeks, and then he kissed me on my lips again. His tongue traced my lips begging for permission to enter and explore my mouth.
That permission was easily gained, because how could I refuse him. Slowly I parted my lips and allowed Phil to explore my mouth. His tongue on top of mine and mine underneath his, feeling the soft skin on the bottom of his tongue. A dance began between our tongues. We didn't stop the dance until we were almost completely out of breath. While trying to catch my breath, I confessed my feelings to him, "I love you Phil." He smiled and hugged me tightly. I couldn't tell whose heart was beating faster, his or mine. Two hearts are beating faster than normal just because the other is near.
After a long and loving embrace, we went to eat our pancakes. The best pancakes in the world are not Delia Smith's, but Phil Lester's. Pancakes made by my boyfriend are better than any other pancakes.