It's just a touch of man flu" If he'd heard that once, he'd heard it about a thousand times.
He reflected on the past few weeks. Series 1 of Sherlock. He was the luckiest guy in the world. But boy was it cold on set. Really cold. Bone chilling cold. And a couple of weeks ago, after over a month spent huddling in a thick coat, waiting for a take and learning lines, trying to get warm, he'd succumbed to the cold that the rest of the cast and crew already had. No point in moaning about it. They'd all got it and they weren't moaning.
Ben rolled over in bed and rubbed his aching head. Why couldn't he throw this cold off. It just seemed to be getting worse and worse rather than better, and every time he blew his nose, it was green. Sick just when he was having a brilliant time, and loving every minute of the work he had. He pinched himself that it was him they chose to play this wonderful part. The part most actors only get to dream about playing. And it was his. And now he was ill.
The snooze alarm went off, and he eased himself out of bed. The sheets were absolutely soaking for the third night in a row. In the middle of winter. His head felt much worse as he sat up.
He coughed one of those deep, barking coughs which every actor dreads. One which makes filming such a nightmare. Holding in a cough while trying to get lines out. His throat hurt from all the coughing and his chest felt tight, like someone had pulled a belt around him. His breathing was shallow and more frequent than usual. He just couldn't get the air into his lungs that he needed and the pain seemed to sharpen down his right side every time he took in a breath.
After showering, he headed off to the set.
"Morning" Martin said cheerfully as they first met up that morning "Oh gosh, you ok? You look rather rough today. Man flu got worse?"
Ben laughed and smiled. Martin had had 'Man Flu' for much longer than him, and he hadn't complained once, so Ben didn't really have a leg to stand on about how he was feeling.
They both headed off to makeup and costume. Ben went to speak but the intake of cold air caught his breath and he let out a racking coughing fit.
"That actually isn't sounding too good, mate" Martin commented "Maybe you should see a doctor"
"Going to make the day interesting" said Ben as he coughed again "Just speaking is setting me off at the moment." He returned to concentrating on his lines for the day but he just couldn't focus. His head was pounding as he took another cold and flu tablet. He'd lost count of the number he'd taken over the past few days.
He was very quiet in makeup. Almost too quiet his makeup artist thought. His character was very thoughtful and prone to periods of thought. Ben wasn't like that at all, and he was sweating profusely. She had to dry his face several times, and the make up just wouldn't take.
After an hour or so, they headed off to location for the days filming. A bitterly cold day - freezing according to the thermometer - and the whole day was scheduled to be outside. Ben picked up his thick coat, and the hot water bottle he had filled for himself a little earlier. He looked at himself in the mirror. Even fully made up, his eyes still shone red.
Steven and Mark had headed onto set to see how things were. Filming had fallen slightly behind schedule and there was a massive pressure to pick up the pace and recover lost time. There had been no let up in line learning over the past 2 weeks, and so Ben had found himself working late into the night preparing for the day ahead. He had to ignore his aching head, running nose and the pain that had spread across his chest. He could not admit to being ill. He had to work.
Ben opened his mouth to speak but instead a hacking cough came out. The cold air rushing into his lungs took what little breath he had left right away.
"Not well, Ben?" Steven asked
"He's not been well for a couple of weeks" replied Mark. "Touch of manflu, eh Ben. Don't worry, you'll soon be over it. Manflu hits us all from time to time" and with that, he dashed off into a meeting with the floor manager.
Ben nodded, unable to reply as another hacking coughing bout hit him.
Steven looked at him thought fully. "He really isn't at all well" he thought to himself.
Ben sat down in his chair and sipped at his coffee. He pulled his coat closer around him. He was shivering uncontrollably yet sweating heavily. He couldn't even face a cigarette that was offered to him by one of the crew. Ben never turned down a cigarette. Steven eyed him up carefully again and then went off to talk to some of the production crew.
The day was a long one, made up of several takes. Ben fought his desire to cough and managed to complete many of the takes as required. At the yell of 'cut' he would let out all that he had pent up, and on a couple of occasions had to sit down to recover. HIs head was spinning and his nose was like a tap. As quickly as he cleared himself out, he felt like he had to blow his nose again. He decided it was actually the worst day he had ever had on set. Period.
A wave of relieve came over him as the call for 'lunch' came, and he was able to head back to his trailer for a rest. He climbed the 5 steps up to the trailer door, and was completely out of breath. He had to stop for a moment to get air into his lungs before he could muster up the energy to even open the door to go inside. Steven watched him with increasing concern
"I think we need to go and talk to Ben" Steven said to Mark. "I've been watching him all morning and he's really not well at all."
"It's just a touch of man flu, Steve" Mark replied
"Somehow I don't think so. He can't even climb 5 steps up to his trailer without stopping to catch his breath. I think its more than just a cold. Definately flu. Maybe quite a nasty chest infection. Either way, he's just not well and if we keep working him like this he'll keel over on us"
When they got to the door of the trailer, they heard Ben coughing.
