Sometimes darkness takes over our bodies,leaving us in Depression. We go through life, no one ever knowing your smile was fake. The monster inside of you...Let's call him Night...Let's those thoughts sit inside you. They tease and laugh,and you sit and let it happen,until you pick up that knife and run the blade across your skin. Doesn't it feel great? All the pain is gone. No one ever knows...Who you are.
Arthur took in a deep breath and let the air go out. He did this a couple of times to himself,calming his body.
'He won't like you..You are nothing..Worthless..He'd be happy if you killed yourself.' Night spoke to him.
Arthur shook off his monster and walked into his Chemistry class.
'He won't like you..He's not gay like you' Night said again.
Arthur once again shook him away and took his seat next to..him. The hottest guy in school. Every girl wanted to date him. He had a girlfriend,the head cheer-leader who was a total whore. Alfred F. Jones,the pretty boy. He took his seat and listened to him sweet talking the girly girls,with that..luscious deep voice.
"Take your seat class. I've set up the needed materials before you,the instructions are in the packet i'm passing back,begin your work." The teacher spoke.
Arthur took the packet in his hands and looked at it,making a small sigh.
The instructions said, 'Roll up your sleeves.' But he couldn't,they'd see all the cuts.
Arthur just went ahead and started to work without Alfred.
"Woah,Hey. We are partners,We need to work together! Dude, roll up your sleeves!" Alfred touched Arthur's arm and started to roll up his sleeve.
Arthur quickly slapped his hand away and pulled his arm back. "Please..I'm fine. I'll do the work for you.."
And that's how the class went. Arthur did all the work,Alfred did nothing.
When the end of class came,and everyone was gone, The teacher called Alfred and Arthur up.
"Why was Mr. Kirkland here doing all the work?" He asked.
"I told him i'd do it..." Arthur said softly and rubbed his arm.
"I noted you didn't follow instructions and roll your sleeve's up,Mr. Jones tried to help but you stopped him. Roll up your sleeve's Arthur." The teacher demanded.
'Look..Alfred will see you're an emo kid..' Night said.
Arthur pulled up his sleeve's and held out his arms.
The teachers face went pale at the amount of cuts on Arthur's arms.
Alfred was just...frozen. He had been a bully to Arthur for years..only stopping last year..He never realized what all the bullying caused him to do.
"Mr. Kirkland,Go t-" The teacher was interrupted by Alfred.
"I'll take him sir." Alfred grabbed Arthur's arm and pulled him down the hallways.
Arthur was lost. Why was this happening to him,what did he do wrong?
Alfred took him into an open closet and turned on the light. He locked the door and looked at him. The first thing that happened,a slap across the face.
This brought tears to Arthur's eyes,he sat there stunned.
"Give me the knives on you." Alfred held out his hand.
Arthur reached into his pockets and pulled out 3 small knives,handing them to Alfred who threw them away.
Alfred touched where he slapped. "I'm sorry that i bullied you for so many years..If i had known what i was doing..I would've stopped..My little sister cuts herself too..It breaks my heart to see anyone do it..."
Arthur clenched his fists. "That's your fucking excuse? You don't give a fuck about me! My dad is dead and my mom is a hooker who's slept with bunches of guys in this school! She doesn't accept me as her child.. Then..They pick on me..Because i'm gay..You know..nothing.." Arthur ran out of the closet,running and pushing people away until he escaped the building, running home to be alone.
Alfred stood in shock,his body frozen in place. Guilt ate over him. He sat against the wall and put his head into his hands. "Why me..why am i so stupid...I'll go visit him later..."
Arthur sat at home all day. He was locked in his room while his mother was sucking off some dude. It was silent for 15 minutes before the door bell rang. Arthur's mom walked over to the door. "50 dollars." She stated and held out her hand.
Alfred flinched and rubbed his arm. "Um...I'm here to see Arthur..Sorry.."
Arthur's mom looked surprised,then yelled up. "HEY FAGGOT! SOMEONE IS HERE FOR YOU!"
Arthur walked downstairs. "WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU SLUTTY WHO-" Arthur looked over at Alfred in shock, his heart skipped a beat. "If you two are gonna fuck,keep quiet, i don't want to chase away my clients." She walked back downstairs.
"Hey Arthur..." Alfred said shyly and stepped inside,closing the door.
"What are you doing here Alfred..?" Arthur looked at him.
