0.2 Miles High
PG
Summary - The Death Eaters have taken Ginny Weasly as thier hostage in attempt to lure Harry to them as bait. Will Harry fall blindly for this trap in order to save his loved one? Will Ginny survive her deadly ordeal at the grasp of the malicious Dark Lord and the suave Draco Malfoy? Read on!
A/N - I really wouldn't read if you are a die-hard Ginny or Harry fan. Or Voldemort Fan. Everyone dies in the end. This takes place somewhere in winter after the sixth book, assuming that Harry does not go back to Hogwarts. Though it doesn't really matter if he did or if he didn't, this story is so nonsensicle anyway.
Please don't take it seriously. I know there are a lot of misconceptions in it, so to speak, and it was all crafted that way on purpose.
This is a Spoof, yes, and potentially nothing more.
Disclaimer - JK Rowling. Yep, just that.
Characters -
Main: Harry Potter, Ginny Weasly, Lord Voldemort.
Secondry: Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Hermione, Severus Snape.
Mentioned: Lucius Malfoy, Walden Macnair, The Weasleys, Seamus Finnigan, Neville Longbottom.
Chapter One.
Harry woke up in the morning, because it was morning, and people do tend to wake up in mornings. Unless they are nocturnal, then they tend to wake up somewhere around the afternoon, and stay up all night doing hardly-mentionable and very dark, gothic things. Like write depressing poetry.
In any case, because Harry is not gothic, even though he has dark hair and sometimes does hardly mentionable things which will consequently not be mentioned in this story, he got up, clad in nothing but his pyjamas. Well, okay, he was wearing underwear as well. white bikini-cut trunks, as a matter of fact.
Anyway, the unexpected events of yesterday was still fresh on his mind. It was like he was walking in a dream, but he knew that he wasn't because he had just gotten out of bed. Nevertheless his pinched himself just incase. It hurt.
Okay, this was definatley not a dream.
Looking in the mirror, he
saw that his hair was ruffled and there were bags under his eyes.
Ginny.
That was the only word that could come to his head, apart from "cheese" which is the name of a particular type of food for which Harry had a craving.
Ginny had been with him, all week. They had been staying at the Weasley house, and she had hardly left his side, except when she departed to the kitchen to make him some more cheese sandwiches.
But then it happened of a sudden. The Weasley household had woken up yesterday (they did tend to wake up nearly every morning), and Ginny was gone. Her bed had not been slept in, and none of her belongings had been taken. she had just... vanished. They had searched all the nearby brothels, but to their utter astonishment, they saw naught of her. They searched under Seamus Finnigan's bed, but the irish lad swore that he had never placed her underneath his bed. They searched in Neville Longbottom's wardrobe, but all they found was a featherduster and some moth-bitten dresses.
They had searched all day, but she was well and truly missing. Hahaaha. What annoyed Harry the most was that nobody seemed to care about this as much as he did. Sure, the Weasleys has sent several aurors after her, but thier hopes were not high, for everyone suspected that it had been "You-know-who" who had taken her.
So, Harry decided to do the manly heroic thing and go searching for her himself.
Chapter 2.
Ginny looked up at the face which was much, much uglier than her own (except for when she wasn't wearing make-up of course). It was long and pointy, and had a flat nose and red slits for eyes. It spoke in a sharp whisper, almost like the hiss of a snake.
'L--lord V-v-v-v-...' Ginny gasped.
The creature laughed and flung off it's hood to reveal a bald, rather shiny head. 'Yesss, it is one in the sssame.' He answered jovially.
He seemed to be in a rather joyuous mood, in fact, his face was stretched into a tight, grotesque, lopsided smile and he was holding a giant cookie in his left hand, iced with the face of a yellow happy... thing.
Ginny made to rub her eyes but found that her hands were bound behind her back, as were her feet tied together. She looked around to find herself in an unfamilar room, red carpeted with rich velvet curtains and a blazing fire-place. It all flooded back to her, the memories of the night before.
