Sonic: Lots of Madness!!!

Author's Note:

I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog, SEGA does, so with you don't like the character: first, WTF are you doing here then? Second, WHAT?! You don't like him?! And third, complain with SEGA, not me, or go do terapy. Have a nice day!

Author's Note II:

If you don't like those fanfics were Sonic has a house and his friends move to his house, GO FIND ANOTHER FANFIC! (in big letters so no one can complain that they didn't saw it.)

CHAPTER#1: Mi casa, su casa.

It's 14:00. Sonic is sleeping (that lazy bastard!) when a knock in the door wakes him up.

"Huh? yawn Who the fuck can it be?" He says as he walks to the door to open it.

Stopped on front of the door is a salesman, actually, a salesdog.

"Hello, my good sir. Would you like some panflets from the new CD shop that opened in the city?"

"Why would I want to buy it and why the crap are you even selling it?"

"Well, you see, selling is almost the same as giving them around by random people, but if I sell them, I will at least earn some money, ya know?"

"Oh, what?! Ah, go to hell, bitch!"

"Well, since I'm male, I am actually a dog, but..." BLAM! Sonic closes the door on the salesdog's face.

"Oh, bother." Thinks the dog. "Guess I will need to it cockroach soup at dinner again. Hmpf, babe will be so on my neck when I get back home with no greens. Well..."

Inside the house, Sonic sits on the couch and thinks. "Meh, since there's nothing to do I think I'm gonna watch TV."

Then, watching TV, he starts thinking.

"Man, why Tails didn't waked me up? Wait a sec... Tails didn't came back home since yesterday by 18:00! There's something odd... Ooo! South Park!"

After some minutes, the phone starts to ring.

"Damm! Who is the asshole that calls me when I'm watching South Park?! Hello?"

"Uhn, hi, Sonic, is Shadow."

"Hm, Shadow. What the tuck do you want?"

"Uh, well, you see, I'm having problems with my Chaos Blast and..."

"Does it smells?" Says Sonic, with second intentions.

"Er, no, it... Hey! It's not that kinda Chaos Blast! It's the one that uses Chaos Emeralds!!!"

"Oh, heh, heh! Heh, alright then, huh..."

"Argh! So, anyway, I ended up blasting my house and I was thinking if I..."

Right then, Sonic looks to television.

"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!"

"YOU BASTARDS!"

Sonic starts laughing his ass off.

"Uhn, Sonic? Are you alright? Man, why are you laughing like that?"

"Oh, hoh, hoh, hoh!!! Its, hah,haha!!! It's South Park, man! Hah, hah, hah,hah!!"

"WHAT?! South Park is on?! Man, I've gotta see this! Oh, damm, I've forgotten that I've exploded my televison."

"Oh, well. What was you saying 'bout house exploding and thinking?"

"Oh, yeah, I was thinking if I couldn't live there 'til the reform of my house is finished."

"Hmm, well, I don't see why not. Yeah, you can co... SWEET MOTHER OF TESTICLES!!!! HAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! WTF, MAN!!!! THAT CARTMAN IS SO FUNNY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Uhn, well, alright them. I'll be there soon. Bye."

"HAHAHAH!!!! Bye! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Sonic's belly do a high noise, he stops and thinks.

"I need food fo'living, mah man!"

He walks to the kitchen and pulls out an chocolate ice cream box from the freezer, takes the milk from the refrigerator and get some sprinkles in the cupboard, put them all on the table and grab a cup.

"Hm, here." He puts two balls of ice cream in the cup. "And here." He puts milk over them. "Aaaand... here." He puts sprinkles on them as the final touch. He spins the chocolate ice cream balls with a spoon 'til them melt so it turns into a milkshake.

"Yep. Done."

Another knock in the door.

"Well, its maybe Tails or Shadow. If it is another salesman, rrrgh, I'll kill him!"

Sonic opens the door.

"Uhn, Hi, Sonic."

"Eh, hi, Shadow."

"Oooo, cool milkshake! Gimme that, or make one for me!"

"Why should I?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE A FRIGGIN' GUN!!!!! AND I'LL MAKE YOU SEE IT' S EASY TO THINK WITH A BULLET IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR BRAINS!!!!"

"Shadow, I just have one brain..."

"WHATEVER!!!!"

"Phew, I didn't think that you were in that time of the month... heh, heh!!"

"I'M GONNA FREAKING KILL YA, BLUE BITCH!!!!"

DING-DONG!

"Alright, I'm going!"

Sonic opens the door and standing there is the mailman.

"Hi, um, Sonic teh Hedgehog?"

"In flesh and spines."

"Here, this package is for you."

"Wow, thanks."

"It was not from me, you know? I'm just delivering it."

"Oh."

"So bye."

"Psst, whateva!"

BLAM! Sonic closes the door.

"What do you got there?" Shadow asks.

"Oh, it's my Playboys. I have a signature."

"OH REALLY?!"

"Yeah."

"I WANNA FREAKING SEE IT!"

"Hey, calm down man! Me first."

Shadow pulls a gun out of nowhere.

"DAMM IT! I didn't thought you actually had a gun with you!"

"Psst. Now gimme the Playboys nice and calm."

"Dammit!"

"Wow, check out this blondie in the cover!!!" Shadow then closes his eyes and sighs. "Maria..."

"Damm it, Shadow, why are you so freaking emo?"

"I still have that gun in my hand!"

"Whoops! Sorry!"

"Don't worry. I won't shoot you. I don't want to go to jail again." And then he says in a low voice. "Those damm niggas, my ass still hurts."

Sonic looks at him with big eyes and scoops away.

"What?" Asks Shadow.

Hahahahaha!!! It's kinda funny! I don't have nothing to do against black people (or niggas, as Shadow says), but is that theres this thing that says that they have big... weapons (I don't know if they say things like that in USA, but here in Brazil...) and me and my friend joked that Maria got traumatizated because Shadow has a big weapon. So I thought:"What if I make Shadow a victim of the big weapons?" That's how the idea came.

Anyway, next chapter will have the return of Tails, and the appearance of Rouge!!! º.º

And she's going to take a bath!!!! Damm it, why words are not pictures...

Bye for now!