Someone Ate Our Homework

A/N: Okay, this was originally a Sirius tumblr prompt but I had so much fun imagining Remus do it...

In all of their six year friendship with Remus John Lupin, the other three Marauders had never seen him attempt anything remotely as evil as this.

The three boys sat in front of the Transfigurations Professor with fearful faces – so out of their demeanour – as she lashed out at them for their poor, very poor, behaviour as Gryffindor students.

"Never, in all my years, have I ever heard something as ridiculous as someone eating homework!" Minerva McGonagall said sharply.

Although she could so easily assume a stern and commanding air, it was by no means habitual to her; and the children, though they feared and never dared to dispute her authority, soon came to love her with all the pure, unselfish love of childhood, which cannot be bought.

"But it's true, Professor!" Peter Pettigrew said with a small squeaky voice, his watery blue eyes trained on his hanging feet.

"Remus Lupin is an upstanding student!" McGonagall intoned, "Even suggesting that he, for whatever reason, would eat another students' homework is preposterous."

"He's friends with us, ma'am." Sirius Black said quickly. "Would you really put it that far past him?"

"Yes." she replied, "Until I have proof of his wrong doing, you three will receive two weeks detention and I will take ten points from Gryffindor – each."

James Potter winced and he could almost feel the glares from his fellow housemates - and worst of all Lily - for putting them thirty points behind.

"What proof would suffice?" Sirius asked in a calm tone, eyeing the stern woman.

"Only a memory… which is forbidden." McGonagall said. "Now leave, I have essays to grade."

The three other Marauders stood in one fluent movement and made their way out of her office, glaring as Remus joined them on their way towards the Great Hall.

Tonight. They were getting him tonight.


The Gryffindor Common Room was eerily silent as Remus yawned and closed his textbook before standing up and stretching out his back. "Good night, lads. Don't stay up too late, yeah?"

Sirius smiled at him saccharinely, "Of course, Moony, wouldn't dream of it."

Remus narrowed his eyes at them but shrugged and meandered over to the stairs before loping up them two at a time like a very graceful antelope – at least it looked like that to the eyes of his predators who stared after him.

James nodded at Peter and the boy dropped a piece of candy on the floor before falling onto the floor after it in order to 'retrieve' it. A few seconds later, if one were to look very carefully, you would see the small figure of a rat scurrying across the commons and up the stairs.

"Right, now we wait." Sirius muttered; crossing his arms and laying his head back onto the seat behind him. James nodded and mimicked the action.

Upstairs, Remus was falling asleep… unaware that Peter was watching from the door with a spark of mischief in his small eyes.


Three pairs of footsteps echoed around the hallways as their owners trudged towards McGonagall's office with resolute determination. Their eyes – grey, hazel and blue – glared straight ahead as the heavy mahogany door came more into view. James pushed at it once and marched in, smacking the small vial onto McGonagall's desk – she actually squeaked – before turning sharply on his heel and marching back out.

McGonagall stared at the small vial and rolled her eyes – they'd stolen Remus' memories.


Dumbledore put the Pensieve in front of McGonagall with that ever present twinkle in his eye. She poured the wispy blue substance into it and took a breath before dipping her head in completely.

She landed next to four boys at the Gryffindor table, eating and laughing loudly as they made fun of Severus Snape and his 'greasy, gitty hair'. Sirius was to her immediate right with James across from him and Remus and Peter exactly the same on her left.

She watched as, fleetingly, James stole a look at Lily Evans at the far end of the table before ruffling his head and chucking a breadroll at her friend, Marlene McKinnon.

Evans looked up venomously and glared at him, "Grow up, will you?"

"Only if you go to Hogsmeade with me, Lil'." James smiled crookedly.

"Never." Lily snapped, whipping her head around so that her strawberry coloured hair fanned in the first year's face next to her; he spluttered and took a quick sip of pumpkin juice.

"You never learn, do you?" Remus asked quietly, eyeing James accusingly. "She's never going to say yes if you keep acting like a Mountain Troll."

"A handsome Mountain Troll." Sirius quipped, earning a glare from Remus. "A joke, Moony."

"You joke far too much." Remus said stiffly. McGonagall nodded and offered the boy one of her rare smiles, that he would never even really see.

She watched as he stood from his seat and gathered his books. "I have a free period this morning… I'm going up to the dormitories to study. I better not find out that you skipped McGonagall's class."

Sirius pulled a face at his retreating back and McGonagall stood up to follow Remus quickly but the scene changed and suddenly she was standing in a blank room with no doors or windows. She felt as though she might suffocate in dark rage if she didn't get out so she summoned all her strength to pull back out of the memory.

When she resurfaced, she swallowed thickly and cupped her cheeks with her hands to try and stifle the suffocating feeling building up inside her. "It's blank."

"You were in there longer than what is expected for a blank memory, Minerva." Dumbledore said.

"I mean, the memory is just of this morning until Mr. Lupin leaves the Great Hall after breakfast… then it just turns terribly dark and angry."

Dumbledore seemed to grow thoughtful before he turned back to her, "We're two days from a full moon… I suppose that would be one of his occasional blackouts."

"Blackouts?" McGonagall asked, shocked.

"Yes." Dumbledore said. "Periods that he loses all control of his senses…"

McGonagall stared at him in disbelief before letting out a rather hysterical laugh, "He really did eat their homework, didn't he?"

"It would seem so…" Dumbledore chuckled, shaking his head amusedly.

Outside the door, James, Sirius and Peter smirked at each other as if they had just robbed Gringotts and got away with it – after all… someone had eaten their Transfigurations homework.