"That cough doesn't sound right to me" said Steve. "It sounds like he's coughing his lungs up"
"I have to admit, I think you're right" Mark replied. "Perhaps I've been a bit guilty of thinking he'd just got a heavy cold. It has been going on for a few weeks now and he does seem to be getting worse rather than better. It has been pretty cold on set. I've been tucked away in the editing suite for quite some time, so I've been immune to just how cold it is, but the other day I spotted him holding a hot water bottle to his face, he was that cold."
They entered the trailer and Steven looked at Ben, sat on the sofa, shivering and coughing uncontrollably, trying to hold a cup of tea but his hands were shaking too much.
"How are you feeling" Mark asked him
"I'm OK" Ben said "Just a bit of man flu, that's all. You know what us men are like when we've got a cold"
Mark looked Ben squarely in the eyes. "And now the truth please"
"If I'm brutally honest, really bad"
"We can see that. How about we get the doctor to come onto set and to look at you"
"It'll be totally fine, really. Don't worry about me. I just need to sit down for a bit. I've got an hour now so I thought I'd just have a little rest here rather than joining everyone else in the canteen."
Ben took off his coat and jacket. His shirt was soaking wet
"Somehow I don't think you are OK" said Mark standing up. "That's not right. It's the middle of winter, freezing cold outside, and you're sweating like it's the hottest day of the year" He lent over and touched Ben's forehead "Jesus Christ Ben, you're burning up. I've never felt anyone so hot in my life. Doctors coming whether you like it or not."
Ben wanted to protest but instead just nodded, quite relived that someone had taken charge of the situation. If he was honest with himself he knew something was quite wrong with him. He had worked through it to the very best of his ability but it was now overtaking his body. Consuming him. He just wanted to sleep but the filming schedule didn't allow it. Waves of nausea had been taking him over with increasing regularity and right now another one was hitting with a vengeance.
Mark headed out of the trailer, leaving Steven and Ben together. Steven went to the cupboard and pulled out a face cloth. He took it to the sink and covered it in ice cold water, before heading over to Ben and putting it on his neck. The cool feeling was welcome on his fevered brow, which was pouring with sweat, his headache thumping relentlessly. He buried his head in his hands.
"Headache?" Steven asked
"Oh god, yes. Had it for days but somehow managed to cope with it until today"
"Take it easy. The doctor's on his way now. We'll get to the bottom of this but in the mean time, just sit still"
The doctor arrived pretty quickly. It took about 15 minutes to examine Ben. He felt relieved to be able to lie down in the trailer once the examination was over and almost immediately fell asleep, unaware that Steven, Sue, Mark and Martin headed back into the trailer with the doctor for the verdict.
"I'm pretty sure it's pneumonia"
"It's WHAT?" Mark shouted, angry at himself for dismissing Ben as just having a touch of manflu.
"His temperature is dangerously high - 104 or 39.4 degrees. That on its own is enough to hospitalise him. It would appear talking to Ben that he's had several bouts of flu on top of each other and has never quite recovered from one before the next has taken over. His immune system just hasn't been able to fight it and the cold, damp conditions he's been working in along with the physical and mental demands of the role haven't been condusive to recovery. He's really sick and needs to be hospitalised immediately. At the moment it's just in one lung but I can hear the rattle of it developing on the other one too. He's actually really lucky we've caught this. He needs a massive dose of antibiotics and total bed rest"
Steven and Mark nodded. "Can we let him sleep here for a bit first?" Steven asked
"I'm afraid not. We have to get him into hospital quickly. He needs intravenous antibiotics as soon as possible and also looking at how wet his shirt is, I'd say he's also pretty dehydrated so we'll need to sort that out for him too."
The doctor picked up his phone to call the ambulance and headed down the trailer steps.
"I knew he wasn't right, but I didn't realise it was so bad" said Martin blaming himself "He didn't tell me. Whenever I asked him, he just said he was fine."
"You weren't to know" said Sue. "We are all feeling this cold weather and I guess we all just assumed he was feeling like we are. We just need to give him the time and space he needs to get well now."
Word quickly spread around the set that Ben was ill. Really ill. And that an ambulance was coming to take him to hospital. Martin headed out of the trailer and was immediately met by a sea of worried faces.
"What's happened?" asked one of the runners
"He's really sick. He's got a temperature of 39.4 and the doctor believes it's pneumonia"
"Shit. And we were making such fun of him that he'd just got man flu like all the rest of us."
"Well lets face it, he's not really let on, has he. Yes, he's got a cough that beats us all and he's been blowing his nose like it's going out of fashion, but he's just got on with it. I think I've only seen him take paracetamol once but in the trailer he's just admitted for the past two weeks he's been dosed up to the maximum with paracetamol and ibuprofen."
Ben lifted his head up from the pillow and remembered where he was. The fan blowing cold air onto his face was a welcome relief and his head was no longer pounding.
He felt down to his left wrist which was a little sore. A canular, leading up to several drips. He couldn't quite make them out.
He coughed and the familiar burning came across his chest again.
He heard a noise and looked across the room. The producer of the show was sitting there reading a magazine
"Hello sleepy head" she said as she came over and sat down next to him on the bed "How are you feeling"
"Rough. How long have I been asleep?"
