Mist of darkness
As he watched him leave Remus sighed, running a hand over his face and through his hair. Harry was safely back with his aunt and uncle. It pained Remus to see him go but he knew deep down that it was for the best. He was certainly in no state to help a grieving boy, especially since he himself was struggling in vain to cope with the gaping hole left by the last of his friends. He let out another deep sigh and turned to head back to headquarters, only to walk straight into Nymphadora Tonks. She was looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face and her once cheery complexion seemed troubled. To her left stood Alastor Moody looking as sullen as always and on her left was Arthur Weasley.
"We're heading back to Grimmauld, are you coming?" said the auror. She looked at him as though waiting in anticipation for his answer. He raised his eyes to hers for a split second, before stepping around her and walking off. Her gaze followed him as he strode away from her into the crowd of muggles and wizards alike at Kings Cross Station , and the unreadable expression on her face quickly turned to one of confusion, sadness and regret.
All of a sudden Remus didn't feel like returning to Grimmauld Place where everyone would undoubtedly be waiting to hear about the encounter with Mr Dursley and try to hide their sympathy for him by making trivial conversation about the appropriate name for a group of Grindylow. So instead he walked. He didn't really know where it was he was going but it felt good, well perhaps not good but it certainly made him feel a lot better than he had felt since that fateful night at the Department of Mysteries.It was almost dark by the time he finally returned to Order Headquarters and he opened the door quietly, hoping to slip upstairs before anyone realised he was there. But as luck would have it, it seemed that the rest of the Order were already fully aware of his absence and awaiting his return. As he stepped over the threshold he heard Moody's gruff voice say something he couldn't quite make out. There was a quick shuffle of feet and before he had the chance to gather his thoughts he found himself standing before a very angry looking Molly Weasley and an equally frightening Nymphadora Tonks. Her hair was a bright shade of red and her eyes too had a hint of red, giving her a demonic appearance.
"And where have you been?" said Mrs Weasley "We were worried sick"
"I was walking" replied Remus in a calm and detached manner that he had mastered in his Marauder days at Hogwarts. He made to step onto the first stair to make his way to his room when Tonks made a move towards him grabbing his arm and blocking his path.
"Walking?" Her voice was quiet but Remus could hear the fury behind it. "Do you have any idea how worried we were? We thought you'd been caught or"
"Yeah well I wasn't " cut in Remus indignantly before she had the opportunity to finish "and I'm fine so you can all get back to whatever it was you were doing"
"What we were doing? We were worrying about you, you prat!"
"Well there was no need and like I said I'm fine" Once again he made to go upstairs and once again Nymphadora blocked his way. She reached out to him gently touching his face.
"No you're not" Her voice was once again quiet but this time her voice was soft drawing Remus' gaze. Their eyes met and they simply stared at one another. Slowly her hair paled to a bright pink and her eyes turned to a pale blue. Molly took this as her queue to leave and Tonks gently reached her other hand out to clasp his. As he felt her touch he quivered slightly, not knowing what to do. She looked deeply into his eyes and he tried to look away but she firmly put both hands on either side of his face and turned his head back to face her. "No you're not". She repeated the words and once again Remus found himself struggling to find the words to contradict her. He knew full well that he was not fine and he also knew that he cared to deeply for Tonks to lie to her. Using his silence to her advantage she carried on. "You're not fine. Your quiet - quieter than usual. You've said barely a word to anyone since it happened. You just lock yourself away in your room.You're not fine".
Still he just stood there, unsure of what to say and unable to say what he truly felt. Since he had watched his best friend fall through the veil he had felt empty and numb. It was as though he was walking though a mist and he was surrounded by a darkness that chilled him to the bone. Worst of all he felt alone. More alone than he had felt since he was a boy and more alone than he felt after Lily and James had died. Over the past two years he had regained his friend, his brother. He had finally learned the truth about what had happened on that cold Halloween night and best of all he had something to live for once again, something to hope for and something to fight for. But now, now he was truly alone.
As though reading his thoughts once again Tonks began to speak.
"It's gonna be ok. I know I cant even begin to understand what your feeling right now but you're not on your own. You've got me. You'll always have me." Tears glistened in her eyes as she pulled him towards her, resting her head in the crook of his neck. Instantly he tensed and feeling this Tonks pulled him closer still, clinging on to him tightly. He could feel her wet tears as they dropped onto his skin and without realising it a tear streamed its way down his cheek too. Finally relaxing, Remus raised his arms to her, resting one on the small of her back and one on the nape of her neck. For the first time in days he could see a shimmer of light in the dark mist that surrounded him and for the first time in days he felt as though maybe, just maybe he had someone after all.