She had "kissed" Harry goodnight, and went to her bedroom. She had been in the middle of putting on her pyjamas when she felt the sharp crack on the back of her head, and knew no more. But now she knew that she had been somehow spirited away in the middle of the night, despite the fact that the Weasley's house was heavily watched.
'You.. you! Why did you kidnap me! Send me back!' She cried, twisting and turning helplessly in her bounded ropes.
The Dark Lord cackled again and straightened himself. 'I have brought you here as a lure, Jenny... Jenny Westley. Draco here has told me (and here he motioned to one of the masked figures behind him), that Harry has a soft spot for pretty girls, and especially you. So, we decided to kidnap you, knowing that it would bring Harry here. Then we will kill you both, and I will be temporarily satisfied.'
Ginny made to call him an assortment of nasty names, but the Dark Lord pointed his wand at her and instantly she felt the twining growth of vines around her mouth, closing up her means of talking.
'Now', The Dark Lord turned to several of the Death Eaters who were standing behind them, one of them who Ginny knew to be Draco. 'You, stay and watch her. I have more important things to tend to.' And with a crack, he dissapeared.
The four Death Eaters slowly walked towards her. 'Should we put her on the sofa or something?' one of them said nervously, a voice who Ginny knew to be Crabbe's. Another nodded. 'It must be uncomfortable on the floor.' That sounded like Goyle's voice.
'You twits! do you think we are here to make her comfortable!' Another shreiked, most definatly a female. It could only have been Pansy Parkinson. She moved foward and gave Ginny a good kick in the side. Ginny let out a cry, which was muffled by the vines tied around her face.
Draco laughed and lifted his wand, hurling Ginny into the air and flinging her across the other side of the room, where Ginny hit the wall and flopped ungracefully to the ground like a rejected doll. She felt pain shooting all over her body, and her head was dazed from where she hit it.
The four Death Eaters walked closer to her and looked down at her.
'I think she will be quite comfortable there.' Draco said, and Pansy let out a maddening shreik of laughter which ended in a hiccough.
'Oh go and get a glass of water.' Draco answered her impatiently.
Chapter 3.
It was just after twilight, the Weasleys had all retired to bed. Harry mounted his broomstick, his belongings packed into his bag: Some baked beans. Some cheese. His wand. A photo of Ginny. A small, tattered tea-towel, which he just felt like stuffing in there for some reason.
He was about to kick off when a voice met his ears that caused him to stop.
'Harry! Harry-- where are you going?' It was Hermione. She ran to him with a dissaproving look on her face.
'Why aren't you sleeping, Hermione?' Harry asked feebly.
'I couldn't sleep- I was reading when I saw you out here- for heavans sake, what are you doing?'
'I'm going to find Ginny!' Harry protested, sticking out his bottom lip.
'You can't leave, Harry, you need to be watched by Aurors, it's too dangerous to go out there by yourself!' Hermione was wringing her hands nervously.
'I can and I will!' Harry answered heatedly. 'I'm strong enough to fight any old Death Eater! I will kill them all! Voldemort included! Then, I will bring Ginny back here.' Hermione scoffed. 'You say you will fight them, but come on, Harry, remember what happened with you and Snape last year? You couldn't get a spell in edge-ways. Harry-- arry, come back here!'
But it was too late, Harry had flung on his invisibility cloak and was off.
Harry was flying over fields, feeling more free than he had in ages. No one watching him, no one was looking after his safety- he could go wherever he wanted to go. it was blissful. But where could he search for Ginny? She could be anywhere. She could even be dead. Harry quickly pushed that out of his mind. he was sure, that Death Eaters had her. H was sure that Lord Voldemort had taken her, probably to lure Harry in. But Harry didn't care, he would willingly be lured in if it meant that he could prevent any harm to his girlfriend.
It was settled then. He would go to Spinner's End -- Snape was a bastard, and Ginny must be there.
Chapter 4.