"About a day and a half"
Ben shook his head. A day and a half. Last he remembered was the doctor telling him the ambulance was coming. He was in his trailer then.
"You went utterly spark out in the trailer on set, and even the ambulance coming and taking you didn't wake you up. You've drifted in and out a little since but been pretty much out cold the whole time."
"I had no idea." He coughed again
"You have to take it easy, Ben" Sue said, smiling at him. "Don't worry about filming. We've done a massive reschedule and we're moving forward with all the bits that don't involve you at the moment. It does mean your workload will be slightly higher when you come back, but it buys you quite some time to rest which is what matters at present."
"I'm so sorry"
"What for?"
"That I got sick. I didn't mean for it to get this bad. I just thought it was a touch of flu but it kept getting worse and worse and then I just couldn't throw it off. Then I started coughing and sweating. It was the wet bed sheets every morning that told me something was really wrong. But everyone else on set has been ill too, so why was I so much worse than them. I couldn't say anything could I?"
"Yes, but no one else has the pressure on them that you have. They don't have to go home and learn pages and pages of dialogue every night. They aren't the one in front of the camera having to give a performance day in, day out. They aren't the ones on set, freezing in just a suit. They can keep warm in their thick coats. You can't underestimate how hard that is, Ben and it takes its toll. Let a bug in and it will take a hold in no time at all."
"Martin hasn't got this sick"
"No, but he has admitted he's glad of the rest too right now. If we'd gone on much longer he wouldn't have been far behind you".
They were disturbed by the doctor "Don't keep him talking too long, Sue. It's not good for him. Now your awake, Ben, I can talk you through your treatment. When you came in we cleaned you out. You were quite gunged up, I can tell you."
"I know" said Ben coughing again "As fast as I cleared it out, it was all back again"
"As you can see, we have several drips up here. There are two different doses of high concentration antibiotics going into your system at present. This is one hell of an infection we're fighting here. Pneumonia is a secondary infection so we're having to fight that plus the chest and throat infection which took hold of you in the first place. One is directly fighting the pneumonia itself and the other is a general antibiotic to fight the primary infection and to help your immune system gain some strength back again. The third one is a saline drip. You've sweated so much that you were severely dehydrated when you came in. You're on all of these for at the next few days. I'd say you're in here for at least the next 2 or 3 days."
Ben sighed. He was so cross with himself. He'd been in total denial about how sick he really was. He'd been convinced it was just a touch of manflu but now he was in hospital and feeling probably the worst he'd ever felt.
Sue got up to go "I'll give your love to everyone. Don't rush this. You'll only end up back here again. Don't worry about filming." She turned to go
"I'm so sorry again" Ben said
Sue came over to him and gently kissed his forehead. "There is no need at all to apologise. What you need to focus on is getting well. You've cooled down alot so that's a good sign. You'll be on the right side of this soon." She headed out of the door and Ben watched her walk down the coridoor.
A wave of exhaustion hit im. Ben turned over on the pillow and was soon asleep again.
When Sue returned to set, she was inundated with questions about how Ben was
"He's not well at all. He finally woke up about 2 hours ago, and I told him we changed the filming schedule. He's been out cold for 36 hours. They've told him he needs to be in hospital for at least another 2 or 3 days and then some recovery time. We'll just need to work around the schedule. Thankfully the next two days are scheduled to be off anyway, so we'll have more of an idea of his return date by then."
The next day Ben awoke feeling much better. He spent the morning reading his script, not prepared to take the total bed rest that the doctors had advised.
Martin appeared at his door. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better thanks. Still not perfect, still really bunged up, and my chest is really tight but I feel so much better than I did. I'd not really slept for 3 days prior to taking really bad and I just felt so bad."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"Because I knew you were all suffering too. I didn't think I was any worse than you all were. Kind of in denial I guess. I knew I felt bad but surely not worse than any of the rest of you. I think I was a little wrong there!"
"Do you know when you're coming out?"
"I'm hoping tomorrow. They say I'm making good progress and I'm not coughing so much Apparently they cleaned me out when I was admitted and I have to say I feel so much better for that. Kind of glad I was out cold though and don't remember! How about you?"
"I'm OK. I have a feeling I wasn't far behind you though. I've been feeling pretty rough too. Once you'd been carted off in the ambulance the doctor came and took a look at me too. My temperature was up and I've got a chest infection as well. So I've join you with antibiotics. He's signed me off for a couple of days too so that's mixed filming up a bit. I'll be right as rain in a day or so though."
"I think it's been a bit tougher on us than perhaps we'd thought."
"I think you're right. I think they'd underestimated how tough this schedule actually was. I don't know about you but just keeping on top of the line learning was killing me - and I've not got half as much to learn as you have."
Ben smiled and lifted up the sheets to reveal a script. "I can't even stop while I'm in here. If I stop learning them, I'll never catch back up with myself. I try to work 5 days in advance of myself so I have to pick back up or I've got no hope when we return to set"
"Do you know, that's the first time in weeks you've not coughed when you've laughed. You must be feeling better."