"I couldn't leave you alone..I just can't..Now i know..what your mom is like.." Alfred walked upstairs with him into his room. He pulled Arthur into a hug. "You have it so hard..I want to help you.." Alfred said.
Arthur got tears in his eyes,putting his face in Alfred's shoulder. "I want the guy i like to love me,But his girlfriend is a whore and he doesn't even see it!"
"Who is this guy? I'll help you get him.." Alfred spoke.
"You..." Arthur blushed.
A smirk came over Alfred's lips and he started laughing. "I know my girlfriend is a slut,That's why she's in jail now and we aren't together~ She slept with the Calculus teacher and got caught." He smiled.
Arthur blinked and shuddered at the thought. "What a whore.." He muttered under his breath.
"I was really never dating her,she just claimed that i fucked her she was pregnant with my child,everyone knew it was a lie,or so it seemed..everyone expect you.." Alfred reached out and grabbed Arthur's arms, rolling up his sleeves. "You cut yourself because you believed that whore..Because some people are homophobic. These cuts never really did help you..Did they..?" Alfred looked up with a rather serious expression.
Arthur sat down on his bed and let Alfred sit infront of him. He opened up a drawer,full of knives, pulling one out and throwing it at the wall. "In the short term it stopped the pain..It felt so damn good.." He nodded. "I have a monster inside of me..I call him Night..because he helps me suffer more." Arthur leaned against the headboard. "It felt like..when i cut myself..i was getting rid of unwanted blood. I mean honestly,Who wanted this? I'm no girl in a short skirt,bending over and flashing her ass. I'm not a girl period. I don't have boobs to show off to men,I don't have what they desire..I'm not here for the love..I want the comfort..The loving comfort of another man..Look here." Arthur pulled out a box from under his bed. There were 23 notebooks from Grade 1 to Grade 11. "Every single insult i've gotten has been written here."
"Every insult took 23 note books?" Alfred blinked.
"23,1000 paged notebooks. Do understand while you were being a pretty boy,your followers destroyed me."
Alfred grabbed one of the notebooks and flipped through the pages.
"I guess maybe i took my anger off on you..More or less..Because i often don't even remember bullying you..which means something was wrong with my head..and i've never drank or smoked before..I do really hope you can put trust into me now. We'll make these little scars go away one by one. It could take years but i'll help." Alfred ran his fingers over the cuts softly.
"That's very kind of a boy who's just my Chem partner."
"Just because i'm popular doesn't mean i still don't have a heart."
"It would seem like you're the only popular boy who would even pay attention to me." Arthur leaned back. "I'm sorry..I'm dumping all my problems on you.." He muttered.
Alfred shook his head. "I have all day, just get it off your chest if it makes you feel better."
Arthur nodded. Alfred patted his lap and Arthur rested his head in it,speaking. "I'm pretty nice to people..I mean, normally my mom respects me,and i do too,unless she's being a whore again,i hate seeing people give up their body for sex,but it's the only job she could get,and the money she uses all for me.." He sighed. "Though she still kinda hates me..i was an accident really,dad didn't pull out fast enough..I was almost aborted,but my dad stopped my mom. If my dad was still here..I would be much more happier..But..He was murdered in a fight with my mom's ex..And the man got not guilty..." Arthur closed his eyes.
"My mom used to tell me i was just adopted but my dad would pull me aside when she was gone and tell me the truth. My dad loved me, and he always disapproved of what she did. Though he stayed with her for me so i wouldn't have to feel alone."
Alfred was silent,in shock by these words. He rubbed Arthur's head softly to keep him from crying while he spoke.
"I know..i'm the smartest kid in school..I didn't go to school until 4th grade when my father died and couldn't home school me anymore. I often came to school crying,calling me a pussy,a faggot,and telling me to suck it up. Even the teachers would yell at me. Often times i'd be in the nurses office while two teachers fought over the reason i'd cry,and the nurse would cuddle me and sing a lullaby so i could sleep without the pain. We lived in a messed up world where if you aren't perfect on the outside,then you are a mistake. Well,This is true to some,not everyone." Arthur nuzzled Alfred sadly. "Whenever i saw you kissing that whore i'd run,people soon gained onto that and realized i was gay. They wouldn't have cared if it was some unpopular kid, but because it was you that i liked, it was a fight to make sure you only saw me as a sore loser."
Alfred covered his mouth slightly to interrupt him. "Arthur..It'll be okay i promise..i-" Alfred was stopped by his phone ringing. "I have to go..I'll see you at school.." He gave him a tight hug and ran home.