Ginny woke up after a fitful sleep to find herself still bound and gagged. There on the couch were the four Death Eaters who were supposed to be looking after her. They were sitting around, gossiping, drinking elfwine and smoking.
She writhed in her own uncomfortability. Drat, she was still bound, ever so tightly, and double drat, she hadn't her wand on her. She was rendered useless.
She paused to take a good look at the Death Eaters, they were not in thier masks. She was right about all of them -- there was Draco, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle, living it up while she had been thrown in the corner like a ragdoll.
Pansy looked up and caught Ginny's eye. 'She's gone and woken up again!' The girl whined, stomping her foot and pointing her wand at Ginny. 'I like her much better when she's unconcious! Rheado--'
'Wait, Pansy!' Draco struck out his hand and stopped Pansy in mid-spell.'How can she possibly feel pain when she is unconcious?' With a devilish smirk on his face, he raised his own wand at Ginny.
Chapter 5.
Harry flew through the darkness. Stars were twinkling in the sky, guiding his way. He could just... sing. Over cities and towns and countrysides he flew, ever to his destination.
But is was over one of these country-sides that he suddenly stopped. His scar tingled. He knew that this was a sure sign that Lord Voldemort had been here recently. Swooping lower, he circled a small village. There only seemed to be a few houses there... one of them prominently situated on a hill, a grand, black manor. Lower still, he flew.
A bone-shaking scream pierced through his ears and into his head, momentarily liquidating his brain matter and knocking off a couple hundred brain cells. Harry knew that he had heard that scream before, it was soooooooooo like, familiar... He flew lower until he landed softly on the balcony of the large manor.
If he had taken the front entrance, where stood two high gates guarded by stone dragons, he not only would have read the sign that hung over the gate and read 'Malfoy Manor', but he probably would have been caught.
As it were, on the balcony, the french doors in front of him were tightly closed. yet beyond him, yesh, there was definatly the sound of someone screaming, as if they were being brutally tortured but some brutes who were brutal in thier ways of torture. nods yep, Harry was sure. :)
Unfourtunatly though, the door was shut tight. Probably, Harry deduced, because it was cold outside. Absolutley rivted with his intelligent deduction, Harry draw his wand from his bag and held it aloft.
'Alohamora!' he yelled in his head (he was now rather good at non-verbal spells).
The doors blew apart, and the curtains parted. There, in front of him, To Harry's utter surprise, stood four cloaked figures with thier wands aloft, and in front of them, writhing in pain, was Ginny. The tallest Death Eater, obviously the leader, stood closer to her. Harry could only see the back of his head, with the long, lustruous locks of silvery-blonde hair, but instantly knew who it was.
Chapter 6.
Fourtunatley, Draco seemed so intent on torturing Ginny with his recently mastered Crucio spell that he did not notice the appearece of Harry.
'Expelliarmis' Harry said.
The wand flew out of Draco's hand and landed in the corner of the room. Draco spun around, his pale pointy face in a temporary expression of shock. Then he quickly regained his composure and a smirk spread across his face.
'Ahh, Potter my dear. You have come earlier than expected. Indeed, the Dark Lord did not expect you until, oh, tomorrow. Bet never mind. I am sure that the Malfoy Manor has many closets that will accomodate to your needs. No doubt, you knew this was a lure?'
Potter stepped forwards, his black messy hair waving, sexliy, he thought, in the winter breeze.
'Yes, of course I knew it was a lure.'
'And yet you came? Tut tut, Potter.'
'Voldemort will pay!' Harry scowled, holding his wand high.
The four Death Eaters cowered at the useage name of Voldemort and clutched the stinging Dark Marks on thier wrists.
'Ha!' Harry said. 'Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort poopey bums."
'Arrrgh!' The Death Eaters screamed.
Pansy stood forward bravely. 'Shut up, Potter, or I will mutilate you to heck!' She shrieked.
'Ha! Haa Haa...' Harry said. 'I am a better and more talented wizard than all of you put together! It is you who should be scared! Now give Ginny back, or I will harm you all!'
