A/N: A lot of readers have asked me to update…so here's the kick off…sung by the luscious Yeoman Stackhouse (chorus sung Allegro Con Molto Forte)…to the next section of this spacey spoof entitled—THE WRATH OF QUINN—For those who aren't trekkers, go to YouTube and look for the prequel…no joke…Space Seed, (Khan…is right up there w TB's Eric for fucktastic hawtness!),,, then rent or watch the movie The Wrath of Khan. Gilbert and Sullivan have had so many parodies based upon their operettas that they've ceased to turn over in their graves. So, here goes, to kick off The Wrath of Quinn-- FDM, Sun, thanks for giggling…y'all may be sorry you egged me on :-D
I Am The Very Model of a Modern Starship Concubine
(Sung to the tune off I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General from the Pirates of Penzance)
I am the very model of a modern starship concubine
My tractor beam pulls in the guys because my jugs are so divine
The captain he can't get enough, for quim he's reveren-tial
His oohs and ahhs are frequent and onomatopoeiatical
****
His groupies mourn, for sex with me, he's verging on fanatical
Device or no he's ripe for undulations—he's piratical
In Ready Room or Shuttle Bay he never gets enough of me
We've done some things we never learned at the Starfleet Academy
****
We've done some things we never learned at the Starfleet Academy
We've done some things we never learned at the Starfleet Academy
****
Though Bill has popped my cherry and still thinks he had the best of me
I guarantee I've learned some moves that he would give a nut to see
For Nona gave me pleasure objects unique and fantastical
That make you writhe, and groan and scream in syntax unseman-tical
****
Whether my thong is off or on is quite inconsequen-tial
The boys don't care, my mini-skirt shows off my bare essen-tials
In short, in matters both tactile and oral I am so sublime
I am the very model of a modern starship concubine
****
In short in matters both tactile and oral she is so sublime
She is the very model of a modern starship concubine
****
I know all the distinctions of male alien anatomies
Where each package should be encased and what the scenic view will be
I know exact dimensions for each curved or straight or oblong tush
They cum to me because they know there'll be no beating round the bush
****
They cum to her because they know there'll be no beating round the bush
They cum to her because they know there'll be no beating round the bush
****
My sexy Captain Northman will encounter his old nemesis
His name is Quinn; he'll want to have a tour around my premises
And in the midst of love and war, is this onslaught unfightable
Or will he find his passes absolutely unrequitable?
****
If muscular hormonal Quinn can tempt me is still to be seen
(The Tiger's eyes just eat me up when I am on the viewing screen)
His… head… is filled with anguish, and he growls in a most lusty way
I haven't quite decided if I want to run a blocking play
****
She hasn't quite decided if she's going to run a blocking play
She hasn't quite decided if she's going to run a blocking play
****
I'm very well informed about the working of an info pod
My fingers know each interface and make the Captain moan "Oh God!"
I do my duties well and I've earned nothing but opprobrium
Because I am the Yeoman who is actively disrobing him
****
She does her duties well and she's earned nothing but opprobrium
Because she is the Yeoman who is actively disrobing him
****
From Gamma Quadrant A to Theta quadrant where I screwed my prof
I've never met a man who didn't want to peel my knickers off
Although with Starfleet protocols I always try to toe the line
I am the very model of a modern Starfleet concubine
****
Although with Starfleet protocols she always tries to toe the line
She is the very model of a modern Starfleet concubine
****
I have a great conception of each gentleman's testosterone
And never met a male I couldn't lure out of the Neutral Zone
I'm game to try the races that prefer to be androgynous
They too find satisfaction in my sizzling Zone Erogenous.
****
So as the Cornucopia prepares to meet the Wrath of Quinn
I don't think that the captain and the Tiger will be kissing kin
Still, on my ass-ets they'll agree--most heartily be of one mind
For I'm the very model of a modern starship concubine
****
Still, on her ass-ets they'll agree--most heartily—be of one mind
She is the very model of a modern starship concubine
Still, on her ass-ets they'll agree--most heartily—be of one mind
She is the very model of a modern starship concubine
*snickers* *snorts*
Care to add a verse?
Stay tuned for THE WRATH OF QUINN