Peeta. Gale. Peeta. Gale.
I'm forced to think between the two of them. Peeta's sweet, loving nature. Gale's fighting nature that burns bright.
They have both become the most important people in my life since Prim's death. But, I cannot think of them as I have before.
Peeta has always loved me. He saved my life once, twice, three times. Throughout the Games, he's always been there for me. He's sweet and kind; the person I would run to for some comforting. His delicate voice, his artistic personality, and his compassionate nature. It's all too much for me to say no. He'll be broken, and his heart will be shattered to pieces. But that was the old Peeta.
Gale was and still is my best friend. But I wish it could be so much more. The day he confessed of his love to me, is the day I saw how much I loved him to. I had realized that I couldn't live without him, that I had to have him watching my back as I watched his. His strong and proud spirit sets me free of the world. Free of my worries and my fears. He'll always be the one who understands me the best. But that was before all of this happened.
This new Peeta still has the kind and caring nature. But he's not blindly loving me anymore. The Capitol has made Peeta see the real me. The killing, unforgiving, rude, and monstrous Katniss.
I left Gale brokenhearted when I volunteered. Gale had watched the star-crossed lovers in the Games and it broke his heart. I'll never be able to forgive myself for that. This new Gale is powered by rage and hatred. To make it worse, I show myself in front of him, my presence reminding him of his broken heart. Little did he know that his ignorance to me broke my heart too.
They both had healed of the Capitol's causes, but they are both scarred. They have so much in common, but they're so different.
When I watch the Districts rebuild themselves or when I take a lonely hike in the woods, is when I realize that Gale has something I can never let go of. Our everlasting friendship. You can't throw away a good friendship that's lasted for years. Years that had been difficult, dealing with surviving of hunger and feeding our families. You can't turn your back on the one who's always had your back.
Peeta is too good for me. I turn away from those caring arms and into my best friend's. Into a protecting force of fierceness and love.