When Master Makarov and Erza returned from the regular guild masters' meeting they were greeted with two surprises.
Jellal was visiting ("Why hello there" master said) .
A sight of a chaos that none of the two had expected.
They had underestimated the destructive power of the members of their beloved guild. And neither master nor Erza appreciated the results.
After Erza went all out and master cried out all his tears (he was be unable to cry for the next week), the one left in charge of fairy tail was considered guilty, who turned out to be Laxus—king of evil—Dreyer.
After Erza put on her dominatrix outfit (much to the annoyance of Wendy who had to take care of Jellal, after he almost died from blood loss) and questioned the blonde *cough* asshole *cough*, finally a story was found.
From Laxus's testimony gained from the interrogation (also known as torture), we learned that it all didn't start when Laxus didn't notice that Jellal brooding in the so called misery table of the guild. And that did not catch his interest at all. He was totally not lonely and totally wasn't looking for a conversation starter with Mirajane.
So when he didn't ask Mira about the blue-haired guy's reason to sulk, her reaction was what he expected. Mira's ever present gentle smile did not turn into a grin of mania and that did not scare the hell out of him. As he expected, Mirajane did not lean way too close to his face and her lips did not accidentally crash on to his not because of Kinana's accidental push. He totally wasn't dreaming about that for months and he totally didn't blush.
That was the all the lightning dragon slayer said before he promptly fainted.
The rest of the not-story was gathered from a still sobbing Fried and a still twitching Gray.
Fried was having an absolutely perfect day and was not skipping to Laxus, when he didn't realized that the cocky blond was busy making out with Mira—drop dead gorgeous—jane. And of course that didn't make him feel very, very lonely and heartbroken. His love rival had not won and he didn't run to the only person in the guild who would understand his current situation, Juvia Lockser.
No, Juvia was not gleefully stalking Gray (pssst, right.), when Fried did not run to her crying. ("They…they…could at least make*sob* it a threesome!") Not sensing her guild mate's pain; Juvia had not wrapped her arms around the green-haired man and did not hold him as close to her as possible while he didn't let it out. The blue-haired woman did not have her hands full trying to figure out if the rival in love was Mira, Laxus or Lucy. (Because Lucy's always love rival, always.)
Meanwhile Gray didn't find his eyebrows twitching in a very annoying way and so he didn't try glaring at Fried.
"Dude, yer brows twitching." Gajeel hadn't said. (Brow twitching is his thing, how DARE stripper boy try to not steal HIS thing!)
"NO, IT ISN'T YA PIECE OF NOODLES!" Gray didn't say. (But even IF he said something, he really used the word noodles, he swears. He's already spent way all of his money paying Wendy for swearing in her presence.)
"WHAT THE APPLES DID YOU SAY, YOU DIRT!" the dragon slayer did not respond. (Again, even IF Gajeel did say something, he did not swear, cause honestly, he too has wasted too much of his money to be willing to say 'bad' words.) "JUST CUZ YOU HAVE AN APPLE FLAVORED CRUSH ON JUVIA DOESN'T MEAN YA GOT A LEGIT REASON TO BE PISSED!"
"YEAH, APPLE FLAVORED RIGHT! THE DAY I HAVE A CRUSH ON JUVIA IS THE DAY FLAME-BRAINS WALKS OUT FROM A CLOSET WITH LUCY!"
Natsu did not walk out of the broom closet with Lucy seconds after Gray didn't speak the words.
So no, seeing no other way out Gray didn't throw a chair at Natsu out of desperation. Which just so happened to not land on Mirajane, who was still not making out with Laxus. Laxus wasn't about to attack Gray because, hellooooo, he wasn't making out with Mira—drop dead gorgeous—jane (and not apple flavored enjoying it), but Mira didn't beat him to it. She wasn't on her feet and emitting a dark aura that didn't scare the shit out of Romeo.
And of course, Rome didn't have to grab Wendy and hug her real tight because if he wasn't this scared Wendy didn't have to be close to the point of fainting. And no, Wendy didn't faint when Romeo didn't hug her. (Whether it wasn't Mira's HELLA SCARY, err, intimidating battle cry or Romeo's intimate embrace, we are yet to know.) And not seeing Wendy faint in the embrace of Fairy Tail's resident (old) pervert's son, Carla didn't scream bloody murder and didn't wake Lisanna up from her merry little nap.
The white exceed didn't learn a new thing that day. She didn't learn a woken-up Lisanna is as scary as Acnologia.
The Strauss sister hadn't started rampaging and Elfman, being a man, could let his manly sisters' cause all the destruction, (BECAUSE HE WAS A MAN!) He didn't throw a chair at Nab because, Nab was a man and he didn't throw a table at Max because it's manly to laugh at another man's misfortune.
Natsu Dragneel didn't take this opportunity to light up Gray's (long-forgotten) shirt and didn't throw it on Laxus. Engaging Laxus—king of evil—Dreyer in battle, was very difficult after that point.
But then the real chaos did not begin.
Oh yeah, the real chaos actually happened because uh… because… um…err… IT WAS NATSU'S FAULT!
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Probably.
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Fine, no it wasn't his fault. But he's an idiot, let's just blame him. Shhhh.
im afraid im going crazy. COME, SAVE MY SOUL WITH YOUR REVIEWS.