A second of silence passed between them, and Harry was satisfied at the vaguely surprised expression on Draco's face. But the blonde boy didn't pause for long. Snatching Goy's wand off him, he pointed it at Harry and yelled 'Crucio!'
It was more pain then Harry could bear. In other words, it hurt. Quite a bit. As Harry writhed unromantically on the floor, Pansy walked over and picked up his wand. When Harry came too, he found that he was bound hand and foot, and that there were four Death Eaters standing over him, all holding thier wands, cackling.
Draco had both his and Harry's wand in each of his hands, pointing them at Harry as if they were knives, when in fact, logically, they were just a couple of pointy sticks.
'I must admit that I have always wanted to torture a wizard with thier own wand.' Draco said with relish. 'But I think I should rather break it into a million pieces instead.'
Dropping it onto the floor, in a flurry of excitement, Draco stomped on the wand, a manic expression on his face, until it was broken to splinters. When he gathered himself and straightened his clothes and smoothed back his hair and applied more 'acrid ivory' foundation, he spoke to his friends.
'Goyle, open the wardobe, and Crabbe, gag Harry up and fling him into it. Upside down, please, that would be rather nice. Oh, and Pansy, throw Ginny in there as well. As much fun as we had with torturing her, it would be nice for the Dark Lord to finish the both of them off in one piece. Or should I say two pieces? Hee hee.'
Chapter 7.
It was dark and cramped inside the wardrobe. Harry was squashed, headfirst into it, and Ginny had been thrown over the top of him, before the closet door had slammed and locked them both in.
Harry could hear the four Death Eaters outside of it, laughing and talking gaily as if they has not been just torturing a couple of people. Harry vowed that they would sorely regret it. He could feel the warm breath of Ginny on the back of his neck, and decided that the first thing he would tell her once they were ungagged was that she should really brush her teeth more often. In any case, it was really uncomfortable inside the closet, and Harry, cramped and in pain, tried to while away the hours dy drifting in and out of fitful conciousness.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, for it was in fact three hours and not a moment more or less, they heard the closet door open and they fell out of it in a heap into the blinding light of the room. Above him, Harry could see a very nice chandelair, encrusted with pretty looking stones and expensive crystals. He made a note to himself that when he got out for this mess (for he was very sure that he would get out of this mess), that he would ask the Malfoys where they got those lovely chandeliars from so that he might purchase a couple for himself.
But his thoughts were cut short, and the shortened thoughts of him were only shortly shortened, for the Dark Lord's head obstructed his view of the chandelairs, and Harry noticed that voldemort was standing over him with a rather nasty expression on his face wich did nothing for his striking features. Harry also noticed a pimple on the Dark Lord's chin and decided that next Christmas he would buy Voldemort some instant healing zit cream from Warwick's chemist, that was, if Voldemort was around to see next Christmas.
'My my, Little Harry and Jenny,' The Dark Lord murmured, bending down uncomfortably close and unbinding thier gags.
Ginny coughed. 'Ahem. I am actually Ginny, not Jenny.' Ginny said curtly.
'Yes well, whatever your name is, i'm afraid that you won't be around much longer.' Voldemort said casually.
The Death Eaters behind him giggled nervously.
'You won't be layin' a finger on mah woman!' Said Harry, 'Not while i'm around- not when there are Aurors looking for me at this moment! Not when-'
'That is quite enough.' The Dark Lord said. 'There are an infinate amount of reasons why you are beyond help, Harry, but I really can't be bothered stating them all right now. So, if you please, I am going to use this portkey (here Voldemort took an old chain of keys from his pocket and tapped them with his wand), and each of you, that is, everyone, is going to touch it on the count of three!
'Oh, which probably means that I should unbind you, Harry and Guinea. Oh but theres no trying to resist. You are both wandless, Haahaa!'
Harry and Ginny, now unbound at the hands and feet, stood shakily. They both knew what they were going to do; on the count of three, when everybody touched the portkey, they wouldn't touch it, and therefor be left in the Malfoy Manor when everyone else had dissapeared. It was a brilliant idea. Flawless plan. They would then make thier escape together of Harry's broom.