Arthur smiled slightly and changed into PJ's,heading to bed early and skipping dinner.
The school day went by as normal. That was only the first period. Second period Chem class came and as Arthur walked in,Alfred waved to him. "Sup." He said, acting rather normal.
Arthur sighed and took his seat.
The teacher nodded to Alfred. They had a plan together,something that would shock not only the school,but Arthur as well. All the teachers were in on it. Alfred had gotten every class switched to the same classes as Arthur after 2nd hour,and the next day he would also share the same first period class.
Arthur went to work when the class started,it was just a social day, but Arthur had homework he needed to catch up on. Alfred was talking to some of his friends behind him, one guy and a couple of girls. Arthur never really payed attention to the convo,until he heard; "Excuse me a second." and his shoulder was tapped. When Arthur turned his head he was pulled into a kiss by Alfred, which made half of the class drop quiet,and the other half didn't really care.
Arthur's eyes went wide and his entire face went red. What the hell was he doing, kissing him infront of all of his friends,all the girls that liked him, he was going to ruin his reputation. Alfred pulled his lips away,and went back to talking to his friends,who just shook off what they had just witnessed and carried on their conversation.
Arthur's only friend Kiku waved him over,and the two sat in the back of the room. Kiku was a student who came from Japan Arthur's Freshman year. Kiku was a gamer geek,Often times he would talk about Anime or other silly games,The reason they were friends is because Kiku and Arthur shared interest in old fashion games,Even old games on the Atari.
"Don't you have a crush on Alfred-san?" Kiku asked.
Arthur nodded and shuddered. "I do..I'm really lost in a state of shock right now.."
Kiku patted his back. "What happened yesterday? Both of you were gone the rest of the day.."
Arthur touched his arms. "He saw my scars,and when i ran home,he followed..So i told him everything and he offered to be my friend and help. I even told him that i did, infact,have a crush on him."
Kiku offered his fan since Arthur's cheeks were bright red.
Arthur fanned himself to calm down. "Maybe Alfred-san likes you back,Wouldn't that be cool!" Kiku laughed.
Kiku was gay as well,he was dating the shy boy of the school,Matthew Williams. Though when around Kiku,Matthew talked.
"Wow there Kiku, yesterday was the first time we talked. Ever."
"That is true,but maybe Alfred-san had a crush on you for a life, and when you admitted your love for him, it triggered his love and caused him to place a kiss on your lips."
Arthur looked over to Alfred,who waved when he looked. A faint blush spread across his cheeks and he looked back at Kiku.
Kiku smirked. "He so does like you."
The bell rang and Arthur grabbed his things. Alfred put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's hang out in here,Teacher said we could. The long passing period is between 2nd and 3rd hour,so we have 30 minutes. So just sit." Everyone had left and the door was shut. Arthur sat down on the lab station desk while Alfred sat infront of him. "Did you like the little show i put on?" He asked and tilted his head to smile.
Arthur blinked. "You kissed me..a-and..you didn't even realize..-"
"I do realize what can happen,of course everyone is going to go around and say i locked lips with you,but i don't care honestly,Every girl interested me just wants me to throw them on the desk and fuck them,That's honestly not what i want. I hate sluts,and i already know,these girls are gonna try and pull me away,so..Whenever one is close..I'll kiss you.." He smirked.
Arthur looked down. "So that kiss had no meaning in it i guess.."
Alfred shook his head. "It did,You're not a bad kisser." He smirked and ruffled Arthur's hair.
Arthur made a small squeak. Alfred was serious? He enjoyed the kiss. Alfred leaned forward and slightly caused Arthur to bend back on the desk. Alfred's hand went behind Arthur's head and brought their lips close enough,almost touching. "Let's do this for real now.." He whispered and pressed their lips together. It was a loving, passionate kiss filled with love from both of them. Arthur was in shock at first,but his eye lids slowly closed and his arms snaked around Alfred's neck,holding him tight. Arthur's heart was beating,and when their lips split apart,there was a trail of drool connecting their lips still.
"I love you Arthur..Let me take care of you..Let me make you happy...Let me make the pain end..Let me give you everything you want..I'll be yours..Your one and only..I'll be the best boyfriend..Please go out with me Arthur.." Alfred looked at him seriously.
Arthur whispered softly. "I'll be yours..forever.."