DI Jack Robinson approached the evidence with a cautious tread. He was used to examining these items very closely. It was his job. This piece of evidence, however, was not of the usual sort. A rather complicated contraption as far as he could see. He reluctantly cast his mind back to the raid on that Chinese brothel and fuzzily remembered something of a similar nature lying on one of the beds. He hadn't known what it was then and he was almost none the wiser for knowing how they worked now. He ran his gloved fingers carefully over the ridges of the, uh, instrument. He wasn't sure what to call it but it looked quite intimidating.
He froze as a rustle behind him alerted him to the possibility of an awkward situation. Either someone was going to have to ask him to explain it or try and show him how it worked. He was ready for neither event. He was a liberal enough minded man but right now was not the time or place for explanation about it.
A soft chuckle shredded through his unease and melted it somewhat, he knew the owner of that voice. He turned his head to lock eyes with one of his best allies knowing that his exasperation would amuse her. So it did.
'Don't worry, I won't need an explanation on how it works' she said, reading his mind.
'I'm sure you don't.' Doctor Mac was very knowledgeable about all sorts of things, some which would never had entered his mind. They stayed leaning on their arms and looked at the monstrous thing again.
'How was this even invented?' he wondered aloud.
'Well doctors used to think that women had hysteria and wandering wombs and that was bad for the constitution. So they prescribed…manual services to women.'
'Since when?'
'Since ancient times.'
Jack was astounded that this was a medical practice since the ancient times. Rosie had enjoyed the motion of his hand quite a few times in their marriage, once they had accidently realised that it was something rather exciting for both of them. Did that make him a doctor too?
'Now of course doctors are too lazy to do it themselves so they've invented a machine that will do it for them.' She gestured to the obscene lady helper on the table.
Jack cursed himself for his curiosity.
'So why don't you tell me about the visit to this Chinese brothel?'
'It was a raid, not a visit of a personal nature, doctor' he corrected her tersely. She sniggered. She had no doubt that he was an honourable man and not exactly naive to the ways of the world being in the police force but she thought there were quite a few things of a sexual nature he could learn in the meantime. No doubt his ex-wife had been pretty conservative although Mac was more than willing to be surprised and enlightened if it turned out not to be the case. A night with Phryne and her personal massager and he would emerge a new man.
'Is this kind of contraption medically sanctioned for individuals to use at home?'
She rolled her eyes at his formal use of words.
'Yes, it's been easily purchasable for around 15 years. For personal use, it's very much smaller than these old-fashioned things.'
Jack couldn't imagine Rosie having one.
'Most women buy it and tell their husbands it's to relieve headaches and neck tension. It's quite popular in America.'
Jack was sure he'd be fooled by that excuse, along with most husbands.
'And does it?'
'Oh yes. It's useful for a few things.'
'And what if they don't have a husband?' His direct gaze made it quite clear to Mac what his indirect question was. She smiled mischievously, confirming what he thought. A certain someone did own one of these personal massagers. Both of them in fact. He had never applied himself to the task of imagining what women actually do in bed with each other and he didn't think that this was a conversation that was appropriate right now. Or ever, really. Mac wasn't stupid. She knew the signs when a person, particularly a man, was curious as to the Sapphic way of things. The Inspector was an intelligent man, he could figure it out.
Mind you, they were still in the shadow of the Victorian times. Apparently, Mac and her type never recognisably existed back then. She considered herself very fortunate at that.
'Well you can ask someone how it works. They might be so kind as to show you.' She shrugged and left it at that. Jack was irrationally annoyed by her smirk. She was the expert at applying herself to the study of female anatomy after all. She could teach every man a thing or two.