Voldemort raised one of his thoroughly plucked eyebrows. 'Don't be trying anything funny now, you two.' He said, as if he had read thier thoughts, for indeed he had.
Harry and Ginny closed thier minds and nodded.
Voldemort held out his keychain and everyone gathered around.
'One...' Voldemort began, 'Two... Three!'
The Death eaters vanished, leaving Ginny and Harry in the room... with Voldemort.
'Drat.' Harry said. 'It didn't work.'
Voldemort laughed. 'We obviously I can read your minds. But it doesn't matter, we will apparate. But not in here, You can't apparate into the Malfoy sitting room. On to the balcony, if you please.'
With this, Voldemort grabbed Harry and Ginny by the napes of thier necks in each hand and threw them through the open french-doors onto the baclcony. There he grabbed them each with a hand and there they apparated to a place far beyond the Malfoy Manor.
Chapter 8.
The place that they had apparated to was far beyond the Malfoy Manor, yet definatley somewhere in Britain, Harry thought, because as he stood there he felt the bitter chill of winter. Therefor, at this time of the year he could not have been in New Zealand or some other similarly outlandish place, Nor in Australian Desert. The mist and dampness suggested that they weren't in America, And he knew for a fact that they definatly weren't in Asia or Africa. (how he knew for a fact he didn't exactly know).
'Where are we?' He asked the Dark Lord.
'We are standing on the top of a cliff,' The Dark Lord obliged, 'And here my Death Eaters have all gathered to see the execution of you and erm... What was it? Whatever.'
Harry glanced around to see a lot of Death Eaters gathered. Among them were Draco and his croonies. Or was it cronies? The author cannot remember whether it was spelt with one or two o's, and cant, pitifully, be bothered checking. In any case, Harry saw Draco and his friends amongst the crowds. He also saw Snape, Mr. Malfoy, Walden Mcnair and Bellatrix.
The Dark Lord grabbed Ginny by the wrist and threw her off the cliff, where she fell with a scream and a splat.
'Goodbye! So long! Avior, Abeeberdanshe, Arveedershain, Arigato! Areba Areba!' The Dark Lord waved after here, threatening to break into a musical song.
'Arigato is Japanese for thankyou, you twit.' Harry interupted. 'I think "Sayonara" was the word you were looking for.'
'Ahh yes, thankyou.' The Dark Lord answered. 'Sayonara, sweetie!'
'Nooooooooo!' Harry yelled, holding one hand to his pounding breast and the other, moronically, aloft in the cold breeze. It was starting to get frost bite though, so he put it in his pocket. 'How dare you do that to my girlfriend! you can't get away with it! You will never kill me! I have destroyed all your Horcruxes!'
The Dark Lord cackled. 'Well, when you are dead, Harry, I can make some more, can't I? Ha! Ha ha! Ha!'
'Oh do get on with it,' Snape muttered uncomfortably in the background.
'Yes!' The Dark Lord continued, 'I will now kill you, Harry! this is the moment that I have been waiting for! My whole life! I never-'
'Ahem', Snape interjected.
'Oh yes, all right. For now- I will throw you off the cliff!' And with that, Voldemort picked Harry up and threw him off the cliff, where he fell with an anguished scream and a splat.
'I have done it!' The Dark Lord proclaimed. 'I have killed Harry Potter! I can't beleive it! Well, actually, I can! I am invsible! I mean, invincible! All applaud me!'
'Oh for goodness, sakes, you're getting on my nerves.' Snape answered, and poked Voldemort in the small of his back with his wand.
The Dark Lord tottered for a moment at the edge of the cliff and proceeded to fall to his doom with a scream and a splat.
'Yes!' I have won!' Snape cackled, looking at his fingers and people, and especially villains, tend to do when they are having a manic episode due to a fit of the vapours.
'I am now... KING!'
'Hooray, Hurrah.' everyone said.
THE END.