Author: lollie-girl
Title: The longing for death
Pairing: The Doctor, mention of Donna, Davros, ood sigma, Amy and Rory.
Rating: R
Summary: The Doctor only wants one gift this Christmas and it's the only thing in the entire universe he can't have.
[Written for a comment-fic prompt on lj]
Spoilers/Warnings: Thoughts of suicide and mention of death.
Disclaimer: not mine
-x-
The Doctor sits in the TARDIS as she quietly hums to the weeping melancholy of the time lord. He teleports back in time in his mind to a place much different than this one, the last centurion on his mind and the beautiful Miss Amy pond, the girl who waited and waited for the raggedy doctor to return. He regrets like he always does the way death followed his faithful companions who insisted on staying with him by his side.
Many a formidable foe had spoken the words he dared not dwell on too much.
"The Doctor, the man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself."
Davros words echo through his mind now, perhaps it was true, the reason he never looked back, never took a moment to think of the ones long gone and far away.
He wonders if he could do just that, think of all the ones lost over the years, he thinks that maybe that was the true key to his end, what no enemy of his had ever achieved.
Standing up he opens the door to the blue box as he steps outside, Christmas in the air as heavy snow falls on him.
Tradition was one of the many things he'd admired the most from humanity, he'd always liked Christmas, even if he never wanted to take part he especially liked the snow, it reminded him of the oods, the land of white snow where throughout the year it was a permanent wave of white flakes, it wasn't actually snow but close enough.
Meeting ood sigma when he'd visited with Donna allowed him to understand something he'd never truly allowed himself to believe for the sake of human kind surviving.
"Oh, I've... sort of got a song of my own, thanks."
"I think your song must end soon."
"Meaning?"
"Every song must end."
All he wanted this Christmas was his song to end, the one thing in the entire universe he couldn't have. He wanted more than anything to join his companions in death, to join Amy and Rory.
-fin-